Does he sound genuine? do I give it a chance?

[bobalife]

A few years ago, I went on this amazing first date with this guy. I actually felt like it was one of the best first dates. He suddenly went cold and ended things before our second date for valentines. I was actually really sad and disappointed at the time. Delulu of me at that period, maybe bc he was my type to the tea in that time and we had such a wonderful time, I thought he was one who got away…

Suddenly and randomly he found my Instagram. He msged me saying he regret what happened and embarrassed how he wasn’t so nice to me at the end when things ended. He also said it was his best first date… I didn’t tell him, but I also really did felt the same way at the time. But I don't know if he’s just saying that to just say that to get on my good side or he might mean it…

I told him I appreciate his accountability and honesty because that’s something I value. I asked what happened as to why he ended things. He said he had a great time with me but he wasn’t in the headspace to really want to date and didn’t think he would have have the time to give me. But he’s in a totally different place now.

It’s a long time and I don't know if I’ll feel the same way as before… but I don't know if I should be open or he’s bad news?

Updates

4 d

Dang I just suddenly remember how that date went and not just feeling of it being one of the best first date.. I remember he was a gentleman, everything was perfect and sparks was flying, and even when we took a stroll at the park.. we got so many compliments being such a beautiful and perfect couple by strangers 😭

[ohsheeT]

The best part about your questions is that as you ask them
You also give yourself the answer

We all know things before that happen but most don't take the quiet time to figure out or to get that answer

But once again you are more in tune more in depth with what's going on with you and around you and that's cool

And I love that your question had the details in it like the day of your second date when it was going to be

And nobody ever does not follow through on that day with a girl

And it's much more than headspace that had nothing to do with it but anyway

Well I don't believe in lying to anybody about anything but if you do decide to go out with him tell him it's your birthday in the next couple days you see what happens would it be a repeat or what he actually do something I think you already know the answer

[NathanDavis]

didn't you see that movie?

"what color are my eyes..."you should have asked what does he think was the best part of that date... what is it that he remembers the most

could also have asked how he did since... how did it go with his last date

it seems like he just said as less as possible and gave you generic answers too... lol

[bobalife]

Great advices, dating guru Nathan! I will ask him tmrw :) it was cute he was trying to put in effort tonight to remember somethings about me and us… he seemed overly apologetic on texts and voice notes on his mistake during this whole night…

[bobalife]

Do you think he’s not sincere?

[NathanDavis]

hopefully works out

just don't lower your guard

[NathanDavis]

I could imagine both possibilities... but I don't really have a way to know...

which is why I would ask much more and take it slower this time

[Anonymous]

Give him another chance but hold him to a very high standard so he doesn’t repeat that

[bobalife]

Good advice, how do I approach that?

[Opinion Owner]

I guess I would start by having him prove he has time for dating, by planning more than one in advance and testing the availability he claims he has and by communicating a lot, and seeing if he is willing to take the time and effort to back up his words

[bobalife]

Thanks girly for your advices!

[WhitneySnow]

Give him a chance. But don’t have sex with him too fast.

[bobalife]

Thanks for your advices and yes ma’am! I think I’m more curious of sincerity and if we are still compatible bc it has been a few years lol.

[Still-alive]

Ehh ordinarily i’d say skip it buuut his reason does sound reasonable. Also while talking to him does he really feel different than before? If so that’s another green light to go for it to me.

but as always trust your intuition if its telling you to stay away.

[bobalife]

Like if he really want a relationship and has time? Yeah I probably will need to ask him a few questions about the ending to now and kinda left him on read to think about things…. And I don't know how I feel, but he’s continuing to message me and apologize about his mistake at the time with how he ended things. It’s starting to feel genuine a little, but I don't know. I do value a man who knows how to take accountability because most people can’t and don’t wanna grow. So it’s refreshing.

[Still-alive]

well when you talk with someone there's usually a vibe you get right? so basically im asking if those vibes feel a little different talking to him now? if they do that to me is a sign he's changed or matured perhaps. If not then i would have cautioned you more as whatever led him to end things will likely happen again. this is advice i hear all the time for couples breaking up and possibly getting back together but im sure it works for just dates too. If they feel different through talking to them.

So you're saying he stepped up and too accountability for how he ended things which is a notch in that direction to me. And you also said 'he's totally in a different place now' which is also making me think you may wanna give this another shot too.

but the moment you feel any weird or bad signs lemme know. i can help you with that.

[bobalife]

Well that’s what he said lol. Thanks friend for sharing your perspective!

[Bklynbadboy12]

Nope dont give him a chance until you find out why he did what he did. That a major red flag! Why would you what to be with someone that just bailed on you. That means at any point he could do it again if things dont go the way he wants them too

[msc545]

So if his impulse control is that bad, even on a temporary basis, this is somebody you don't want to be around.

[bobalife]

No idea if it’s about impulse control, but maybe more about relationship readiness and intentions.

[Anonymous]

Give him another shot. He might be worth it.

[Alex-Snow]

Give it a try but be cautious

[bobalife]

Thanks misteruh snow for your advices!