Should I text him directly after no reply, or just move on from dating?

[Anonymous]

I’m pretty social and have close friends but i feel a bit awkward when it comes to dating. Especially as a girl who was socialized around traditional norms I refrain from approaching men unless they come to me first. Even then sometimes it gets strange because of texting. For instance, for me it takes a lot of courage to ask someone out if i’m not sure where we stand and they have not responded to the last message after the first date. But then again i take the not responding part very religiously as in assuming their interest has already subsided. If say i was still interested in them but not sure what they thought, is it worth texting them with a direct request rather than small talk? It might not be a good call but recently i hear that it is better to be vulnerable to people and be open to whatever comes. I also checked if he removed me but seems like he hasn’t but i still don’t know

[HollyK21]

I feel like this would be more about closure for yourself than anything, which you’re more than welcome to try and get. However I think him not reaching out or replying to your message says a lot. Like Calypto said, it could be a matter of him getting busy and just hasn’t gotten around to texting you. However I’d take how long it’s been since you last spoke into consideration, along with the fact that most people are glued to their phones these days. Unless something awful happened then I don’t see why he wouldn’t have checked in if it’s been like more than 24 hours, it takes moments to send a text.

[Asker]

Yeah, not awful but there was some awkwardness. I did not want to do some stuff which i guess was a turn off for him. Not really anyone’s fault though. I guess i did not want it to be a very sexual relationship but rather suggest getting to know each other better first. Not sure if he is open to that though.

[HollyK21]

In that case I would honestly wash my hands of him. I don't know what the agreement was before meeting up or what the expectation was, but a man who can’t respect your comfort levels is just selfish. Since this was a first date I totally understand wanting to get to know him one on one rather than just hopping into the down and dirty stuff. Just gross of him.

[Asker]

Yeah honestly he looked interested enough to make a move on me first in public (not on a dating app or a nightclub) i thought there was some real interest. Even though the first date went well and we did do some stuff in the heat of the moment after, he took a different stance on the second date and i actually hinted that i will not go to his place this time and we could stick to just drinks. It just didn’t feel right and he was different than before.

[Calyptomaniac]

It's possible they got busy and forget to respond to you, or there are plenty of good reasons. I'd try one more time. If you don't get an answer a second time, then you know...

[Asker]

Did you ever have a similar experIence? I haven’t really dated until my late 20s so….

[Calyptomaniac]

I was married for a long time so I didn't either. I've only been with one guy after that and he was very enthusiastic about texting all the time, so no. But if he was never going to answer your first text, then the worst thing he can do is not answer this one and then you know for sure...

[Asker]

Lol lucky you!

[WhitneySnow]

Text him. It’s a good idea.

[Asker]

Have you done it? Haha

[WhitneySnow]

Never had to. But it can’t hurt. The worst he can say is that he’s not interested. Better to know how he feels than spend all that time wondering.