Communication with FB-am I being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

I went out with and hooked up with a guy a couple times back in August. For various reasons we haven’t been together since. He tends to text at the last minute or set a potential day but then wait until the second half of said day to respond about a time. This is especially frustrating because I’m over an hour away, and I don’t live alone so I go his way. He reached out to me in mid November but it was short notice and I was busy. I asked about the next weekend (Thanksgiving weekend); he said Sunday but when Sunday morning came he couldn’t say for sure. At 3 PM he texted saying let’s do dinner. Too late, I’d got sick of waiting and made plans. Then he was out of town until last Sunday. He texted me last Sunday at 6 PM asking if I wanted To come over. I said I was with friends and couldn’t. At 9 PM I was back home so he offered to send me an uber since I’d been drinking. I declined and texted him the next day saying we should make plans. He waited until evening to reply and told me to come over. At that point I was busy again and said with Christmas stuff and people being in town, things are too hectic but I’d be free next (this) weekend and I’d love to do something then. He didn’t reply. Yesterday morning I texted asking if he wanted to do something this weekend. No reply. This morning I texted Saying I was trying to make plans for today and wanted to check with him first. Still no reply. Id like to give him until noon and then say screw it. No one is that busy that you can’t communicate. I know we’re just fuck buddies but I’m getting annoyed. Am I wrong to expect some sort of communication and plans being made ahead of time?

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, you're definitely not being unreasonable here. That dude's communication is straight up wack. Like, who just drops plans last minute like that? And then takes forever to even respond to your texts? That's not cool at all.

You're trying to make plans and fit him into your schedule, which is totally fair. But he seems to be super flaky and inconsistent with his communication. Even if you two are just hooking up, he should still have the basic courtesy to give you a heads up and make solid plans.

I get that life can get busy, but come on, we all have time to send a quick text back. He's leaving you hanging, and that's not okay. You deserve better than that, girl.

I think you're handling this really well by trying to make concrete plans and then giving him a reasonable timeframe to respond. If he's still ghosting you by noon, then yeah, I'd say screw it. You've made the effort, and he's the one dropping the ball.

Don't feel bad about putting your foot down here. You're being totally reasonable in your expectations for communication and follow-through. If he can't step up, then he doesn't deserve your time and energy. There are plenty of other guys out there who will treat you right.

Stay strong, girl. You got this. Don't settle for anything less than what you deserve. If this dude can't meet your needs, then it's his loss. Keep your head up, and don't be afraid to move on to someone who will appreciate you.

[Asker]

Thank you very much for the reply! It’s helpful to hear another perspective. I know casual things like this don’t have rules but I still felt like it was reasonable to want to make plans and get responses in a reasonable time. He was super nice each time I saw him and spent a lot on nice dinners, which I appreciate, so I was trying to be more lenient with his communication. Having everything be on his terms was getting annoying though.

He did get back to me shortly after I posted this saying he’s out of town. He’s not (we never unmatched on bumble so I can see his location), so I assume He hooked up with someone else and that was just the easier excuse for delaying things with me. He’s obviously allowed to do that, I just Want the last minute invites to stop!

[jahaims]

Don't expect anything from a guy after you let him use you as a cum rag.

[Flower7]

Sounds like he was juggling women and you were not the only one that he was trying to put on his schedule. Now that he’s not responding at all, it seems that he has lost interest completely.

[PepperJackson]

Take a hint.

[Asker]

He’s the one who contacted me last week and wanted to send an uber to drive me over an hour

[PepperJackson]

He obviously changed his mind. Shit happens.