Have You Learned What Your Love Languages Are?

[Justneedtokno]

• Physical touch
• Quality time
• Acts of service
• Words of affirmation
• Still figuring it out

YES, You can have multiple.

Updates

+1 y

Oh and GIFTS also A LOVE LANGUAGE (although a materialistic)

[zeitgeist057]

Yes, mine are more like I use and am aware of all of them, just some more so than others. Roughly in order or actually I'll give them a "out of 10" score for both giving and receiving:

words of affirmation: 9/10 giving, 9/10 receiving
physical touch: 8/10 giving and 8/10 receiving
acts of service: 8/10 giving and 6/10 receiving
quality time: 7/10 giving and 7/10 receiving
gift giving/receiving: 3/10 giving and 4/10 receiving

I didn't score any as perfect as for example on touch I am not an all over you attached at the hip holding hands 24/7 type person, same with quality time, I need a little time and space to myself. But I love to praise people and give them encouragement, and I also enjoy hugs, massage, and of course sex with more intimate relationships. But I am a touchy person which has been a little hard as I am now not touching people as much as I would like out of respect for our culture of consent but I also feel we are losing something because touch is so important and I feel people are probably doing the same for me not touching me out of respect for this culture but I feel terrible without it. Now with the pandemic it's even worse. :/

My worst/lowest scoring one is gift giving as I feel I don't know what to give people and feel weird giving gifts unless I really feel I found something perfect for a person, then I love to give it. As for receiving gifts I feel awkward usually because I feel people do the gift giving thing in some obligated way like it was your birthday or Christmas and it's something I don't want or need so it was a waste of money (and I came from poverty so wasting money feels wrong). Now I have plenty of money and buy myself everything I need so it doesn't make sense to buy me something because the stuff I didn't buy for myself already that I want is too expensive for a simple gift (like hundreds or thousands of dollars). I think my preferred gift giving/receiving would be food based because we always eat so I like to buy food for people or if someone treats me to a meal that is sweet and loving.

[Justneedtokno]

Where did you go and take the test

[zeitgeist057]

I didn't recently, I just know my score more or less. You can just google and there are several free tests, though many are phishing for your email.

[TheBootyChest]

I own the book and mine is totally Physical Touch. Just a shame I don't get it.

[Justneedtokno]

Hey what’s the name of that book

[TheBootyChest]

The Five Love Languages. The author's last name is Chapman.

[Justneedtokno]

Thank you sir

[loves2learn]

I own the book too

[Subarugirl]

Actually the love language of gifts isn’t as materialistic as you may think. It something that lets your partner know you’re thinking about them even when you’re not together. Like picking a flower because you know they will like it or grabbing that snack from the check out isle because you know it’s their favorite or getting them new socks because you noticed the ones they were wearing the other day has holes in them.

[Justneedtokno]

I guess it could be the little things but sometimes it gets out of hand and some people ask for too much so it’s not one of mine in particular

[KatherineJ]

All of them

[loves2learn]

Mine are, in this order:
.

• Words of affirmation
• Acts of service
• Quality time
• Gifts
• Physical touch
.
My husband’s are, in this order:
.
• Physical touch
• Gifts
• Quality time

• Acts of service
• Words of affirmation

.
The struggle is real.

[TrueConfection]

I would say mine is acts of service. I feel loved and cherished when my husband does something nice for me or checks something off my honey-do list. I try to reciprocate and sometimes we get into a nice rhythm.

[J2ohhhhh]

Time or gifts. When you give your time or resources you sacrifice something. You can give countless hugs and nice words, you don't lose anything by giving them. That's just tokenism, charity. I want money and time, and then I see that we she means business.

[IAMNathanael]

I don't know what mine is. Though if it's anything I wouldn't be surprised if it's music. Music is a universal language

[LimboOfTheDink]

Man, mine is gifts why it gotta be materialistic?

It's not what it is that counts (well you want them to like it), it's who it's from and who it's for.

