My abusive boyfriend changed and is sweet now—should I still leave?

[Anonymous]

To start off, I’m a senior in highschool and have been dating my boyfriend since beginning of sophomore year.

For the first two years, he was extremely controlling and verbally abusive. I’ve always struggled with my mental health and he’d mock me for it, make fun of my body, call me horrible names, and compared me to other girls. There were numerous times he stood me up because it was “too miserable” to be around me (Halloween, my bday). He also lied about his dating experience & previous girlfriend for over a year and then got mad at me for being upset about it. He forced me to isolate and logged into all of my social media accounts multiple times per day.

Yet the entire time he never let me go on his phone or through his texts. He always had a random excuse for why I couldn’t. The only times I was allowed to go through his phone was after he was alone with it for hours (which I assume was him erasing whatever was on there).

I tried to leave so many times, but he’d isolated me and I was too far into depression for it to be safe for me to be entirely alone. I had a bad home life too, which he took advantage of.

Fast forward, about seven months ago, he seriously changed. He’s constantly doing things for me, complimenting, buying gifts, etc. He doesn’t care what I do or who I talk to. I’m allowed on his phone but not on his friends chats from before wet started dating.

I’m glad he changed but there’s this deep regret that I didn’t leave while it was bad. I have resentment for how much harm he’s done, but he’s done nothing but try to make it up to me. I’m still anxious about what he could’ve been hiding on his phone, but he convinces me it was nothing. I feel like there’s been a level of trust broken that might not be able to be rebuilt.

I’ve been thinking about breaking up. But he treats me so well now. I’m afraid I’ll never find anyone who will love me like this again. I care about him too, he’s my best friend, but I’m hung up. What do I do?

[Nikki1989]

Don't fall for that old male trick. Most men will always say what they think the woman wants to hear. You can't trust a man to that degree. Yes, actions speak louder than words, but men are notorious for faking that too.

[slatyb]

There are so many young me in the world. Someone else could love you just as well, perhaps better. I think you should end this, date some other guys, and see how you feel after a while. What are your plans after high school?

[lilBigPotato]

I'm not even gonna bother to read this wall of text. If he was abusive in the past, he will be most likely abusive in the future. It's a character trait that can't be easily changed. Don't waste your time.

[Anonymous]

Nope