Why do independent high strung business women complain about not being able to find a good man?

[Anonymous]

I've dated around here, and there. Seeing many different aspects, and wants from life. I've also lived in a few metropolitan cities.

My question truly comes down to this. Why are women who fancy themselves within the business world, and are highly independent(nothing wrong with it). Strive amongst the idea that they can't find a good man to settle down with? I'm not against feminism what so ever, but it seems that a few women who want to "fight the man" per-say. Truly want to be outgoing, and yet forget to see what it takes to be in a relationship.

From the point of view from my friends in Washington D.C. have said, "It's easier to stay single. Then to go out, and try to truly date a D.C. girl." I may be wrong in the idea that it's men that should change in this aspect, but I don't yet see the promise of it all.

I've seen many marriages in situations like this, and all have ended in divorce. Is it the idea that we as a whole lose sight of what the business world is really like? That we want to become apart of something that is possibly bigger than us, but yet we forfeit the idea of what we're really here for?

[washize]

Same reason why some men complain about not being able to find a good woman.

They aren't able to do any self analysis to see why they are single.

I've met a few women like this, and the reality is, that most of them ENJOY being single. They enjoy the single life, the casual sex, est. I met one older woman who used the "no good men" line all the time, when complaining about being single. However, she did meet a wonderful guy who met every requirement on her list. She sabotaged the HELL out of that relationship. She didn't want to do much of anything couply, she was annoyed when he would text her, everything he did, and asked of her annoyed her. The problem was HER. She didn't enjoy dating, or being in relationships. She liked being single. Now would she ever admit that to herself, or to other people? No, I doubt it.

There is two types of these WOE is me singletons. Type1 is the person who is damaged and can't see their own repulsive flaws if they drowned in them. Type 2 is the person who blames being single on other issues they aren't willing to admit, or don't want to be ostracized for. (example being- A man/woman who is gay but doesn't want to admit it, a man/woman who doesn't want to date or get married.)

At the end of the day There are always going to be men and women who blame their singlehood on everyone ELSE but themselves. They seem to think they're perfect little angles with no flaws and a partner is just supposed to fall at their feet.

[justincider]

You get it...

[Asker]

bingo!

[Anonymous]

Because they have really high standards or a very demanding schedual and they want a guy who can keep up with her. If she can't find a guy who can meet her requiremetns then she doesn't want any guy at all. It's either all or nothing, because usually a lot of high strung business women are picky, and they want a man on their level or above, (not all, but some in general) and if the man is not on her level, then the relationship won't last very long. She wants to feel secure and like she won't be the one always picking up the tab in every situation. Also when the time comes to have a family, she wants to feel confident that the man can take care of family finances, bills, school supplies, food etc., and be able to take care of the children as well as her, and that she won't be stuck doing everything. And when she feels like the man can't provide or won't be able to provide all of those things, like I said the relationship doesn't last too long. So then the woman ends up with no man, and in many cases the woman can be without a man for a long or short period of time but depending on the length of time, she can begin to feel lonely because of her high standards and pickiness, which makes her complain about not having found a good man. And it's not so much as finding a good man, but a man that's on her level, based on the things I've witnessed.

[Anonymous]

Your question is sort of confusing but I think I catch your drift. I think it's great for everyone to go for what they want, so if you want to work your life away because that's what you love, go for it. The thing is, you can't have it all. Women who are independant and work these high power jobs, take on a position of not needing a man. Sure, it'd be nice to have one around, someone to be with, but they don't NEED a man. They also don't want to take time away from their busy schedules to give to this man. It just so happens that men desire to be needed, to have a woman who puts him first, gives him time, peace, love and a happy refuge in a home. He doesn't care about her great job, he just wants HER. Most men prefer to be the breadwinner, so when the woman can 'take care of herself' and flaunts that 'I don't need you' attitude, it's a major turn off for the guy. I think that's why these type of women have issues finding men. It's not that they aren't great women, it's that they aren't great at relating to men, nor do they understand what the typical man desires in a woman.

[Sexdelight]

This just proves that greed gets you nowhere. If you want the money and the fame then love is sacrificed. You can't have your cake and eat it too. More and more people want the rich lavish lifestyle but can't handle the fact that they're too busy to find their ideal partner. Newsflash everybody, if you want true love then drop everything and forget about your overbearing wealth needs and spend some time living life the way life should be lived. You got to make time if you want to find love and you got make time if you want to keep love. If you're too busy making all that money then the truth is you're never going to find real love. It all comes down to money or love. Which one is it for you?

[aMuse]

People that center their life around money generally are selfish. They want everything their way, and want to give nothing back. That leads to a bad attitude in a relationship. Guys won't accept that kind of attitude. Girls generally will accept that attitude if he has enough money.

