The 10 Types of College Professors You'll Conquer in College!

The Ten Types of College Professors You'll Conquer in College!

Now that we're entering the month of September, it's time to write a helpful, yet, fun take for incoming college freshmen! In a way, this take could also be geared for high school students as well, but I will save that for another take(There are differences).

The type of teachers I mention on this list are not exclusive by any means. In all actuality, you may never be fortunate(or unfortunate) enough to run into one of these types of teachers. I will give you a run-down of each type, and pros/cons of each type.

The 10 Types of College Professors You'll Conquer in College!

1. The Really Really Really Really Hard Professor

This one is self-explanatory. This isn't just your run of the mill challenging professor-It's a professor so difficult, you might question whether or not this professor should keep their job. This professor not only grades homework on performance, but even if you follow the instructions, you're docked points. If you do an essay for this professor, regardless of whether or not you follow the rubric, you'll be begging for a C. If this professor gives a test, studying can't even save you. Hopefully, you won't run into a professor, but especially not in your freshman year-Like I did!(Luckily, the only professor I had which fell into this category).

Pros-Forces you to work hard, and you'll probably actually learn something.

Cons-A Grade Point Average rapist.

The 10 Types of College Professors You'll Conquer in College!

2. The Cakewalk

This is the opposite of the professor I just mentioned-This professor is so easy, you'll literally feel like an elementary school student again-Yes, these professors exist. This is the professor that will probably give you the highest possible grade just because he/she doesn't feel like grading anything. This type of professor is always known for giving an excessive amount of extra-credit. I had two professors like this, and they were both ultra-easy A's. This is the professor you want-Especially in your freshman year.

Pros-This professor to your GPA is what Narcan is to Heroin addicts.

Cons-You won't learn anything, which will come back to haunt you.

The 10 Types of College Professors You'll Conquer in College!

3. The Joker

Yes, you probably had funny teachers before in the past-But they were restricted. In the college world, who cares if your tenured professor speaks R, or X-rated nonsense? I don't! There are some professors you have who could be stand-up comedians. I'm talking ones who call out students, and roast them in the most vulgar ways! The biggest "joker" of a professor I had in college was one who called out a girl, and told her she was "probably going to be the wild whore at a party", and every guy in the class laughed. These are often the least politically correct professors, and ones people enjoy coming to class for.

Pros-At least you look forward to attending that 8 A.M. class.

Cons-Sometimes, they take it too far, which can be distracting.

The 10 Types of College Professors You'll Conquer in College!

4. The Tyrant

Luckily, I pretty much avoided this in college-Except for that one professor whom was also my most difficult one(Talk about a rough batch). The funny thing is, your most cruel professors aren't necessarily your most difficult-They just like giving you a mental challenge. However, similar to "The Joker", you probably never saw anything as extreme as the meanest, baddest, and most tyrannical professors in college. Some will go out of their way, and curse students out over petty reasons. Some will insult you in front of the class. Some will write nasty comments on your work. One of these professors may give you second thoughts on suicide-But just remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Pros-They get you mentally prepared for the real world.

Cons-You will be tempted to drop out of this class-Or maybe drop out of college altogether.

The 10 Types of College Professors You'll Conquer in College!

5. The Babysitter

At the college I attended(Miami University in Ohio), this was literally an epidemic! I would say over half of my professors fell into this category. What, you might ask? Professors who refuse to treat you like an adult, that's what. These professors will have a mandatory attendance policy(Granted, my college had an attendance policy). These professors will often make you raise your hand to leave the room. These professors will ban you from using electronics, even if they aren't distracting. These professors will often email, or call your parents, or dock points of talking, or using curse words. It seems unbelievable, but I saw these everywhere in college.

Pros-They often give you multiple chances to do tests, essays, homework, etc.

Cons-They're fueling the "Lifelong Children" epidemic among Millennials.

The 10 Types of College Professors You'll Conquer in College!

6. The Student Teacher

Most high school students don't realize this, but there are college students teaching college students. The most common combination I came across was graduate students teaching undergrads, but there are also graduate students(for a PhD) teaching grad students(for an MBA). Also, there are some rare instances of upper-level undergraduate students teaching "life skills", or "Welcome Freshman" style classes to lower-level undergrad students (Sadly, they often do it without pay). I had one professor which fell into this category-He was a student studying for his Master's degree, and was actually really good. These professors are often so stressed, they won't give out much homework, since they don't want to grade it all the time.

Pros-This is some of the best eye "candy" in campus!

Cons-They're inexperienced, which can be frustrating for everyone.

The 10 Types of College Professors You'll Conquer in College!

7. The "All Or Nothing" Professor

I've had two professors which fall into this category, and they are very unique. These professors don't have an actual grading scale-They either pass, or fail you. In other words, you get an A or an F. Luckily, both of these professors I had which used this odd method were absurdly easy-But I can imagine these being the most stressful professors, depending on the mind games they play with you. I would hate to have a class such as this, work my butt off, and have the professor give me an F without any quantitative data to support his reasoning. These professors are looking for a lawsuit.

Pros-You don't have to worry about every single test score for a change.

Cons-I hope you're not a worry-wart-This may be your worst nightmare.

The 10 Types of College Professors You'll Conquer in College!

8. The Politically Correct Crybaby

What if I told you these professors are actually uncommon? So, the next time you hear in the news a professor is protesting for an offensive statement, keep in mind, that is an isolated example. However, I have had a few professors such as this, and I compare them to the scab on my leg: They don't hurt me, they just bug me. These professor tend to be female for some reason. They also tend to be annoying. Don't be this professor. Ever.

Pros-I guess you'll learn how to talk in a civil manner.

Cons-Do I need an explanation?

The 10 Types of College Professors You'll Conquer in College!

9. The Traditional Professor

These professors are probably elderly men who have been teaching at your college since your state joined the union. Similar to what you see in movies, is what you'll see in front of your real life. Mind-blown, right? These professors are technologically illiterate, will lecture nearly the entire block, write dull notes on a chalkboard, and will cease to remember your name. These are also the type who refuse to do anything online-Some of them won't even use an e-mail address! I'm an old-school type of guy myself, but we're almost 16 years in the new millennium, can we maybe catch up on the times here?

Pros-If they can't remember your name, they obviously won't remember that they hate you.

Cons-You'll think you're living in 1816, not 2016.

The 10 Types of College Professors You'll Conquer in College!

10. The Escape Artist

This might just be your favorite type of professor, and luckily, my college had(What I felt) too many of these fools running around. This is the professor who looks for any excuse to escape doom: By cancelling class. Whether it be frost on a windshield, a third-cousin's second-cousin being born, a "wedding" at 7:30 A.M., or in some rare instances, no excuse at all-You will receive that gorgeous email in the middle of the night saying your class has been C-A-N-C-E-L-L-E-L-E-D. It's time to celebrate the fact these professor exist! I had one professor cancel 13 out of the 30 scheduled classes for the semester in my freshman year, and nobody cared, so we loved her.

Pros-The list is endless.

Cons-Technically, you're wasting your money.

...And you'll probably run into at least ten other types I didn't mention. Be prepared for the unexpected.

The 10 Types of College Professors You'll Conquer in College!
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