Am I being too pushy with a FWB?

[Anonymous]

a guy and I went from hooking up (but not all the way) drunk to doing stuff like that sober to serious flirting and him always starting to cuddle me and stuff. we are good friends so I see him quite a lot, and today we actually drove 10 hours in the same car with his cousin and I got to know his family.

anyways after the first time he kind of labelled it as fun, and he used this word to describe it again a few nights again when he went over to visit my dorm room and we alept in the same bed. I was with him agai tonight and we started cuddling and he started to kiss me and asked me whether I wanted to stay the night. I said I was not sure and decided on my own that I would go home.

as he brought me to the door he said it was a pity I did not stay and I just uttered that as long as it was just "fun" I could not do more. he just said yeah he gets it and then I just went.

do you think I pushed him into something? I mean I'm starting to fall for him and I just don't want to risk getting hurt, but should I told him that more sensetively? or was it right to react that way considering we never really talked about us yet and him saying it was fun to our first hookup? I mean that was kind of rude, or that's what I felt...

Updates

+1 y

hey, thanks for your input! actually, a day has passed since and I spent last night with him and his cousin again, since we are all good friends. as soon as se were alone, he actually started to task me what we should do, considering he is going to the military in 3 weeks and I leave for my 4th semester in 4 weeks... but it is really complicated and now we decided that we are going to try it... so, I never thought it would work out that quickly, but I'm quite glad he feels the same :-)

[wagnerrochawr9]

I don't think you're being to pushy at all. But in my opinion, I think you should hint that you are starting to like him (if you wanna be with him), because he might like you a lot also and the only reason he's not showing it and called your situation as "fun" is because he himself might be afraid of getting hurt as well. Or he might not wanna seem the fool. I think that if you like this guy you should hint it, but don't come out completely as he might not feel the same way.. You gotta also look at the way he acts with you, not many guys like cuddling without actually feeling something for a girl so that might mean something significant. But I don't know babe, its up to you! if you like him hint it but don't overdo it! in case the signals have been mixed up! ha ha

.WR9.

[Asker]

so saying "as long as it is just fun I can't go further" did not cut it yet? :-P I'm so bad at telling guys my feelings! what do you think he thought of it? I mean, I really said it in a BTW kind of way, he probably did not even get it.. but otherwise, thanks a lot for your answer! really calming and reassuring somehow..

[Racez]

Not really. You're just FWB so you tend to make things just fun and not putting anything more into it.

[ya_ya_ask_already]

Are you being too pushy with him? No, not at all. Instead it was brilliant. I gave your question a five star rating because I loved your reaction to him. You're not being pushy, you're being savvy and smart. I say trust your instinct on this because it is currently leading you in the right direction. You are falling for him & you know you want more than fun. Yet it seems that all he wants is fun. With your remark, you let him know your looking for a something more then just a fun fling. And he didn't reciprocate, he just said he understood. Go girl! Stand your ground and make it known what you want and need.

[Asker]

haha thanks! that's kind of why I said this, I did not really want him to feel like every time he wanted me I was available.. buy sadly I'm not really that independent cause I am really scared that was it!

[wagnerrochawr9]

I'm real glad I could help ha ha <3 Wish you two the best <3

.WR9.

[Asker]

thanks again! :) :)