Is my guy friend into me or just stringing me along while he has a girlfriend?

[MissSunshine2]

He has talked me into three catch ups, one this weekend, one next Friday, after talking me into the cruise on Thursday this week. It seemed like we were dating. Then all of a sudden, after looking at me like he wanted to make a move multiple times over our past two catch ups, he said that he has a girlfriend and has been worried that he’ll lose her when she hadn’t been in touch for a few days. I was slightly surprised, but I hid it well. I needed time to go away and think about it.

I am confused. I heard from him in the past that he’d had a girlfriend, but I thought they must’ve broken up, by his behaviour. What does he actually want? Is he honestly trying to just be friends, or is he thinking about leaving his girlfriend for me? I don’t know how to handle this, as I’ve honestly never found myself in this sort of scenario before. One thing I know is if he’s interested in me, he’ll have to break up with her or if he’s interested in her, he’ll have to tell me. Is it okay to ask him for clarity and tell him he can’t date us both?

Updates

1 mo

I am genuinely confused.

[_Jenny_]

@MissSunshine2 There are several kinds of love 💕. Look up the four 4️⃣ Greek words that describe love.

[_Jenny_]

@MissSunshine2
1. Eros romantic love, erotic is derived from Eros
2. Phili deep friendship
3. Storge Family love and protection
4. Agape love 💕 like the love for Jesus Christ

[_Jenny_]

@MissSunshine2
1. Eros romantic love, erotic is derived from Eros
2. Phili deep friendship
3. Storge Family love
4. Agape love 💕 like the love for Jesus Christ

[_Jenny_]

@MissSunshine2 do you know what kind of love 💕 you have?

[MissSunshine2]

Mine was Eros but it’s moving towards storge. His for me is and always was storge.

[_Jenny_]

@MissSunshine2 that’s so lovely

[MissSunshine2]

Yes, I’m lucky with my friendship group.

[_Jenny_]

@MissSunshine2 Thank you for the MHO 💕

[sage2021]

Yes. You need to ask him and set down the ground rules of what your relationship is with him.

[MissSunshine2]

So I asked him and he said his feelings for me haven’t changed. A strong unconditional love feeling but wanting to catch up regularly with me is because he loves me like family.

[sage2021]

Does he love you like a sister? What about the girlfriend?

[MissSunshine2]

I’m okay with this. It was a bit confusing is all, because he travelled from the posh suburbs, on public transport to the western suburbs in a moon boot, to prove that he loves me more than he values his pride in money and power and prioritised that over seeing his girlfriend, on a Saturday. Then he started having problems with his girlfriend again but kept saying he wants to see me.

[MissSunshine2]

Yes, he said he still loves me like a sister. Like always.

[MissSunshine2]

He does have Asperger’s Syndrome and so do I but the men are often more inappropriate socially and clueless than we are

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂🧡

[SamIam96]

From your description, I get the impression that he's trying to figure out what he wants. He seems to have feelings for you and at the same time has a commitment to his girlfriend.

She has been out of touch for a few days hints that she may not be so sure about him. There's a chance they will break up.

You should spend some time to figure out what you want with this guy. Are you attracted to him? Would you date him?

People always jump to "talk to him. Ask what he wants." It's too early for that. He doesn't know. I say, be yourself. Do what you want with respect to him. Protect your emotions. He may stay with his girlfriend and continue to be just friends with you. Or, the opposite may happen. Time will tell.

[NathanDavis]

this is one of those cases in which you could just actually ask him

"what are your intentions with all of this you're doing... "

[Anonymous]

lol yeah. U need to communicate and clear the air out or u you will end up in a situationship. Situationships exist because of ego as you don’t wanna talk about your boundaries

[BadInfluence05]

Sounds like your he’s plan b. If she doesn’t plan out you be one he’ll come to.

[Bklynbadboy12]

He probably just wants sex

[Anonymous]

He is up to something