[Asker]

Thank you for your answer. This will more than likely be chosen as the best answer. Due to the fact that it is the more realistic answer to my question.

[TasteofGrace]

I think that women like that have standards that are extremely high, and in some cases unrealistic for a handful of men to possess. They feel that they deserve a top notch, top quality man for being successful and sometimes they don't. Being successful and making it to six figures doesn't mean you have the heart and mind to truly be worthy of a certain type of man. Which is why some of them can't get that man. Some of them can't get him because he doesn't exist; and if he does, he's a more assholie version of that fantasy. Sometimes it's just a matter of bad timing.

[brriarr]

I think a lot of women who are independent are very dominant in their lifestyle. There's nothing wrong with making money and taking pride in the fact that you've done it with no one else's help of course. That's why they have a dominant view of their life. But like when you're in a relationship with a guy, you definitely have to share that dominance with him. That doesn't mean you let him completely take over, but guys like to feel macho sometimes. They like to feel big and stuff. So when they're constantly feeling like they're belittled or something like that, they definitely won't want to be in a relationship with that woman. I dunno. I got that from my sister's podcast from a relationship therapist lmfao

[toulouse]

So basically- If the woman is dominant the woman should tone it down for the guy. if the guy is dominant the woman should tone it down for the guy. women don't want to be belittled either.

when women want control it is of themselves. when men want control it is of the whole relationship. they should get over it, instead of trying to justify it with bs logic about being macho.

>who said he has a 'right' to machismo? there's no reason his desire to feel 'macho' should trump her power.

[onlyaguy]

"when women want control it is of themselves. when men want control it is of the whole relationship."

What? Where the hell did you come up with that, toulouse? A LOT of women are very controlling in their relationships, and NOT just of themselves.

Seriously, where do you get this stuff?

[brriarr]

lol I feel like the toulouse went completely feminist on me. No, women don't just want control of themselves. No, women aren't always these independent perfect creatures, just like men aren't.

And no, they shouldn't have to get over the fact that there is absolutely no shared dominance or an equality of dominance in the entire relationship. That's so hypocritical of you. Every man has a right to machoism just like every girl has a right to femininity.

[toulouse]

high strung? did they say they were high strung?

@it seems that a few women who want to "fight the man" per-say. Truly want to be outgoing, and yet forget to see what it takes to be in a relationship.

she is not fighting or competing by just by being herself. she's comfortable in her position. if the guy is not comfortable with hr position, HE is the one competing. why even make it an issue?

there are millions of people women AND men-who can't find a good person for themselves. you singled out women you think are powerful to try to convince people their problem is they are women with power.

you never said what you think it takes to be in a relationship. pretending to be what she isnt?

if she's strong she's strong. she doesn't change that because a guy doesn't like it.

would you act weak to get and maintain a relationship? if you did., by the end it wouldn't be anything you wanted.. its no different for women.

[Anonymous]

Almost all women don't want to date a man of lower economic status than them. Almost all men are willing to date a woman of lower economic status. Hence, high-economic-status women have fewer options that would make them happy than high-economic-status men do.

Many men are also willing to date women of higher economic status than them. That in itself isn't the problem. The problem is, to have a successful career, you have to be an assertive type often to the point of aggression. It's not female independence or female wealth that turns men off. It's female aggression.

[Opinion Owner]

Also another point. While high-economic-status women often have personalities that are unattractive to men, high-economic-status men often have personalities that are attractive to women: aggression, assertivesness, confidence. A guy liike that is going to have a lot of success with women. And, since men have finally abandoned the pre-1960s behavior and finally come to embrace the idea that casual sex isn't taboo anymore, those attractive men are going to be hard to tie down.

[Anonymous]

Nothing new here. The problem is that there is a disparity between what women's minds tell them they want (or should want) and what their hearts and libidos are attracted to.

Actually, what is new is that some women are beginning to come around to the realization that what feminism brainwashed them to believe was their path to happiness only led them to misery. Women today are less happy than at any point in history - a proven fact. At the same time, men are no less happy today than in the past, but they sure as hell are less interested in getting married. Hmmm...I wonder why.

Gender roles are not pure evil like we have all been told. There were valid reasons for them beyond the "patriarchy".

[1995girl]

I'm not going to read this fully since it's too much, but all I know is that everyone seeks love in this world, even the ones who are independent. Everyone wants to share and give and be given the hapiness of love. Some just have too many standards which blinds them from what they needed all along, and some are just too insecure to let themselves connect with someone.

[onlyaguy]

Relationships in which both parties have dominant personalities typically don't work very well, and it doesn't take a degree in psychology to figure out why. The things that women (and society) value in men are consistent with a dominant personality type. Not all women...but most.