I just don't like touch, and I like to give gifts. Is that so wrong? 🥺

[Michael49]

Not wrong at all. Giving unexpected random gifts just affirms that your partner is thinking of you. I think they are way more thoughtful then the obligatory gifts u receive on birthdays or holidays.

[LimboOfTheDink]

@Michael49 yes thank u

[Michael49]

@LimboOfTheDink my pleasure. That’s the good part, now the bad…….. I love to touch. Hugs, cuddling, gentle tap on the rear now and again. Hahaha

[LimboOfTheDink]

@Michael49 oh, yeah that is good for you mate. I scored 0% on touch so if you have a partner hopefully they like touch a little more than I do lol.

That's one possible issue with all these different languages; you gotta know yours and your partners, and be able to do theirs too.

[Michael49]

@LimboOfTheDink Good news: my partner absolutely so loves touch. Bad news: i am my partner. Relationships are true to life, everyone is different.

[LimboOfTheDink]

@Michael49 ah, yep.

[Michael49]

@LimboOfTheDink The important thing is to be open, honest and communicate to your partner your likes and dislikes and each others willingness to adapt and accept them.

[sensible27]

I think the first one isn't as important as the rest of them, and i don't need gifts

[Gwenhwyfar]

Just answered this the other day. Mine are quality time and words of affirmation.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Yes I have learned it, but I believe that's something you and a partner should always know. Having a discussion about it alwaysdoesn't seem palpable for genuine behavior, but more closer to just talk and no action.

[JenniferStar]

Gifts are nice but for me it's a mix of Physical touch, Quality time and words of affirmation. Acts of service are like gifts.

[strawberreez123]

- gifts
-*sometimes* physical touch
- reassurance
-words of affirmation
-comfort when sad
-understanding emotions
-empathy

[Totesperf]

My primary is Acts of Service.
Secondary, Physical Touch.

[ChiPaPa]

I don't know. Sometimes I crave physical touch, other times soothing words.

[Andres77]

#5 is "gifts".

Mine are quality time and physical touch.
Wife: physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service.

[Justneedtokno]

Update it lol

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

The one I speak with my wife. Which is basically rubbing each other's feet.

[ThatNoUVAtYourEyes]

The first two plus similar/aligned abstract thinking and goals

[iWantToCry]

Well Im a findom so primarily it's getting money from you that turns me on

[Justneedtokno]

That’s gifts sir

[DizzyDesii]

For sure quality time and words of affirmation

[Alyssa11]

Physical touch and words of affirmation

[Miristheiss]

Yes, physical touch and quality time.

[Recurrence]

Acts of Service and Quality Time

[Cherry234]

No I don't know what my love languages are

[roy_ricky09]

Intelligence

[Justneedtokno]

I agree but thats more along the line of what you’re attracted to

[Jamie05rhs]

Yes.

[Justneedtokno]

Lol which ones

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol. I already answered previously. But mine is Quality Time.

[Justneedtokno]

Gotcha I have to re-do the question because it didn’t make sense to other people

[Jamie05rhs]

Oh, okay. Cool

[Phoenix98]

I know what mine are yeah.

[abcdef-z]

Yes! Quality time

[Ironic_Method]

Physical affection and quality time for me.

[ChefPapiChulo]

there's no such thing as a love language.

[Justneedtokno]

There is aren’t certain things that you would like your partner to do fo besides sex. You probably just have learned them yet

[ChefPapiChulo]

What a bunch of rubbish.

[ChefPapiChulo]

This is just another marketing ploy. You know what love is? Love is your mom making you soup when you’re sick. That’s what love is. All of this is just to sell more chocolates and flowers and diamonds. It’s a huge scam.

[Justneedtokno]

Wade none of this has to do with material things at all quality time it’s just being around each other acts of service that’s doing the dishes or something for them words of affirmation tell them a complement physical touch you should know what that is.

No one is asking you buy anything. It’s about how do you like to receive and giving love

[ChefPapiChulo]

Well that doesn’t have to be defined by a “love language”.

What a ridiculous term. Sounds like a bad book.

[Justneedtokno]

Well as you can see many men and women think it’s easier to sum it up with simple words. This is a better way to communicate the way you would like to show your love or appreciate it. You right I can be call something else. Any suggestions?

