She pushes my hand away why when I try to reach up her leg

[batusi]

we've been dating for 6 mths, she is 27 I am 28. we have never kissed or touched anyone until recently. we were in the cinema and she enjoys kissing me and me feeling her boobs, I like rubbing her inner thighs and moving further up but after a short while she pushes away by hand when I try to reach in for her crotch area. This is done over her jeans however. why does she push away my hand?

Updates

+1 y

how do I know if she likes it. I want to really turn her on, maybe she likes it a lot.. I don't want to stop doing it and deprive her from enjoyment

Updates

+1 y

wow so many responses.. OK so she let me do the same in the car without problem. maybe cinema was too public. I asked, she said she liked it, so a lot of you guys were wrong. it is always best to ask the girl yourself if you are not sure.

[Anonymous]

She wants you to stop. Maybe you have to make a point of not going that far. If she actually desires you, and her hangups aren't too severe, then by holding back a little will probably cause her to want it more, and eventually you can get past whatever the barrier is.

That said, respecting boundaries is one thing, but it sounds like you've been dating someone for *six months* with the expectation of sex (quite reasonable), and it just hasn't happened. She's not being fair to you. If you aren't both consciously waiting for some future date, and she isn't ready, you need to understand that she's had way, way, way more time than most people need to get comfortable with another person, to say nothing of the 15 or so years she had before meeting you.

Unfortunately, as a very late bloomer, I'm speaking from experience: having waited this long yourself, you have an uphill battle in front of you. It takes a while to get over the anxiety surrounding sex, and then you have to spend time getting good at it. On the surface it seems like someone who's going through the same things as you is a valuable find because you can get through it together. But it's also possible that throwing another person into the mix who, for one reason another, managed to make it to late adulthood without having sex, is going to further complicate everything.

There are many women out there who will like you for you, and the good ones, when you tell them you are inexperienced, will say, "then let's fix that."

[toulouse]

@ she's had way, way, way more time than most people need to get comfortable with another person,

#1 bullsh*t. everyone is different. if he can't respect that he can move on. she's not being unfair.

#2. he has not TALKED. she's not being unreasonable, nor is he being reasonable. there's been no DISCUSSION.

#3 'late bloome' ill give you a tip. everyone is different.,. if you don't discuss your needs openly its no ones fault but yours.

#4. in relationship accountability is WAY more valuable then luck.

[Robotic]

Why is it all up to him to talk to her toulouse? like that's all his responsibility?

[Opinion Owner]

I disagree; I think it's unfair to withhold sex for that length of time. I am willing to bet that this is something they've talked about, given how long they've dated, but actions speak louder than words anyway. She has every right to wait but not to make another person wait. I was also trying to impress upon him that waiting brings its own problems. The personal shot was cheap and really had nothing to do with what I posted so I'm not sure what the point of it was.

[bengi]

ur a jerk... everything you said is bullsh*t... if you really love someone then you wait for sex... sex is a bonus in a relationship...

[Opinion Owner]

I misread the question. They seem sexually active. But if not, how am I wrong for saying 6 months is a long time to date without physical intimacy? If it works for a couple, then that's great, but it's longer than usual.

I've been on her end of it; I've waited and shied away. It's grounds for dumping. Guys rarely get to say wait, because there's more in line who started early & are more confident.

Still, I dream of living in a world where one could go at their own pace & not be judged.

[martyfellow]

She's not that kind of girl. Yoou can only feel her up in public to a limited extent.

All girls have their standards, you know, their rules for public and pubic behavior.

[rubyjeanculyer]

best answer. short, to the point, and not insulting

[martyfellow]

Thaks for the compliemtn rubyjean! I agree!

[martyfellow]

Best Answer! She has rules about public behavior..in the car, it's private...

