He doesn't care if I date other guys?

We've been seeing each other for only about a month, so I know it's bit early for both of us to talk about 'commitment'.

But we both been seeing only each other, regularly few times a week, and we are sexually active. we act like a couple, it just without commitment.

He even said that he likes me, he cares me, and he's working on this relationship.. He's been the one acting more emotionally, I wasn't really open about my feeling because I was afraid..

and he always told me that hurt him when I didn't say I missed him back or I like him.

I thought he pretty much wants to be officially exclusive, so last night I asked him if he's been dating other girls, which he claimed not and he asked me if I have, I said no. I asked him he minds if I date other guys, and he said he doesn't care as long as I see him.

I thought he's going to say he does care if I'm dating other guys.. He gets extremly jealous though when guys text me..and he is so insecure that he thinks I like this other guy, and when I tell him I need to go home early or tell him I can't meet him up today, he always asks me if I'm going out on a date.

he even gets crazy when I don't text him back.

It's just sad that he doesn't care about me seeing other guys..

Maybe we're not in any label yet and that's why..?

what do you guys think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he has commitment issues. he wants all the benefits of a relationshipw without the commitment. you want a commitment but give him all the benefits of a relationship without him being commited to you

    if I like a girl I don't tell her it's cool if she see other guys unless I myself am going to see other girls...That is the main thing you need to keep in mind. NO guy, unless he is turned on by you being with other guys, will say "sure go out and see other guys" unless he himself is looking to see other girls

    It's funny you say it's too early to discuss commitment but not too early for a sexual relationship. If you like this guy and you want him to yourself you need to have the commitment conversation. Make it clear that you want to be with him and him alone and see what he says...although be prepared for him to retreat once he realizes you want some sort of commitment.

    • Sorry to hijack the question, I was looking up if a guy tells you to date other guys and stumble onto here.. What if you are dating your ex again, which there was no time apart. Basically you are together again the only difference is you don't sleep with each other and without the boyfriend title... he still pick you up and drop you off and pay for dates? And the guy I'm talking about does have commitment issue and he purchased a self help book about it and is slowly reading

    • Show All
    • have you asked him at all about his feelings? about why certain aspects of the relationship have changed... like the physical stuff

    • Hello. When he first broke up with me he did suggest friendship and asked me not to cut him out. I feel like the romantic aspect is still here as he made effort to text me happy new year and Merry Christmas at 12 am he also voluntarily came to airport to pick me up when I'm back.

      I asked why we broke up he honks we clash even in the perfect girlfriend.

      shall we move to the questions and comment there? Just so i don't keep hijacking the OP. Thanks!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • He does care, he's just saying that so he doesn't sound to needy and he doesn't want to spoil anything you both already have, so really, you should tell him that you don't want to date other guys, you just want to date him, see if he takes the chance in making you and him exclusive. You really need to let him know what you want, otherwise this will start to fall at the seems and finish badly,x

  • If he said he doesn't care that you see or date other guys, he basically shot him self in a foot. If he doesn't care if you date other guys, that means he is NOT willing to work on relationship, meaning improving him self in any field to keep you interested, make you feel protected ( not with muscles lol, psychological protection and trust that he obviously doesn't have ) You chose a tough guy who doesn't know how to control him self and my guess would be both emotionally and physically

  • You're f***ing with his emotions, and you don't even care. You won't tell him you like him, or that you miss him. You know he gets jealous, but you don't care about contacting other guys while you are with him. You probably give lame excuses about why you need to go home early and can't see him. Then when you begin talking about commitment, you ask him if it's okay if you date other guys. That's f***ed up. Do you not see that? You are totally playing him.


What Girls Said 3

  • From reading what you wrote...

    He does care...

    But he thinks if he tries to hold you to just him, he will lose you...

    He is hoping that in sharing you now, he will win you later..

    Or at least get some right now rather then losing you outright.

    Do you want to date other people?

    • This is it exactly. He has learned that if he holds on too tight, he drives girls away, so he's telling you what he thinks you want to hear.

  • I think this guy is confused. If he is so possessive and jealous and attention-seeking, why wouldn't he mind if you saw other guys? Give it time and get to know him before you take things any further...

    • Also, some guys will say you "can" do things to test you. I hope that's not the case for you.

  • He cares he just doesn't want to feel less of a man and because of his ego he says No, he doesn't mind if you do. Action speaks louder than words