So is it really any surprise that dominant women have difficulty in relationships with the type of men that women consider to be "good men"?

[RedSmartie]

Just because you're independent doesn't mean you don't want love. But it's hard for a business woman to find a man who is on her level and wants a relationship that is built in mutual respect and not domination. A lot of guys (even the highly educated and "worldly" ones) still want traditional "me man you woman, get back in kitchen while I fight T-Rex" kind of relationship and not very many educated and independent women want to put up with that.

[penguindeux]

You're right, women should adjust their lives and careers according to what makes men comfortable, they should work, because men don't want to pay for anything, but they should always hold themselves back and keep themselves just little below men in rank and power status so that they don't hurt the fragile male ego.

[Asker]

That maybe the realism that some men want, but my thoughts were around the idea of lack of qualifying men out there. As in, a woman wants a man equally on her level, but often over looks the man who is willing to love her, but is not within the confines of her socially excepted outlook.

[penguindeux]

i wasn't utilizing realism, I was being sarcastic you moron,

[Asker]

Sarcasm always comes with a sense of true feelings from an individual. An offensive approach wasn't a good one to go upon such a response. Whether it be that you are sarcastic or not. Textual assumptions on true human emotion cannot be easily seen. So, since this was a question on explanatory insight. I decided to take your statement as more truth, than not.

[penguindeux]

maybe I thought the ridiculousness of the words I was stating would be clear to most people, the fact that you would take what I said seriously and consider this "realism" is quite terrifying but nicely proves how full of sh*t you really are.

[Asker]

Quite a few humans as you would like to phrase it. Are full of "sh*t"', and your last statement shows lack there of. For the ability to answer accordingly. Without going on a pure defensive statement. Realism can be seen in a multitude of different scenarios. A scenario of one listening to a conversation, and hearing a male pinpoint a woman, and calls her "fat", but truly was meaning "phat"(Pretty hot, and tempting).Body language determines most tones, and not the tone of the voice.Psychology101

[Anonymous]

I'm confused about what your point is. Why shouldn't independent business women also want to be in romantic relationships like any other human being on earth, and then complain when they can't seem to find what theyre looking for in their quest of that companion ship?

Do you think business people or just business women should be happy without relationships and not go down that road? Having a hard time understanding you.

[Anonymous]

Women like strong men, and the stronger the woman, the stronger her man needs to be. Men are no longer competing against other men, but now must compete with the woman as well. Men on the other hand have no problem dating a woman of less power and influence as himself.

[penguindeux]

i don't think women have a problem dating guys who are less powerful/influential than themselves, it's that men have a problem dating women MORE powerful than themselves, so no matter how successful and affluent a women is in her own right, she's still expected to submit and act like the more docile and brainless one no matter who she's dating, and for women who refuse to dumb themselves down and act meek and submissive they have a hard time finding a guy who isn't put off by this.

[toulouse]

the point is, they have a problem dating a woman of greater power or influence. not that women have a problem dating a guy of less power.

you don't see nearly as much complaints about men from women as you from men about women trying to compete with men --just because the woman happens to be strong and he can't handle that.

[Opinion Owner]

That is just an excuse women use to shift blame as to the reason they are alone instead of realizing that maybe they are not entitled to the kind of man they envision for themselves. Even the women answering this question keep saying that it is because a woman wants a man on her level. Being successful in her career doesn't increase a woman's worth or level in the eyes of most men. We simply don't care. So successful women are rarely intimidating. These women overestimate their worth.

[penguindeux]

"Being successful in her career doesn't increase a woman's worth or level in the eyes of most men. We simply don't care" you try to make that sound noble, but in fact if that is true it's only because men primarily care about looks, the most shallow value of all,

success and wealth are usually reflections of positive traits, hard work, determination, education, intelligence, and sensibility...the fact these things mean nothing to men in a women is not something to be proud of.

[penguindeux]

these women don't overestimate their worth, they just have the audacity to seek out a partner they can respect and admire on equal footing.

[523206720]

It's hard to divide yourself between your job and your dream guy equally. Some people pick one and sacrifice the other.

[Anonymous]

So, women who are independent and outgoing must somehow temper these personality characteristics and be more dependent and introverted to get a husband? Seen but not heard kind of thing? But men are allowed to encompass these characteristics and they are OK. This is ridiculous.

[justincider]

No, not what he is saying at all. They should be open to and accepting of a guy who is not at the level they are at. Happens all the time now.

[Asker]

Again, Justincider is correct. The idea isn't surrounding the belittling of successful business women, but the complaint of not finding a guy who meets their standards. When such standards are consisting of a man who more than likely doesn't exist. If a woman wants a Romeo, but yet does not forfeit her want of an economically successful man. She is less likely find both in a single man. Thus, limiting the fish in the ocean, and forgoing anger at unreasonable expectations.

