Should I leave him for someone better?

[Anonymous]

A few months ago, I fell for a very kind man. He was the kindest, sweetest, caring / moral person ever, has amazing character / personality. It was a whirlwind romance. He called me his soulmate or "the one"... since we both liked EXACTLY the same things. The conversational chemistry wasn't amazing but it's strange how we are so alike in so many ways. We couldn't get enough of each other and he plans on proposing in 6 months.

But later, I began having second thoughts. He isn't financially doing well. He has no ambition to make more money in the future- one of the biggest turn offs. It worries me since cost of living is increasing by the year and yet we both still want children. He is an over spender. He is not very hygienic. He has an obsession with his cats... to the point where I feel like I have to compete with his cats for attention. His cats would interrupt us while we make love. I tried to brush it off but secretly i see his cats as an inconvenience. They're expensive to care for too. He is still grieving over his 5 yr relationship with his ex girlfriend. He is also overweight.

I can't help but feel like I can do better than him. I've always wanted to move to florida-young Floridian men are unbelievably hot, fit and nice. I was mind blown by them the last time I was there.

I'm just torn, stuck in a bad situation right now. He is the type of guy that I would settle for. A safe choice, a nice guy I can trust but also is lacking in many aspects. If I dump him for someone else, there is no guarantee that this new relationship will work out successfully.

If I don't take my chances and try to be with someone better, then I might miss out on being much happier in life.

what the hell am I going to do?

[SueShe]

You are actually a walking red flag. The one comment you made makes me believe that this relationship will not work because you state that

"... young Floridian men are unbelievably hot, fit and nice..."

That leads me to believe that you are more interested to move to a place where there are a lot of young, nice looking and probably rich men. Your statement about your need for money also goes in that direction.

Let him go because the guy deserves a woman that is not materialistic and will not likely cheat on him with any better looking Floridian guy that has a lot of money you can use.

[Asker]

You seem pretty dumb if you think I should have kids with a man who can't support a family... especially if our cost of living is rising every year. I'm looking for a man who can contribute, not a liability. Your answer does not count.

[SueShe]

Thank your dictator for the cost of living...

[Plugs]

How does he look? and you?

[laraWM]

It looks like you already left in your head

[Caurav1997]

Lara is smart in reading mind 🥰

[laraWM]

@Caurav1997 Thanks

[Caurav1997]

Your most most most welcome maam this world need smart & sharp mind like you maam...🥰

[Anonymous]

Make sure he knows you want him to improve his career prospects. I would not hesitate to improve my circumstances for the girl I want to build a family with. Also, your Florida idea is terrible. I've lived there. You are more likely to encounter a crackhead than some hot guy.

[Asker]

I have spoken about it to him. He has agreed however, I found inconsistencies among what he has said. I don't know if he is just agreeing so I would pick him. He could very well be lying.

I went to ocala florida just a month ago, went to the emergency room. The men were nice, respectful, friendly and above all, very handsome. Not one that was below average looking.

I come from NYC, all the men here are unfriendly or stuck up and have super high standards and refuse to settle down.

[Asker]

The men down in florida tend to be thin, young, attractive, fit. I know every place has its beauties and uglies but... I find way more beauties in florida than uglies. Not only that, people are friendlier and in better mood down there. In florida, People have no problem approaching and starting a conversation with strangers.

Over here where I live in NYC, people judge immediately whether or not they want to talk to you based on the way you look, dress, wealth status, weight. Usually, no one will ever approach you unless you are super attractive. NYC is also home to the world's most attractive people... so everyone here has super high standards.

I've gotten better attitudes from 6'1'', young, tall white man from florida than 5'5'', chubby, Hispanic men in NYC.

[Opinion Owner]

I completely disagree with your assessment of Florida, but I could see how it looks like a paradise compare to New York.

[Asker]

lotta handsome, thin, tall, young white men in florida.