[ChefPapiChulo]

It’s a made up concept

[Justneedtokno]

I don’t think so if you don’t like anything that your partner does for you then that’s fine but you can some of those things in a couple of words like people are doing now it’s not a concept it’s just the definition of those

[ChefPapiChulo]

This shit is not a real concept. It's literally a book turned into a marketing ploy.

[Justneedtokno]

But nobody’s asking you to buy anything that’s the problem that I don’t get with your answer. They’re just words that sums up the way people treat their partners. It’s not a concept it’s not a gimmick it’s not anything like that. If I want to be treated a certain way then you just say that. Being taken care of when you’re sick is an active service that your mother did.

[ChefPapiChulo]

it's just stupid.

[Justneedtokno]

Why are you so mean and mad about stuff? You’re mad at words what’s wrong

[ChefPapiChulo]

I'm explaining to you how love language is stupid and there is no such thing as a love language. Not hard to understand.

[Justneedtokno]

Obviously you’re wrong but OK

[ChefPapiChulo]

Bruh. This shit is from a stupid book. Love language is not a real thing. It’s from someone trying to make an extra dollar from easily impressionable idiots.

[Justneedtokno]

You don’t think people actually study people and wrote a book about it. It’s OK I’ve already said it was OK

[Justneedtokno]

Again nobody’s forcing you to do anything you don’t have to buy nothing you don’t have to do nothing well here just talking about how we would like to be treated.

[ChefPapiChulo]

That last part you said is unnecessary because it’s not about me. And I dont need to study people to know what’s a scam

[Justneedtokno]

I’m not saying you. I said it’s ok

[strawberreez123]

@chefpapichulo Love is when you're tired and exhausted and sad and you can't do something you normally do, but the person you love and loves you back (I mean a romantic partner) does that thing for you. Makes food, does your laundry, because they love and understand you and they know you're not capable of doing some things because you're feeling down

[ChefPapiChulo]

@strawberreez123 my point is that it’s just a concept and not a real language. And it’s a silly scam. If my professor ever forced me to read this shit in psychology class I’d probably drop out of that class.

[strawberreez123]

@chefpapichulo who hurt you?

[ChefPapiChulo]

@strawberreez123 that’s not a valid response.

[Justneedtokno]

See you whenever you comment on my stuff you’re always so negative I don’t understand. In psych it’s also brought up before about Love languages. The concept is putting those things into categories ask of service as in taking care of you as a part of that and I have explained each one so it makes sense and obviously there are so many people that responded to this thread it makes sense to them. Again no one‘s asking you to buy an item you either have a way that you like to be treated or love or you just don’t care. It only categorizes the way you want things. Maybe you want somebody to take care of you maybe you want someone to buy you things maybe you wanna just spend time with someone or maybe you want to be touched

[Justneedtokno]

They’re basically categories of things that you can do with other people or for other people or what they can do for you. It’s not a concept is not a ploy it’s not a scam. It’s just simple terms

[msc545]

Mine is "leave me alone"

[Justneedtokno]

Lol 😂

[loves2learn]

@msc545 hows that working out for ya?

[msc545]

@loves2learn Very well, thanks.

[EaterPeter]

Not yet, what's your order?

[Justneedtokno]

I like quality time and physical touch and words of affirmation

[EaterPeter]

Words no. 2 quality time no. 1 I think I am almost same physical touch would be no. 3 for me.

[EaterPeter]

Slight different order than you

[Justneedtokno]

Hmm I see

[KrakenAttackin]

You left off "gifts".

[KrakenAttackin]

Beware women who's live languages are "acts of service" and/or "gifts. These woman want a man slave who buys them things.

[Justneedtokno]

I updated it

[Justneedtokno]

Not many do actually. Quality time. Seem to be the average response.

[Anonymous]

A little bit of everything!

[WowwGirl]

Gifts

[WowwGirl]

Funny you missed one opps

[Wise4myage]

Still learning, lol.

[Dinosaursandanime65]

No, maybe