He says he has herpes?

[YourNameHere91]

I’m torn right now. I’ve been talking to this guy for a while, we met through a mutual. I really like him. Today he opened up to me and told me that he has herpes. My response was to tell my history with STIs 🫠 I think I handled it well. Anyway, I don’t want to cut him off because he has herpes on the other hand I don’t wanna catch herpes. I guess I want perspective on what “you” would do if you were in my boat. He’s the sweetest. He also volunteered this information out of the blue BEFORE we were even talking about sex.

[NoDecision]

Herpes is not curable, so it is up to you if you want to take the chance. I heard that as long as they are not having a current episode that it can be safe to have sex. But if they have open sores, all bets are off. Now you can tell if a man is showing signs, but on the female, it is harder to detect. Use your own judgement. But to me, it seems like a person would have to sleep around a lot in order to get it. Are you okay with that?

[YourNameHere91]

I was reading on it. Take daily anti viral (him), use condoms, and avoid days that there are a flare ups. I just don’t know how I feel.

[FreyaRed]

Herpes is pretty common. Are you sure you don't have it as well? Tests often don't show HSV-1 when it's not active but the person is still infected and viruses start to replicate when immune system of this person is weakened (Fiver blisters... etc.)

[YourNameHere91]

I was just tested for everything a couple months ago and came back clean. I’m not judging the guy for having herpes, I’ve had chlamydia twice so I have no horse to sit on. I just don’t wanna catch herpes and then it turns out this relationship busts. You know what I mean?

[FreyaRed]

Most people get herpes without sexual contact. Often mother infects already a child while birth. Using condoms is an option but taking virostatics over years isn't they will damage your health massively and they are expensive.
You have to decide taking the risk of herpes that is in 99% harmless to keep him or you dump him to get a new guy who isn't even aware he has HSV-1 since birth.

[Anonymous]

I'd say bye, and i wouldn't feel the least bit bad.

First off did he already know this? That's trapping you as far as i am concerned.

You're going to feel a lot worse later if his sweetness comes with a lot of other surprises, which is likely.

There are other we omen out there with herpes he can date. Don't feel bad. Your safety should come first.

[YourNameHere91]

We haven’t done anything. We’re taking it slow. Out of the blue he disclosed that he stopped dating cuz he has herpes. We haven’t bumped uglies or even talked about bumping uglies yet. I’m figuring out how I feel about being with someone that has herpes…if I want that.

[Opinion Owner]

I never said you did anything. Look hun i don't really care what you do. You were asking for perspective so i gave you mine. Do whatever you like.👍

[YourNameHere91]

You said he trapped me. I was just clarifying that he didn’t.

[Opinion Owner]

I said, "it was trapping you as far as i'm concerned" subtle difference. As a guy i realize women read this stuff completely different. Did he lead with it? Did he tell you on the first date? No because he wanted you to get to like him before springing this on you. Because you'd be less likely to dump him. And guess what, you are.
Women try this stuff with guys as well, but it doesn't really work. Guys are not lead as easily emotionally. Sexually, but not emotionally.

It's really unfortunate, but you really can't afford to really trust anyone until you've been with someone for a long, long time. And even then people can still surprise you. You never really ever fully know anyone. This is why i say first and foremost you need to protect yourself.

But you don't have to take my advice. 👍 Good luck hun.🙂

[ChicoFromThe305]

Personally this would cut my interest in relationships with the person but that doesn't mean you gotta cut them off or be a dick about it, I'm sure they would understand why someone would lack the interest of sexual attraction when considering the situation

[Iron_Man]

You want a guys perspective my perspective is don’t have sex until you’re married. Problem solved

[omegaman89]

Be honest with him and tell him you don't want to hurt his feelings.

[Nikki1989]

He probably has.

[FrodoSkywalker007]

Yikes