Why do I always get nerds... not jocks?

[Anonymous]

Guys always talk about how easy it is for girls to get guys. Well, not so. I'm thin, athletic, moderately smart and decent enough in the looks department, but the kinds of guys I always seem to attract are guys who are usually nerds. I mean, I suppose it's because of my nerd status at school? (I'm ranked #1 in my class, making me kind of a big nerd). But like, I despise nerdy guys! They're always trying to one-up me and I'm like just stop. Intelligence doesn't need to be a competition.

Anyhoo, my dream guy would be a jock-type guy but none of them are forthcoming. Thoughts why? Should I make myself less nerdy? Initiate conversation with them more?

[mangaka92]

If they're trying to "1-up" you, it could be they feel like they're threatened. I know for a lot of guys, having a girl who's doing better than them in academic achievement is a major blow to their self-confidence.

If you're really interested in my opinion, I'd say don't worry about what social status they hold in the school. Just look for a guy whether he's a jock, a nerd, a prep, or whatever. His "high school" label shouldn't matter to you because it's not going to last, but if you're truly serious about finding a guy, then your relationship will last.

Being someone you're not is the worst thing you could do to yourself. Don't be anyone else other than you. It's a bad idea and you're not only lying to your guy, but you're lying to yourself as well. Do you really want to live the rest of your life with this guy acting in a way that's not normal for you?

Your best bet is to not have a "dream-guy" and just get to know guys. You may even find you end up having feelings for someone whom you didn't think you'd otherwise fall for. I used to be the same way and have my own "dream-girl" idea in my mind and I kind of have things about a girl that I'm attracted to, but I've realized over the years that the smarter thing to do is just be outgoing and open to all people because I may just end up finding the girl I've been looking for all my life without even technically looking for the girl I found specifically. If you haven't found your guy yet, it could be he's hiding somewhere you're not looking and that means just being yourself and getting to know people.

I hope this helps and good luck! =]

[titoloco]

Why do I always get nerds... not jocks? Because Intellect is the kryptonite of Jocks as opposed to nerds who compete with men and women to be the smartest. The problem is in the polarities. You don't want the guy who's always right and also you don't want the guy who doesn't know how to count to more than 3, but can lift all the plates in the gym. You want the middle guy lol. Problem is, if he isn't gay. He's most probably taken.

[titoloco]

Thanks, If you want a jock guy to be attracted to you, you'll have to act dumb. You will have to use your brains in a subtle way called teasing and make him chase after you. Nerdy guys will wait to be chased after before reponding which might take a lifetime depending on the guy, as opposed to a jock who would be more responsive and aggressive in his approach.

Good luck trying to make your jock MONOGAMOUS...They might be genetically predisposed to cheat, so be aware of that.

[MrOracle]

You may find jocks more physically attractive, but many of them aren't especially smart, and many prefer "hot-but-dumb" girls who put out easily and don't make the guy feel dumb. Yes, there ARE some smart jocks too, and maybe you could try those guys, but even they tend to prefer the super-social, cheerleader-types. I think you're more attracted to the IDEA of a jock rather than the reality.

But, go make yourself available to them and find out for yourself.

[Asker]

I guess so. I guess what I'm attracted to is not necessarily a jock, who might be, as you mentioned, not particularly smart, but the idea of being with someone who has a body that's super in shape and probably knows what to do with it. But then again, this is probably me just being whiny and hoping for a guy who's perfect in everything haha.

[TurbulentDan12]

You're probably going to attract the guys you hang around the most. If you don't hang out with the jocks, it's not as likely that they'll go out of their way to hang out with you. And you can't think about attracting guys as a whole. By far the easiest way to go about this is to go after individuals that you're attracted to. And obviously you have to be prevalent in their mind for them to be attracted to you. So try to hang out with the jocks you like more. Or at least hang out around them. It's not about how you act, but who you know.

[gonyr]

we're all nerdy in our own way. that HS bullsh*t about jocks and nerds goes away fast. I've noticed that "jocks" that think they are so great because they are told by their entire HS that they are, tend to never really go anywhere in life because they grow up thinking that theyre at the top of the world, and stop working to earn their way. meanwhile, those "nerds" go on to to good things with their life

[DeepBlue]

Jocks like dumb girls, arm candy basically. Try to find a guy who can't so easily be reduced to a category like "nerd" or "jock". Someone who is well rounded, both intelligent and athletic. Yes, such people do exist.

[Asker]

sadly my high school lacks of that (I go to a small public school with less than 200 students total). But luckily, college next year means that I can look for such well-rounded people

[TheDigitalSaint]

It never hurts to initiate conversation with those whom you are interested in. This applies to both guys and girls.

[Anonymous]

You're not getting them because you;re not making yourself available to them, you're too busy being an actual intelligent person. The nerds probably relate to you more because they think you can actually provide an intelligent conversation.

[Anonymous]

I would just like to make the point that "cliques" such as nerds and jocks are incredibly immature and once you graduate high school you will realize that. Judge guys based on their own individual character, not by their social group.

[G_GTom]

Maybe the jocks don't want you for the reason you don't want the nerdy guys?

[Jager66]

your problem isn't that your not getting guys its that your not getting the guy you want.

[foolycooly1001]

Ask out guys you like.

[toulouse]

there you go.

[Asker]

I'd prefer not to, especially if it might mean I'd become the laughingstock of a group of guys if it turns out I reached way out of my league :/

[Anonymous]

Go talk to them.