[Caurav1997]

Yes honey leave him you deserve better

[Taurus_Woman]

You shouldn’t marry someone you already feel you’re settling for. He may be kind and trustworthy, but long-term relationships also need attraction, shared goals, good habits, and respect for each other’s lifestyle. Kindness matters a lot, but so do ambition, hygiene, financial habits, attraction, and shared future goals.

If you already have strong doubts before engagement, don’t ignore them or hope marriage will fix them. Slow down, be honest with yourself, and choose based on the life you truly want , not just fear of losing a “safe” person.

[Zionne]

Right now you’re treating him like a safe option vs better option decision instead of looking at whether you actually respect and want this specific person long-term. A lot of the issues you listed aren’t small quirks... they’re core compatibility problems that don’t usually improve from hope alone. Be honest with yourself: if you already feel like you can do better, it’s better to slow things down or step back than to move toward a proposal while you’re unsure.

[RHK36]

You sound awful and what's worse is you don't have any self awareness to see why that might be. There's a reason someone who's anonymous already mind you, posts ridiculous questions anonymously. You're not special and if this is your thinking you'll be struggling the rest of your life. Good luck, I'll pray for you ineptitude.

[Anonymous]

"You're alike in so many ways." So you're overweight and have questionable hygiene?

Yeah, you probably should leave, for both yours sake.👍

[Asker]

We aren't alike in those ways. That's why I have a problem with it

[Opinion Owner]

You're not alike in those ways that YOU know of. You don't think he don't have some gripes about you that he TOLERATES?😆

[Asker]

@opinion owner

He's not doubting our relationship. I am

[Opinion Owner]

Says you.😆

[Asker]

@opinion owner

something tells me you have absolutely no life.

[Opinion Owner]

Well it's probably a good thing your opinion of me is about as valuable as a squirt of piss then.👍
You asked a question, i just answered it is all and it's not what you expected is all. I don't know what you're getting all hissy for. I said you should leave for both your sakes.🤷‍♂️ maybe you should delve into why that bothers you. I think you'll find that's where you problem lies.

[Asker]

@opinion owner

maybe if you had an actual life, you would have something to contribute rather than to troll around

[Opinion Owner]

Telling you reality is not a troll hun. You don't have to like reality, but reality doesn't stop being reality just bwcause you don't like it.👍

[Asker]

@opinion owner

nothing you are talking about is "reality". I just see a very bored, bitter, sad person who hates his life and is trying to make other people as unhappy as he is.

[Opinion Owner]

Hun, you're a tadpole to me. You have a lot to learn about life.🤦‍♂️😆
Why ask a question just to pick a fight? You clearly don't respect this guy, you clearly want "better". But you know your value really doesn't demand better. You know this. You don't even have to tell me this. Your posting already does. That angers you.
My response is going to be the same. If i wanted to make fun of you i would've already. You want somebody to say you deserve so much more. Well, start being worthy of so much more than rather than tearing down what you have. You KNOW the reality is at some point, even he isn't going to want you. That's what bothers you. Why di you think i said leave him for both your sake. Because that was your question. In the end everyone wins. But that wasn't the answering you were seeking. That's what's eating you.🤦‍♂️😆

[Asker]

@opinion owner

Cuz It's obvious you just enjoy pulling other people down.

[Opinion Owner]

No, i weep for women like you. Because you have no spine. a lot of anger and rage, but no real spine. And the problem is the damage you cause along the way because you have no spine. Damage to guys and other women. You make the world a worse place because you're selfish. Otherwise i could care less. I don't enjoy putting anyone down. If other people could be shielded from your toxicity i wouldn't care what you say or do.👍

[Anonymous]

Gold digger are always hunting for the best prospect $ you think you get a free pass for something like this and you get kudos no, you don’t. what goes around comes around

[Anonymous]

Wdym he’s an overspender / has no hygiene

[Bykurs10]

Do it right now

[In_Trance]

good luck with that