[toulouse]

shes pushing your hand away because she FOES NOT LIKE IT. are you serious when you say she may like it a lot and you don't want t take away her enjoyment?

why would she push your hand away if she liked it. do you equally think she doesn't like you touching her on the places you don't get shoved away from?

seriously you can't be honest here. why would she push you away if she likes it. can you really think about this. if you can not think about it seriously you should break up with her. because your attitude is getting dangerously close to no means yes , then rape.

also if you really want to know you should ask her. not us, why aren't you having this conversation with her.

you guys are in your late twenties and touching. if you can touch you can talk. so talk. and stop doing anything she rejects. if you want to know if you're reading her obvious rejection correctly as a REJECTION. then ASK.

btw PORN does not accurately depict respectful relationship conduct.

so if you're using it as a guide for what Women will want., try dating Men instead. its mostly made for Mens fantasies. not Womens desires.

not that Women don't like watching good quality sex. but p*rn is generally not good quality, its glorified rape.

would _you_ push someone away from doing something you _wanted_ them to do?

[toulouse]

DOES NOT* (not foes not)

[BrighteyedAsh]

Hear hear! Lol that alarmed me to, like he thinks he's gifting her and doesn't want that silly 'no' to deprive her of a good d***ing.

[bengi]

spot on :))

[tomfeltonforever]

I disagree with the people saying that you sound like you want to rape her. You actually DO want her to feel good, which is nice of you, I guess. There's a plethora of reasons why she doesn't want you to venture down into her nether regions. Firstly, you're doing this all in a public place. I don't even like making out in a public place. I feel like it's not the classiest thing to do. Also, she may not be ready for that in general. Don't pressure her to do something she doesn't want to even if you're positive that you know what you're doing: either discuss when she wants to do more with you and wait or stop seeing her. If she is 27 and has been seeing you for 6 months, it may sound peculiar that she doesn't want to do any of these things. Perhaps she was sexually assaulted, raped, abused, slut-shamed, or told that women were supposed to stay "pure" and "not ruined" by religion, society, or someone of authority. This can all be settled if you communicate with her! Good luck.

[SunshineAmy]

"How do I know if she likes it...maybe she likes it a lot"

I can assure you she doesn't. She's pushing you away and therefore you need to stop. Maybe she isn't comfortable because you're both in a public space? Maybe she just isn't ready for that. We aren't her so we can't say. You need to talk to her about this. You're both in a relationship and to have a good sexual relationship you need to be open about what you both like. Just ask her, and not just about this, about everything. Consent is everything.

[toulouse]

Exactly^

[marcusbrown]

guys are in charge girls consent is meaningless in a relationship.

[SunshineAmy]

Oh right, sorry marcus. I forgot that as a woman I'm insignificant and irrelevant. I'll go back to the kitchen now...

[toulouse]

@guys are in charge girls consent is meaningless in a relationship.______how does it feel.. being a coward?

[bengi]

Marcus you sound like a jerk.. a woman has the same rights as a male inside and outside a relationship...no from a woman means no...otherwise its rape you moron...

[SoftlySpoken]

I had a guy I was seeing do that when we were in the car, or at the casino, or wherever. I personally think its pretty tacky. I'm assuming you tow haven't had sex yet? of that's so then yes she's pushing your hand away because she doesn't want you to do that.

Personally I think its tacky and not much of a gentlemanly thing to do, and its a real turn off when the guy keeps trying to do it even though youve pushed him away.

[Hidden_P]

Because she doesn't want you to or feels uncomfortable.

Do it somewhere private. Ask her if she's OK with it as you do it. It shows you as considerate to her feelings, she's more likely to open up to you and if she says no you can find out the reason.

[kia58]

It's called boundaries. She might not want to have sex with you, so letting you touch her there would be counterproductive, except for the purpose of pleasure, which is intended to be refrained from in the first place. Ask her when she plans on having sex with you.

[kia58]

I meant ask if she is waiting for marriage.

[RedSmartie]

Where are you when you try that? Because if it's in public (even in a darkened theater or similar situations), then she's pushing you away because she's embarrassed and doesn't want to look like a slut.

If it's in private, she is probably not ready or she thinks that the two of you are going too fast. Or she's shy.

[harveykinkle]

Well, as I am a self respecting lady I wouldn't let anyone bang me in a theatre... Maybe that's it.

