Why is my boyfriend not as affectionate anymore?

[Anonymous]

So I've been dating my boyfriend for just over a year now. In the beginning of the relationship he used to be so loving and affectionate and all that. He used to piggyback me, kiss me, hold me and ultimately want me in all aspects. Now i feel like he's so distant. He never cuddles or holds me unless i ask him to. He doesn't kiss me or compliment me anymore. He used to make me feel so good about myself and he used to treat me like he never wanted to lose me. But he doesn't treat me that way anymore. He isn't rude to me or anything but he acts as if I'm more of a friend to him Han a girlfriend and to be honest it hurts so badly because he used to be 'all over me' and would be the sweetest to me. Now he spends all his time studying and going out with his friends (which he never invites me to). I also haven't met his friends. Only one. ONE. He's met almost all my friends. He always tells me i have nothing to worry about when i ask if he's speaking to other girls... but yet he doesn't ever let me have his phone because it's always stuck to him. He never replies to my messages promptly even if he's been online. Basically I'm super worried and i have no idea what to think or do... could really use some advice or opinions.

[Darlynne]

It seems that you've just passed the honeymoon phase of your relationship. To sum it up, it happens in the beginning of new relationships when the two will be very lovey-dovey and very affectionate towards each other. After a while, it wears off simply because it's very exhausting to keep on surprising your SO with romantic gifts, or trying to earn all their attention.

After it wears off, the guys generally become more comfortable and begin living life as if it were before. This is the time when they can relax because they've put in all their effort and it looks like you're here to stay. They can go see their friends again and focus on their responsibilities in life. However, a lot of girls tend to get frustrated during the beginning of this because they feel like they're unloved or ignored by the guy that used to smother them with love, and ironically, leave the guy. This is because the guy tends to become overly-comfortable because of all the hard work they've done during the honeymoon phase.

I'm here to tell you that it's normal for this to happen in relationships that have continued for more than a year. It usually comes as a shock to girls because of his complete 180 in attitude, but don't be worried. If you're upset that he's ignoring you, just remind him that you would appreciate it if he showed you a little bit of affection here and then or did something romantic. Now is also the time for you to be showing your affection towards him by doing nice things for him. I'm sure that he would appreciate it.

[qwertyKitchen]

This! Sometimes it's the other way around, too. But, this!

[samhradh_leannan]

It's normal for the excitement in a relationship to calm down a little after the honeymoon period is over- once you both feel accustomed to each other and settled in the relationship. However, this sounds like much more than that- he's making no effort whatsoever to prioritize his relationship with you or to keep the romantic spark alive. Either he's losing interest in the relationship, or he doesn't understand that you must put energy into a relationship in order to maintain it. You'll have to figure out which it is.

I think the best thing you can do is be frank about what's going on. If he's getting everything he needs and isn't worried about losing you, then he may not understand that there's a problem. Explain to him that your relationship has changed, and that it makes you unhappy. Be clear, yet tactful, and avoid making accusations- simply describe the situation in neutral terms and let him know how it makes you feel. Ask him to work with you and compromise to improve your relationship so that both of you can feel happy and enjoy that romantic spark again. If he's not willing to make an effort to please you, or refuses to acknowledge that there's a problem, then you may be better off ending the relationship and finding a different partner who will meet your needs better.

[Anonymous]

Have you asked what's changed? Or if you can meet his friends?
Maybe he's less affectionate as he's stressed...

[FeelingUnloved7]

Not an opinion but I'm in the same boat right now. 9 months together, Porn addicted, refusing sex from me.

[Onthesc]

Perhaps you need to tell him how bad this is making you feel and if he doesn't really want to be with
You anymore then he needs to tell you so you can move on with your life. For you personally start getting on with things that don't involve him go out with your mates and start enjoying yourself and if he can't put you first then start sticking him on the back burner too.
As for his fone that is a bit worrying because it sounds like there are things on their he doesn't want you to see and that's why it doesn't leave his side so have a chat with him and try to get everything out in the open

[Rdzivan98]

It's a thing that happens "The honeymoon stage". This why you can't hangout, talk, or even text every day. There is nothing spicy happening in your life. You have to make him miss you and need you to the point where he would do anything for you. Shoe he him that he can lose you try to make him jealous act like your not trying. Add some mystery to yourself. If he's hanging out with friends you go hang out with your friends don't start feeling sorry for yourself you have take more control of the relationship.

[UnderlyDedicated]

Definitely don't nag him on this issue. Or any issue. Wow him. Make him want to make you feel special. Most people go that extra mile because they are impressed by a person. Well impress him. Go hard. If it doesn't change then talk to him about it then try going hard again. If it still doesn't change move on. You have needs.

[McCurious]

Hmmmm. I can't really say for sure, but I think your concerns are probably justified. At the very least you can ask him in plain English to give you more affection, and that you need it and miss it (In fact I had to say this to my wife the other day). But his behaviour seems incredibly distant for someone you've been dating for a year.

[BravoHawk]

Its because your a leach. He did all the work and you took everything. Now he is moving on to the next customer because you offer nothing and only take. So he might as well provide service for another

[AlwaysBelieving]

Have you done anything different?

[Anonymous]

because he found someone better

[foesmoes]

how is sex?