Why do some guys keep having sex when they know she has feelings?

[Anonymous]

Isn't it unfair for a guys to continue to sleep with a female knowing that she has feelings for him and he doesn't want a relationship? And she can't exactly say no to him because of her feelings and he doesn't help the situation either by telling her that he can't exactly say no to her either. He shows up, they have sex and then she doesn't hear from him for a while.

[MrOracle]

Many guys would end such a situation for moral reasons, but not everyone was taught to be moral when growing up - and in fact, women tend to find guys with lower morals to be more attractive, and thus are more likely to choose a guy with lower morals than a "boring, predictable" guy with higher morals.

But, ultimately, part of being an adult is to actually take control and take responsibility for your own life. You are essentially waiting for someone else to save you or defend your boundaries when that is YOUR job - and if you don't stand up for yourself and defend your own boundaries, chances are, no one else ever will.

The guy almost certainly feels that he has sufficiently advised you that he wasn't looking for (or ready for) a relationship, so if you allow things to continue, then he's not to blame. Morally, I don't agree with that since presumably you've explained your feelings to him (and if you haven't, then this doesn't apply), but from a more "legal" point of view, he's absolutely right, and frankly, modern society operates more on the "if it's legal, it's okay" level than it does from the moral level.

To put it another way, it's time for you to grow up and act like an adult and take charge of your destiny. End the relationship and move on. He's never going to commit to you, and that's clearly what you want, so the two of you are not compatible and thus continuing the relationship is going to be unhealthy for one or both of you.

As a woman, YOU are the gatekeeper of sex - YOU get to decide when sex happens or doesn't happen. As a man, HE is the gatekeeper of relationships - HE gets to decide if a relationship happens or doesn't happen. That's the balance. But you only have power if you stand up and use that power - if you sit there passively and let people do whatever they want even when it's not what you want, you can only blame yourself, because YOU are the gatekeeper.

[Asker]

Thank you. I fully understand what you're saying.

[bowenw]

Guys like that are players and are likely doing the same thing to other women at the same time. He probably knows full well that you have feelings for him and is using them against you to get sex.

[Asker]

He clearly is sigh.

[bowenw]

Best of luck to you.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[Nikki1989]

Men use women and have every excuse in the world for doing it. Scroll through the comments, and you will see a textbook example.

[Asker]

Exactly smh it's sad

[CherryLove007]

Asker... they have developed NO ZERO conscience. So take head and we women should not play fair in an unfair world. Be aware of motives at all times. Keep your access to a rare one like a man not tripped up by obsessions and such.

[Anonymous]

She can say no! Just takes willpower. Also masturbate before he comes over. It really helps.

[Opinion Owner]

Better yet, don’t let him come over

[Asker]

Okay

[Asker]

Lol ikr

[Anonymous]

For the same reason a woman will bait a man with feminine wiles even though she feels absolutely NOTHING for him simply because she likes the attention. She knows she doesn't feel that way about him, will never feel that way about him. But she likes the feeling she gets from his attention. So to her it's completely fair game.

It's the same thing hun. It's just your genders version of it.

[Asker]

Okay thank you for sharing

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome.👍

[jahaims]

The female in this situation is being used because she is a dumbass with no boundaries.

[Asker]

Okay.

[AngryCarl3]

You know he's using you. If you don't want him as a friends with benefits you need to let him go.

[CherryLove007]

Oh darlin, he is out to sabotage her spirit and he has zero repercussions. She is a doormat.

[NathanDavis]

because she will let them have sex with her...

[Asker]

Okay

[FunkyMonkee]

Isn't that what we're SUPPOSED to do?

[Asker]

Use females for sex?

[FunkyMonkee]

Our wives or girlfriends.
That's not using, that's love!
Why is it when a guy wants sex, he's using her but if she wants it from a guy, it's no big deal?

[Asker]

In this case scenario you consider it to be love... what the guy is doing?

[FunkyMonkee]

Oh! If HE doesn't want a relationship? Yeah, he's using her.

[Caurav1997]

Nothing wrong in that...

[CherryLove007]

Learn to build a conscience or your advice is poop.