You need to respect that and not do it. Maybe she just wants to do that stuff in private where it should be done.

As the potential person sitting next to you, I don't want to see that!

[Arwens-Fire]

Its probable that she is not willing for you to cross that boundry just yet.Usually when guys get to touch the southern region,its welcoming the probability of sex in the very near future.It doesn't seem like she is ready for that.

[Arwens-Fire]

@Update:

If she is pushing you away,CLEARLY she is uncomfortable.

[Arwens-Fire]

Boundarie*

[Arwens-Fire]

@Update:

...whatever.

[kittyhoney]

I think its more likely that she did want that at the moment. You could bring in up and ask her nicely if she likes it after the incident.

Another thing is how she push your hand away, was she shyly moving your hand away or really push your hand away rather firmly?

[emzy-89]

If she's pushing your hand away she's obviously not enjoying it so I don't know where you're getting that from.

It's obvious she's not ready for that sort of contact and you should have enough respect for for to stop doing it, this is one of those situations which could get out of hand very very quickly.

[Anonymous]

well I wouldn't want that in a public theater either...theres a time and place for getting that intimate and its behind closed doors lol

she could be shy and not that experienced sexually

could be also that she's waiting till marriage? doesn't wanna rush it or go too far?

[fefe884]

Last time I checked, people push hands away when they disapprove of whatever the hand is doing...respect that.

[SteelyMcBeam]

1. Congratulations on getting a girlfriend

2. Why is your age different from your profile age range?

3. So how did you guys meet? Any tips?

[LightUp]

The world needs more people like you

And no I'm not trying to be sarcastic

[Auraann]

She might be shy and have body issues . Honestly talk to her about it openly , it is OK to do that. She ll explain her self to you. Always remember communication

[shyblondie]

She doesn't want you to do something like that in the theater. You should always start out doing things like that in a private place not somewhere public.

[rougecerise]

This is something you should talk to her about. Women are complex and what one woman might think is the correct answer, your girl could think is totally bonkers.

Be open and honest and your relationship will go far.

Good Luck!

[Prof_Don]

She simply wasn't comfortable being THAT sexual in public. Going for the crotch was crossing her boundary for that situation.

At least know you learned something about her! :-D

[missymarkath]

honestly I would just talk to her about it.

ask her what her fears are or what it is she wants.

after 6 months of being with someone I don't feel like that is normal.

[Anonymous]

... she clearly just doesn't want you to go near her down there in a public area.. I wouldn't like that even in a club. its not that she's not into you, she prob just doesn't want to seem like a slut, id be the same

[Anonymous]

I do not believe you are 28, because you could not be that clueless at that your age not to know that when a woman pushes your hand away that means she doesn't want it.

[bengi]

she has boundaries or she might be still a virgin...

[Anonymous]

Obviously because it's inappropriate contact. That's more than just "reaching up her leg." She's probably a virgin and used to smacking the guy's hand away.

[nahiyana20]

well if she pushes away your hand that's a clear sign that she doesn't like it.if you want to turn her on or make her feel good try doing something else

[Anonymous]

she might have been on her period or it could of just been a case of she wasn't ready to go that far. either way you have no choice but to deal with it

[Anonymous]

act decnt in public..no gal wants to be xposed in public

[marcusbrown]

i like slapping girls butt in public.

[shyblondie]

If it is best to ask the girl about the problem then why did you post on gag asking for advise?

[Purplerockheart17]

Well if she is pushing your hand away I would assume that she doesn't like it.Also you need to learn to respect the boundaries she has maybe she just isn't ready for that yet.

[Anonymous]

Crotching out when she is trying to watch a movie is annoying.

[Anonymous]

too much for in the theater.. what's next, under the jeans? Just enjoy the movie!

[Anonymous]

dont try anything in a movie theater. if you want to try something like that watch a movie at your place and try it

[TangerineFire1]

Pick a better time, not in the movie theatre.

[justme20]

not ready for that yet so you should stop

[Anonymous]

she has a cock.

[Anonymous]

She's not ready for that yet.

[6Paul11]

Ask her.