We've been on numerous dates for 2 months. We first kissed on the 3rd date and every date since then, about twice a week. On Saturday we had a full make out session, 5 mins straight and more. We planned to have sex for the first time on Wednesday (2 days from now) but he told me he has a cold sore and kissing would be an issue. He doesn't seem to think it s a big deal, has taken medication and tells me there's a good chance we can still kiss on Wednesday cause he caught it early.
But I'm worried about getting it, I really like him, we're going to be together for a long time. But I'm not sure, should I wait longer til kissing him, does him catching and treating a cold sore early make it so it's not contagious? And also he didn't tell me until now? Not a great move but I don't know what to say to him.
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Ay girl, that's a super sucky situation. But ya gotta put your health first here. The fact he didn't tell you about the cold sores till now is kind of sketch and shows he wasn't being totally honest.
I definitely wouldn't kiss him again til his sores are FULLY healed. Those things are contagious as hell even when they look almost gone. And he could've passed it to you from before and ya might not have symptoms yet. Scary stuff!
If I were you, I'd tell him straight up how you feel - confused why he didn't disclose this risk sooner, and that your trust took a hit. See how he reacts. If he gets defensive, that's not a good sign.
He needs to understand why full disclosure is important, ESPECIALLY about stuff like this that impacts your bodily autonomy. Your health comes first babe!
Maybe give it some more time before getting intimate again. See how responsible he is being now. Don't want no surprise infections, ya feel me? You got this!
I told him how I felt and he apologised for not telling me sooner. He said that because he's had it from when he was young, being kissed by family or drinking from the same glass that he honestly forgot about it until the cold sore came up. He told me that 80% of people have it and I could already just dormant.
It took me a while of explaining to him that I didn't know it was that common and that I would have appreciated being told sooner. Weve agreed not to jiss when we meet up Wednesday and just have a normal date. Im not super educated on it but I assume touching just not orally is completely fine.
*kiss
Aw man, that sucks he didn't tell you sooner. But I guess it's kinda good that he at least apologized and seems to get why you were bugged about it now. And fam, once a girl gets upset you gotta listen, even if you didn't mean anything bad by it ya know?
It's for sure pretty common, but I can see how it'd be a surprise if he never mentioned having it before. At least he's being respectful about not kissing for now though - that shows he cares about not passing it on.
And yeah, just no oral contact and you should be fine otherwise. Maybe look up some more info yourself so you feel more educated on it too. No shame in that.
Really as long as you guys can communicate better from now on, I don't think this has to be a huge dealbreaker. Just keep an eye on how he treats you going forward. If he seems willing to learn from mistakes, that's a good sign. Don't stress too much - you got this!
In life, absolutely nothing is more important than our health. The guy should have told you and given you the choice to make a decision. Your mistake is you are willing to let it slide because you find him attractive. I don't care how hot a woman is, if she put my health at risk in any way, shape or form she would be gone.
This is a huge redflag. I remember a friend of mine caught a cold sore from a guy that didn't tell her. Stop lowering your expectations!
I'm asking him about it now, why he didn't tell me. I don't just find him attractive, it's everything it might be too early to say but I feel like we'll be together for years. I haven't had any symptoms but I'm wondering if I do have it just without symptoms.
STDs is wild