[Opinion Owner]

I see what you're saying, but unattractive men with no social skills do the same thing all the time. They have girls they could date, but they're not "attractive" enough for them, they want women hotter than they are. They are not even willing to settle for girls of the same attractiveness. Lots of people do this. They'll be alone so it's not my problem.

[Opinion Owner]

I know this to be true because my brother is a great example. He is overweight, and the only girls he's interested in dating are very thin girls. He says he's simply "not attracted" to chubbier girls like himself. He hasn't had a girlfriend in 7 years.

[Asker]

Well said, and good point. Thanks for taking a good stand point on what it truly comes down to. I believe that you're correct on the assumption/observation of how it truly is seen in this world. As another person answered. Women want safety, and men want attractiveness. As for your brother, I wish him the best, and hopefully he comes around. I've got a friend who is like that as well, and has only gotten one number in 8 years. You get what you give more often than not.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

In life, there are levels

When you are on a high level, its probably harder to find a man who's not only on your level, but one you're compatible with and want to date. The numbers are lower to choose from because more guys have to be ruled out. No one wants to date a guy below them.i'm not on a successful level yet, but I wouldn't date a guy who was less successful than I am

[justincider]

You couldn't have captioned what he is getting at better. Women in power think less of men who do not hold equal power, limit their dating pool, and basically blame their single status on men being to lame for her. But a guy can be OK with marrying the waitress from Chilis. You made his point exactly. Basically a corporate women would never date a male school teacher. Is what it is, but they shouldn't bitch about it afterward and they do...

[Asker]

On many levels, Justincider is correct. The idea that we have economical status sometimes overflows the thoughts finding someone who matches your personality traits. Instead of matching someone who is a counterpoint to your wallet size, or authoritative pull.

[Asker]

Excuse me, I meant to put "instead you would match with someone who is a counterpoint to your wallet size, and authoritative pull."

[washize]

Stereotypically, Men go for women that they find more attractive Physically/sexually. Women go for men that they can find stability with financially, emotionally, and mentally. The waitress at Chillies is usually a +10 for most men. A waiter at chillies is usually -10 for most higher educated women. Women tend to date in their economic standing. Men tend to date by how attractive the woman is. Women for more stability in a relationship than looks. According to societal pseudoscience anyways.

[Asker]

Biological, and subconscious traits... It truly does go back to the neanderthals, and what each sex's individual needs are. Thank you for explaining yourself further; as you made a very agreeable point.

[washize]

No problem! It just noticed it was a point no one brought up regarding what men and women search for in partners.

[Anonymous]

well because women want a relatinship apart from just having a job, not becuase they are independent business women mean that they only want a career and not a family or a partner.

[Anonymous]

because their standards are too high and they don't make time and they are stuck up and...

[Anonymous]

so what are you saying? women should work because you're too f***ing lazy and non committal pay fr anything, BUT they shouldn't reach their full potential or be too successful because it intimidates you and is therefore clearly against the natural order of things.

[AndyWes]

Actually, a study was done and career women are rated as less attractive than other women, on basis of face only. They said it was due to a hormone released by stress that affected fertility. Apparently men can sense it-- link

[Asker]

It wasn't an idea of men being lazy, or the concept of women not being courted. My thought pattern was along the idea that high strung business professionals are lack there of for other true characteristics. Such as their greed of money, or domination of power over takes their subconscious mind, and it streams back to home. It isn't intimidation, but the idea that why would one complain about the inability to find a good man. For they themselves have a different set of priorities.

[Opinion Owner]

don't give me that sh*t, if that was your intention why do only use women as an example? this should apply equally to highly strung business professional men.

what utter bollocks.

[Asker]

It's one sided for the time being, because I'm asking as for a ideology of such concept about women; not men. The idea that men do the same thing is more than likely a given, but my current objective is to see as to the side of the reasoning for women's actions in this.

[Opinion Owner]

you're not talking about money and greed, you're arguing about gender and where women's natural place is. If it was your intention to do otherwise then you have seriously terrible debating skills.

[Asker]

My intention is get an all around perspective about such topic. The idea that feminism was an incorrect direction for society. Is something that I'm not even pointing at, or even within the mindset that it was somehow wrong in it's doing. My debating skills never pinpointed your flaws, nor did it even come across as harsh as using words to which would demean someone. The idea was to see each individuals perspective, and only that. Not to do as you're thinking, and hear what I want, or set fault

[kissmeneckback]

wow. this is interesting!

[Anonymous]

well because everybody wants love.

[cherokeeblake1]

Maybe her job is a turn off for men.