Shy guys, what goes through your mind when you like a girl?

[Anonymous]

what goes through your mind when you like a girl. what happens when you see her? what goes through your head when you see her? what goes through your head when your not near her? what do you do when you see her?

[fightsystems]

First off why we are shy.

Every guy is different but there can be several reason or a combination of them.

1. He has been hurt in the past or has faced constant rejection despite his efforts.

2. He is not experienced in dating, the older he is the worse this is going to be.

3. It could just be part of his personality. For example I am naturally introverted and it is the way I have always been.

4. There are also different levels of shyness. Some are shy and need to be coaxed through everything. Others (like me) will warm up to you after a while especially if we know that you like us.

If a shy guy likes you here are something he is going to do.

1. He is going to steal glances at you anytime he can. You might catch him staring for a while but if he sees you looking at him he will look away and pretend as if nothing happened.

2. He will "ignore" you. If you talk to him he will probably answer your questions or make brief conversation but will not initiate and may even walk off only a short time after talking. An example might be if you are with a group and stand next to him he will probably not say a word to you but might try to steal glances.

3. He will exhibit the opposite behavior of a non shy guy with respects to most indicators of interest except for looking at you.

5. We might "avoid" you. I once sat two chairs away from this girl I like eventhough the chair next to her was empty.

What to if you like a shy guy

1. The key thing is to be patient if we like you we will come around...Eventually.

2. The more people that are around the worse we are going to be especially among your friends, so if you want to talk to us try to alone.

3. We tend to over think things and will likely not make any move at all if we think you are interested in someone else so don't flirt with others around the shy guy you like.

4. When it comes to initiating things consider being the ones to do so. Some shy guys can and others can't but regardless, chances are they have liked you for quite some time before they are able to.

Things to keep in mind

1. Again patience is key.

2. Any move a shy guy makes or any contact (not necessarily physical) is a big step for a shy guy and took a lot of effort.

3. Remember to be understanding of his situation.

i did not write this. someone else wrote this on girlsaskguys.

[fightsystems]

i think this a very good explanation of shy guys mind. its describes me all in one. I am too shy for my own good. its probably the reason I have always single for 30years.

[heavensgift2girls]

Those are a lot of questions. I am still pretty shy, but not nearly as bad as I use to be. I can say that the answers would depend on how shy the guy is, and how much he likes the girl. I think that to be shy, means that you lack confidence in yourself. So people with a lower self esteem are more likely to be shy, than someone with high self esteem. I will answer the questions, as if I were still at the low point of my life, when I was at my shyest.

What goes through your mind when you like a girl?

I would worry that I am not good enough for her.

What happens when you see her?

I would try and make her smile, or avoid her completely.

What goes through your head when you see her?

I would worry about how fat I was, and think she thought I was disgusting to look at.

What goes through your head when your not near her?

I would miss her.

What do you do when you see her?

I would try to find an excuse to be near her, or talk to her, without looking stupid.

I was an extreme case. I don't think most guys were as bad as I was.

[Asker]

yeah that sounds like my guy. He's very very shy. Even though I told him I like him is it possible for him to still feel like that?

[heavensgift2girls]

Of course. In order for him to change, he has to learn to love himself. That is not something that is done over night. I have been working on learning to love myself, for over a year now. I still have a long way to go. There is also very little information for men, on improving our self esteem. Most of the information is geared toward women, because guys don't ask for help as often. Maybe therapy might be about to help him. Do you think he would be willing to go?

[Asker]

I don't think he would no. I as hoping that if I made him feel comfy enough around me that things will change. He goes through stages, he can go about 3-4 days, holding eye contact with me, talking to me, havin a laugh and flirting, teasing, then the day after he will avoid eye contact, avoid being near me. Its so hard to try and get him to feel comfy but I know its not his fault if he has low self esteem.

[heavensgift2girls]

There is a lot that can cause someone to have self esteem issues. Most of them are not the person's fault. You may be able to help his self esteem in time, but he needs to do some of the work as well.

[Asker]

So is it normal to act all flirty and calm with me one day and then all awkward and avoid me and eye contact the next? I mean does it sound like he likes me? I don't want to go through all this and wait for him if he doesn't like me

[heavensgift2girls]

It depends on what is happening in his life. Maybe he talks to a family member every few days, and that triggers it. Without knowing more about him it is hard to say. I go through times when I have less confidence than others. Normally something happens to trigger it.

[WeaponZero]

Honestly? My mind doesn't deviate at all from the processes that were already going through it. Whether on work, fitness, motorcycles, puzzles, whatever. My emotional processes are affected by her, yes, button the thoughts. Two totally different things. But then I'm not sure if I am what you would call shy. I act that way, but the reason why is totally different from most.

[Anonymous]

Most shyness is due to lack of self esteem. So to answer your question directly its usually: "There's no way that she would ever like someone like me."

Is it possible to be both confident and shy? I don't see how.

[Asker]

i told the guy I like him and he's still pretty unconfident.

[Opinion Owner]

It does not matter if you are at a shy guys house and you're on a date with him.

They still think they you probably don't like them. Either that or they are confused as to why you are there. OR they are in "performance mode" meaning they feel that they are probably not doing the things that you want them to do in order to get you to like them.

[ashyguy501]

this is actually not completely true. I would consider myself shy, especially when confronted with someone I like. However I have good self esteem and I am confident in other areas of my life. I also I have never gone about thinking a girl wouldn't like me...so do go around using a word like most before checking your facts

[Opinion Owner]

Approach anxiety comes fear of rejection, which is actually lack of confidence. If you had confidence that the woman would like you, you would not fear the rejection. A person might have the confidence to drive a car, but that same person might have a lack of confidence about performing brain surgery. But those are confidence in performing an action.

People who have high self esteem do not fear approaching women because they assume the girl will like them.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm a psychologist and I treat people every day.

[lucky24]

i blank out at times

because I'm lost for words :D

[Anonymous]

you are 30 to 35? really? the second I saw this question I thought someone under 18 asked it. Have you not been fond of anyone of the opposite gender? It would be the same if you have.

[Asker]

yes but never been fond of someone so shy. didferent to normal guys

[Opinion Owner]

they think the same as you they just lack self-esteem or are just more quiet people.

[Ryan762]

I get nervous and hope I don't do anything to embarrass myself.