Boyfriend of 6 months is not affectionate at all...why?

[amb8807]

I've always been an affectionate person. And in the beginning my boyfriend, Reese, was as well. After we had been dating for 2 months, he became more distant towards me. I honestly can not remember the last time he held my hand, cuddled with me, or even gave me a kiss. We've been dating for 6 months now and we moved things kind of fast because I now live with him. We both have been married and divorced, and both each have 2 kids. So our life is very busy, but on the days we do not have kids it's the same things. No affection. I am not sure if I can handle being in a non-affectionate relationship. We have fought about this & talked about it for the past 4 months. So for the past month I layed off completely, thinking that maybe if I lay off of him and don't push him that he will want to be close to me. This isn't the case. I will even ask him if I can sit by him on the couch, or if I can lay next to him in bed. He always has an excuse such as "I'm too hot" or "I just got comfortable". It really bothers me that he doesn't kiss me EVER. We have a good sex life, usually having sex at LEAST once a day and always initiated by me. Sometimes he rejects me though. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong, as I take care of all four kids on my own when we have all of them, and I keep the house clean by myself and never ask him to do a thing. I'm not really sure what to do. He says he loves me, but I really don't know anymore. I feel more like his friend than his girlfriend. It's starting to really get me down, and he knows this but still refuses to be affectionate. What is going on with him? I know he isn't stressed...he has a great job and makes a lot of money, so that's not an issue.

Updates

+1 y

His thing is that he works & pays all the bills so I owe it to him to keep the house clean, take care of kids, etc. I am going to school to become a nurse but as of right now it's impossible for me to work full-time, go to school full-time & be a mom full-time. I feel bad saying I won't do everything for him because he thinks I owe it to him because he pays the bills.

[norcali]

You should be #1 in his world, and if he is half of a Man you wouldn't be asking. sex once a day (give or take) is healthy and for you to come on here and ask makes me want to say “Lose this guy before you have a child together” . You sound like a awesome girl, and I think girls who have kids think single guys w/o children are not interested when honestly You meet a catch of a girl, so what she has kids from a prior marrage that should be a plus if your not looking for a “Fling” because she is settled down, and as you said “at home to give him a kiss at 5pm”. Find a “Good Guy” not a “Bad Guy”.

[DeepBlue]

This guy has it so good that he has become complacent. Stop giving him everything he wants when you aren't getting what you need out of the relationship. He needs to be aware of how his selfishness is effecting you and if he doesn't change you need to change your behavior towards him.

[DeepBlue]

Beware the scenario where you feel obligated to a partner because they pay the bills, especially if they like to point this fact out. I hate to say it but it's often a precursor to abuse.

[amb8807]

That actually makes a lot of sense to me. He tries to 'play around' with me a lot by jokingly hitting, pinching or kicking, but often leaving a bruise or mark. He says he's just 'wrestling' or joking with me...

[DeepBlue]

Hmm, that is a little worrying but he might just be playing around. If you tell him to stop doing that and he doesn't you may have a problem on your hands. The next step would be using violence or the threat of violence to get you to do what he wants. I really hope it is not the case that he is abusive but I think you need to be careful and familiarize yourself with the warning signs.

[amb8807]

I agree. I have told him he doesn't know his own strength and it hurts, but he thinks it's funny. I could never ever picture him as abusive, but the more he 'plays around' with me, the more I think he's not really playing.

[dinedine]

uh-oh.. I agree with alexstorm. He's just using you. He's taking you for granted. Wake up. If you can live that way of life, then go on, but if you cant, don't pretend that you don't know that the guy is not anymore inlove with you. ..

[alexstorm]

He already got what he wanted, babysitter, maid and mistress. Congratulations on your new job. If you want it to be more for your needs, lay down the law. You have to be ready to end it if you want real change. Men tend to often try to get things exactly how they want them and unless the relationship is on the block, don't expect him to change.

[antonlikesmlb]

Tell Reese that you are going to be friends instead of lovers if he doesn't shape up.

[Anonymous]

Your hot