Is asking out a text-only female friend actually ‘destroying a friendship’ if we’ve never hung out?

[Anonymous]

I’ve seen the advice a million times: “Don’t ask out a female friend, you’ll destroy the friendship.”

But in my case we’re not really friends in the traditional sense. We text, sometimes a lot, but we’ve never hung out in person, never done anything social together, no shared friend group hangouts, nothing. It’s basically just a texting relationship.

So if I ask her out and she’s not interested, what exactly am I destroying? The texting? That can just go back to whatever it was (or fizzle out naturally). There’s no actual IRL friendship or group dynamic on the line.

Curious what people think:

Does the “don’t risk the friendship ” rule still apply when there’s basically no real-world friendship?

Or is this the lowest-stakes version of asking someone out, precisely because there’s not much to lose?

Anyone been in a similar texting-only situation and either asked or got asked?

Appreciate honest takes.

[Oigit]

I wouldn't go as far as even calling it a friendship. I'd say you two where acquaintances using the convenance of texting to talk to each other. Because as you said there was no real connection outside of texting. That and texting just like social media gives people the ability to be completely different people when interacting with outers online vs who they are in real life. So chances are if you did meet them in person they could turn out to be nothing like the person they portrayed themselves to be in those texts.

[MrChinaski]

I can't tell you what to do only what I would do. If I have been texting someone, I know they are a deeply good person and we have some rapport... I'm not going to die wondering about what could have been. I'm the kind of guy that's gotta scratch an itch.

Don't make the mistake of thinking text translates easily IRL. But don't waste your life protecting something pleasant when you have a chance of something amazing.

The number of characters you typed isn't going to be mentioned in your obituary.

My 2c.

[RavVid]

You can meet either non-sexually or sexually when it comes down to it. Like a date is sexual meeting because sex is a possibility if things go well between you.

You could meet non-sexually where you are just avoiding the texting part.

I think you are best initiating as non-sexual to lure her in and then hit on her.

If it doesn't work you avoid useless texting which won't go anywherre.

[AngryCarl3]

With all due respect, you're not good at this are you?

[Nikki1989]

There is no such thing as a 'text-only' friend.

[AngryCarl3]

If your friendship got ruined it wasn't a real friendship.