Am I wrong to feel this new friend is asking too much of me?

[Amy10223]

A friend of mine I have only met twice (lives in Japan) is planning to take a trip to New York, Niagara Falls, and Washington DC. I live far from there, and he is asking me where he can meet me. I had no plans to visit NYC, but I have family in NJ that I was planning to see, and that is just planning. I met this person in Japan for coffee and on a language exchange program. I think he's asking for. a lot- but he was also thinking of coming to my home in Ohio, and I would rather meet him for just one day. He always made a point to see me when I was there--but this is different. The US is huge and I dont think he's aware of that (even though he was once in California and drove up and down the coast).

[Tarifa]

I would say, meet up somewhere neutral. A coffee, a meal maybe. NYC is as neutral as it can be. Don't meet where you live, don't meet for several days on end. If need be, make it clear that you can only be friends.

Yes, people from smaller countries usually don't realize how far places can be from one another. Japan isn't particularly small, by no means, but in comparison, it is.

[Amy10223]

If I was in NY I would do that. But I’m in Ohio and that’s a long trek for me. He seems to be mad that I said I may go IF I visit family in NJ.

[Tarifa]

Then try and meet in a town near, so you don't have to travel far. But I would rule out the possibility of him meeting you in your home town or staying over in your home town. Just common sense, I think.

[Amy10223]

He mentioned coming here as well, but I think he mostly wants to go see Niagara Falls and Washington DC. I told him I’d meet him in NYC If I go see family in NJ. Haven’t heard from him since.

[Tarifa]

It all depends how close you want him in your personal life and surroundings. Only you can answer that question.

[NathanDavis]

if you don't feel it... don't force it

if he can't understand it... that's not on you really

[Nikki1989]

Japan is roughly the size of California. The entire country fits in a space Americans drive through on road trips. It does seem like a lot to ask.

[Amy10223]

I think so too. it's not like we are close to Tokyo station to meet.

[HollyK21]

It’s ok to politely decline, friends are allowed to say No.

[Sunshinelips]

You call him a friend but I wouldn’t trust him to come to your home. It depends how well you know him. Trust your intuition about this.

[Amy10223]

This is a married man, and he is pretty much “safe”. I don’t know if he’s traveling with his wife or alone. He made sudden plans, but I don’t think they are definite yet.

[Sunshinelips]

Still trust your gut.

[ElenaSeluna]

The only thing I can say to you is to follow your gut and instinct..

[Amy10223]

Thanks. In my question I forgot to say, he is around my age, maybe younger, and I have only met him in public places in Japan (coffee shops, shrines) and in train stations. He is married, and I have no romantic interest in him at all, and he is what I can consider "safe" (not crazy, not a stalker). But I get the feeling he may think I am not making the same effort to meet him in NYC. That's a far hike for me.

[eagle1951]

depends do you lie him

[Amy10223]

No. I've never lied to him.

[eagle1951]

Like it for some reason left out my KKKKKKKK

[Amy10223]

Haha, No, I do not like him.