Is my coworker wrong?

[Anonymous]

I developed a deep empathetic crush on a man who was nice to me.. thats honestly how I noticed him because he was nice and always greeted me... I felt a shift after a month and realized that I was attracted to him as a person and how he took care of his parents... he is older and going through a different stage in life and I just thought he was a nice guy who was probably stressed, lonely etc...

I have a new coworker who is cool and loud and

friendly/outgoing... I told her that I'm 29 never had a boyfriend and was really attracted to this nice shy guy and so she kind of tries to break the ice but I notice that he is gravitating towards her after months of trying to build a quiet connection... I'm so easily replaced by anyone whenever something better or shinier comes around and I really thought something would have become of it. I heard that they were laughing and he is usually to himself and parents and she told me he may have a different personality than what's portrayed in the facility (he's not a coworker) but I know men fall for women who make it easier for them

[Anonymous]

It’s possible he got the vibe that you weren’t interested in him in that way. Men tend to like shy girls.

[Asker]

Doesn’t matter.. if he likes her enough he would ask her or not talk to the next shiny thing

[Opinion Owner]

Yes because you know what he’s thinking that’s why you’re asking this question.

[Staximus]

Your job is not a bar where you meet singles. Fooling around with coworkers is a good way to get fired, unless your boss is cool with it

[Asker]

He’s not a coworker

[Staximus]

Well if the guy is there with his parents he’s probably not going to start hitting on girls, especially if he’s shy. Your problem is the whole ““ months of building a quiet connection”. If you want a guy to know you’re interested and he’s oblivious or shy then you need to make the move. What did you do to show him you’re interested besides stand there like a bump on a log or just talk to him? Did you ever touch him, hug him, hold his hand, did you ever ask him for his phone number, did he ever ask you for your phone number, did you ever ask him if he wants to go on a date or hang out with you or go somewhere? If you don’t make something happen, it’s never going to happen, especially if you don’t act interested. The guy is not psychic.

[Nikki1989]

Focus on what you are being paid to do. Not some random dude you work with. Those two worlds should never meet.

[zagor]

Actually I worked at a place where a lot of people wound up together. Sometimes it worked out long-term, sometimes not.

The top manager didn't discourage it because he had met his wife there, though she no longer worked there by the time I started.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes guys don’t notice shy girls. Sucks.

[Asker]

He’s shy himself

[Opinion Owner]

Even shy guys sometimes prefer the outgoing bouncy girl on the relatively rare occasions she’s interested in him first

[Asker]

She wasn’t interested in him first.. she noticed him because I told her I really liked him

[Opinion Owner]

Huh.

[Asker]

What?

[Opinion Owner]

An expression of polite interest

Basically it sucks that your more outgoing friend stole the guy you like, but it’s not uncommon for a shy guy to be overwhelmed by interest from an outgoing girl

[Asker]

Yeah I felt a bit betrayed because she knew what she was doing

[Anonymous]

If you are interested in him, try talking to him a little bit more. This girl is putting herself infront of you.