Polls: Dating

Do you usually ghost them or tell them straight that you are not interested?

Me personally - I can’t hurt people’s feelings so I rather disappear than hurt someone. I’d feel so guilty if I knew I was a reason someone started feeling bad because of me.

Who should text first after a first date?

A guy or a girl? Explain. 😅

I’ve been seeing a med student for ~a month and a half. I completely understand that their schedule is busy- I’m also in school but not as intense as them. I asked a couple of weeks ago what they thought about us, just to get an idea of where he is.

He said that he hadn’t reflected on it much because he’s been busy with school. To clarify, I asked if he wanted to stop things or see where we end up, and he chose the latter. Essentially, I gave him an out but he didn’t take it.

He drunk texted me and brought up s*x for the first time a few days ago (he went to visit his friends in another state and they got hammered). I went along with it because honestly, I thought about it and kinda wanted it too.

Right after that, it’s like he fell off the face of the earth. The next day after (I guess drunkenly asking for booty call), we chatted as usual throughout the day. I then asked him to call me (nothing serious, he’s never called me before and I just like talking rather than texting). He said he would as soon as he finished up in the hospital. I didn’t hear back from him for a couple of days. (Side note, this isn’t the first time he’s kinda disappeared or slowed down communication for a day or two, I’ve brought this up before).

So I finally texted him to see what was going on. He got back to me quickly and he apologized and said that things were getting kinda crazy with school. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what to say. He texted the next day to see how my day was going. I’ve been going back and forth with whether or not to respond or even what to say.

Does it sound like he’s legitimately busy and sorry? Or doing damage control just to waste my time? If I should respond, what should I say?

I appreciate all the help, I’m super new to dating.

Also, in my old question, it seemed like most guys agreed he was busy and most girls said he’s wasting time which is interesting.

I’ve been seeing a med student for ~a month and a half. I completely understand that their schedule is busy- I’m also in school but not as intense as them. I asked a couple of weeks ago what they thought about us, just to get an idea of where he is.

He said that he hadn’t reflected on it much because he’s been busy with school. To clarify, I asked if he wanted to stop things or see where we end up, and he chose the latter. Essentially, I gave him an out but he didn’t take it.

He drunk texted me and brought up s*x for the first time a few days ago (he went to visit his friends in another state and they got hammered). I went along with it because honestly, I thought about it and kinda wanted it too.

Right after that, it’s like he fell off the face of the earth. The next day after (I guess drunkenly asking for booty call), we chatted as usual throughout the day. I then asked him to call me (nothing serious, he’s never called me before and I just like talking rather than texting). He said he would as soon as he finished up in the hospital. I didn’t hear back from him for a couple of days.

So I finally texted him to see what was going on and he apologized and said that things were getting kinda crazy with school. Which I get with final exams coming.

The thing is, does this sound like a legitimate excuse or is it him kinda ghosting me? I gave him an out literally about a week or two ago which he didn’t take. Do guys act weird like this after bringing up sex? And if he is ghosting, why didn’t he just take the out I offered and why has he always made the effort to initiate talking good morning text almost everyday, except a few days?

There is a lot of controversy surrounding this issue. What do you think?