I (f30) & partner (m32) been together over 6 years. Lived in many different cities, had an otherwise fun love supportive relationship. We moved to new place due to a low cost of living where his long term friends live. 8 weeks ago a close friend introduced us to a friend she knew from childhood who recently reconnected - laura. in those weeks she's been rude to me but over friendly with my boyfriend such as: -Follows him, waits outside the bathroom if they had been talking rather than wait a few mins for him to come back, walks with him into every room or place he goes as if noone else is there (often at parties or events with 30 people), strokes him arms, touches his lower back, leans in to him when talking and has physically placed herself between him and i with her back to me when we had been talking which i would find rude regardless who it was. I told him these things i noticed & also being rude me was making me uncomfortable. he got defensive said she's "harmless" & made me feel i was just jealous. For background in our 6 years we have each had many friends of the opposite sex and he has often hung out with our/his other female friends on his own. I could name at least 18 females that i have no problem being with him alone. all of those friends have been respectful of our relationship - even those around many years before me. laura has only been around 8 weeks remember. I tried for my boyfriends sake to be nice & get to know her and find out why she's standoffish. He blames me for having an issue but doesn't ask her to try to reciprocate. Since she's been around he's no longer intimate or have time for me. If i ask for a date night he says he doesn't have time. Yet can drive to the neighbouring town to drive her places. He went to get full body massages from her when she isn't a licenced masseuse, hid it from me, invited her to events he told me not to come to and even when confronted with questions about their interactions i find out he's lied about them.
Am I overthinking or is the new female friend actually a bag of red flags with her innappropriate relationship with my partner?
