I met my boyfriend on plenty of fish....

I have been dating my boyfriend of 6 months through plenty of fish (dating site.) I had been single for 9 years and he had never had much luck with ladies (confirmed by his family.) well he seemed to have fallen for me pretty quick and told me he loved me after only one month of dating. Well 6 months down the line and thinking things are moving along nicely and him talking about us moving in 2gether at some point this yr, I decided to Check if he was still on pof.com, to my horror he was still on there and had been online in the last few days. I then decided to make up a fake profile and message him, he did message me back while staying at my house while I was at work! He said he wasn't up for meeting ransoms and that he didn't come across many head turners like her (fake profile) very often. I'm not sure how to confront him as I have in the past about his profile still being on there, I deleted mine after 2 months of dating and he told me he had deleted his too! I'm so hurt, on one hand I hey that he is still pretty new to the dating scene and wants to see what else is out there but I have a feeling I'm gonna get hurt! Please can you send me to advise

Well he has now messeged her (fake profile) asking to meet her on a Saturday (a day were I work) but the day he has planned is the day I have booked off for a party, should I plan to meet him and catch him in the act! I'm so pissed off with him I've told him I'm to ill to see him tonight!
Wow planning a date at the same place we had our first date! Was I just a practice run until something better came along! I'm sorry fucking annoyed!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Advise? Keep dating him but stop thinking he's the one or that you're going to move in together.

    He is a desperate first timer who felt that life was passing him by. You're not his first choice of girl, you're his ONLY choice. So he's moving along checking the check boxes that he thinks men and women are supposed to fill in. (Such as saying he loves you and moving in together, and eventually marriage and kids.) But he doesn't feel about you the way that you would like him to.

    He might, eventually. But he's being dishonest about his feelings now because he's afraid to lose you and be single again.

    It's quite possible that because he sucks so bad at dating, that he has no real understanding of what feelings are like in a relationship. Maybe he was raised on too many disney movies, like girls are, and he's waiting to be blown away and swept off his feet by a Jennifer Aniston look alike. Or Zoey Deschanel's manic pixie girl.

    A few years of dating real women and he'd realize those fantasies are full of shit. But he hasn't had those few years of experience.

    He's not a bad guy. He's a confused guy who doesn't understand why he doesn't feel with you, what he thinks he should be feeling with you.

    • Thank you, I'm just so confused, I have asked to met him (fake profile pof) on the days we spend 2gether and he never takes the bait, by cancelling with me to met other girls!

    • Show All
    • No, it's quite common. If you looked at most of the poor male saps on this website, you'd see it's more common than you'd think.

    • Just see facts. If he was legit regarding what he told her, he wouldn't be flirting on websites.

      He has no dating experience ? Well now he has a girlfriend, if he needs to learn. Or sites like this one, if he has questions regarding relationships. Again, he's not clear, nothing else to say.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • he's probably already or is still looking to meet someone else. my opinion. next time you are with him just open up your fake account and show him the correspondence and ask him to explain it.

    It doesn't matter if he is new on the dating scene or not honesty is honesty and he shows a lack of it...makes maybe realize why he's had bad "luck" with women...

    I think that you need to decide if this is what you want going forward because more than likely it's not going to change. but I would want to see if he would at least be honest with things when directly confronted.

    as others have said the red flags are flying high and fast on this one. I'd probably be done as this is a very explicit act of dishonesty

    • @update. maybe just call him and tell him face to face it's over. tell him you hope he has fun on his meet up, but don't be surprised if she doesn't show...[hint] [hint]

      and then tell him not to call you again...sorry you're dealing with it, some guys are douche bags

  • He's planning or already has cheated. You need to show him your fake profile immediately.

  • A males point of view

    1 he lied to you and said he deleted his account = HURT

    2 he said he's committed to you and wants to move in but yet is on POF in your home = HURT

    3 he answered and flirted with your fake profile on POF = Cheating = HURT

    You realize he is already basicly cheating on you

    • If I were you I would meet him for his date on Saturday ... arrive a few minutes late ... !

  • That is a nice collection of red flags.

    I'd say casually show him your fake profile the next time you're both around the computer, see him shit his pants, and break up ;)

    • @Update: I'm sorry for you. Let him go to the "meeting", and when he contacts you back, tell him you're sorry no one showed up, as you were behind this fake profile, and break up. It's a pity, you won't see him soil his pants, but you can still imagine it ;)

What Girls Said 1

  • Omg that is horrifying. There is a serious lack of respect for the relationship by him. Why would he be so serious with you and still trying to pick up girls? Wtf.. Yeah I would say make it a HUGE deal by having a serious conversation with him. I don't know if he just wants to flirt with these girls or hook up or wtf but that is messed up. What a mindfuck