What is your Love Language?

[kaskas19]

There are five love languages, here is a quiz to find your score. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

My scores were:
Words of Affirmation 12 (Primary love language)
Physical Touch 9 (Secondary love language)
Quality Time 5
Acts of Service 3
Receiving Gifts 1

Words of Affirmation is my primary love language, "Actions don't always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, "I love you," are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving."

Based on your results, would you say that your love language is important to you to feel loved by someone? This is not just from your partner, this applies to all relationships.

I would say that words of affirmation are very important to me. From friends, family, and from a partner as well. I believe that without them, a relationship would be a bit difficult." Love languages can’t fix everything, of course. They’re not going to solve your joint money problems, for example. They’re not going to make your in-laws more tolerable or get your partner to help out more around the house. But the concept does go a long way in communicating better, and we all know how much that matters in a relationship." https://lifehacker.com/how-the-five-love-languages-can-help-you-win-at-relat-1734348074

I also realized that the love language I want is typically the one I give. I like to tell my friends how much I appreciate them and how much they mean to me. (I don't really do it with my family much since I was raised to keep my mouth shut about those things. Now that I think about it, that's probably why words mean a lot to me now.) Anyway, what I want, is what I give. Once I find out someone's love language, I try to exude that love for them a bit more.

Updates

+1 y

Forgot to mention, I asked this question so people could learn a bit more about themselves, and potentially their loved ones. I thought it would be useful for some people to apply this information to their life to possibly improve their relationships. :)

[9teen]

I guess this is true. I love indirect actions and being helped out or doing something together. It tells me a lot about how he feels towards me.
I don't really like the thought of holding hands, pda, hugging every time without leading it to anything or without meaning at all etc but I love being intimate constantly (yup the dirty stuff).
I certainly love quality time but not 24/7. There are other things to do in life as well and sometimes I just need solitude. He surely has other things to do as well.
I like to get complimented and to get reminded my value to him but not constantly as well. Every thing has it's right time. Saying it constantly will lose it's effect and probably it's value.
I don't really care much about gifts because to me the indirect, the silent actions say a lot more to me than direct actions. I don't need to be showered with gifts. If I get one full of meaning, I'd certainly appreciate but I surely not depend my relationship status on receiving a gift.

[kaskas19]

Thanks for explaining ! That makes a lot of sense. It's good that you know what you want, and why you want it. :)

[CarpetDenim]

10 Physical Touch
8 Quality Time
7 Words of Affirmation
5 Acts of Service
0 Receiving Gifts

[CarpetDenim]

@disgustingweebtrash This is interesting

[kaskas19]

I'm sure weeb will be excited to see this

[CarpetDenim]

@kaskas19 Maybe. Really kind of ironic though, I’ve only ever been in long distance relationships and my “primary love language” is evidently physical touch. I was expecting to score way higher on words of affirmation honestly. Maybe the idea of physical contact just means more to me because I don’t currently get any of it at all?

[kaskas19]

I'm in a long distance relationship too, I believe my boyfriends' primary love language is physical touch as well. His secondary is quality time. RIP.

I believe it could have affected your scores. Same as how I mentioned I don't receive Words of Affirmation often, so it is something I need now. :)

[CarpetDenim]

Yeah, that makes sense to me. I feel like the people with irl relationships who can see their partner every day and who can touch them, hug them, or just hold their hand or whatever whenever they feel like it really take that for granted. It’d literally mean the world to me to get to do that with him, I’d probably get so happy I’d cry lol.

[kaskas19]

I agree! I feel you there! It's pretty hard sometimes. I hope things are going well with the both of you :) It will be worth it in the end :)

[CarpetDenim]

Right back atcha.

[disgustingweebtrash]

I will look when I get home

[CarpetDenim]

@disgustingweebtrash Okie

[disgustingweebtrash]

11 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
6 Physical Touch
3 Acts of Service
0 Receiving Gifts
Physical touch should be 100

[CarpetDenim]

@disgustingweebtrash I will give you lots of attention and praise 😤

[CarpetDenim]

@kaskas19 thanks

[CallMeDave]

Wow, a perfect 12 on Words of Affirmation! That's the highest possible score. My top two are Quality Time and Physical Touch. Those are the same top two as my girlfriend which makes things easier. (We both like to spend a lot of time together and have a lot of physical contact so we have fewer disagreements about those subjects than a lot of couples.)

In fact her scores were nearly identical to mine. The languages were in the same order, but she had one more point on one of them and one less point on another. So I wouldn't completely rule out the possibility that someone else has the exact same scores as you - though I think 12s are pretty rare. I've recommended that quiz to many people and quite a few have told me their results and I don't remember anyone else reporting a score higher than 11.

[kaskas19]

Woah, I had no clue it was the highest possible score.

I bet it must be easier having the same love languages, that's pretty awesome! I'm happy to hear. I'm sure it must make things easier :)

I only said he got the same scores as me because he posted it a few seconds after I posted my question. The test takes a few minutes. It just seemed a little strange. :)

[CallMeDave]

I just realized I didn't respond to all of your questions. Yes, I do think my love languages are very important in me feeling loved. My score match up very well with the things that make me happy in a relationship. If my partner's not willing to spend a lot of time with me, I start feeling unloved. That in fact was one of several factors in my divorce. Also, without a significant amount of physical contact (not just sex, but things like hugs or being in physical contact while sitting watching a movie), I get discouraged.

Regarding your comment about the one you want being the one you typically give, I think that's the easiest thing to do since it comes naturally. I think that's part of why my girlfriend and I get along really well. Our scores are nearly identical, so it's not hard for us to give each other what we need. If you're in a relationship with someone with significantly different scores though, you need to be aware of their scores and do what THEY need/want.

[kaskas19]

Thank you for answering everything!
I can definitely relate to how to can feel unloved if that specific action isn't given. Without someone just telling me how they feel about me, I'm stuck guessing or sometimes unsatisfied in my relationship with that person since I start to feel unloved. I value relationships where they tell me that they appreciate me etc.

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce, but I'm glad to hear that things are much better with you and your girlfriend! Identical love languages must make things much easier!

[CallMeDave]

Yes, the maximum score on any language is 12. The scores can range from 0-12 for each one.

It is a lot easier having almost identical scores. We rarely have disagreements about whether to do something together or separately because we both like being together. I don't think we've ever had a disagreement about gifts because we have identical scores on that too. We're both happy with the words of affirmation we get from each other because we both need/want the same amount. It's SO much easier than it was with my ex-wife who had significantly different scores.

You could be right about that guy posting the identical scores since he did it so quickly, but I know my scores so I could post them immediately too without having to take the time to take the quiz.

Personally, I think if everyone knew their scores and their partner's scores and took them seriously and acted on them, a lot of relationships would be happier.

[kaskas19]

Ah, I see.

I'm glad to hear things are easier :D I agree, a lot of people aren't aware of the love languages, or just brush them off and don't apply them to their daily lives. It would make relationships much more pleasant and successful.

[dangerDoge]

10 Quality Time
8 Physical Touch
7 Words of Affirmation
5 Acts of Service
0 Receiving Gifts

I do find quality time important, but I think I’d like to qualify the score about physical touch. I’m not a touchy feely person myself as it describes on the site. However, I do find the acts of hugging and such “meaningful” which is why I have it highly rated. In other words, I may not be a super-hugging sort of guy, but if someone does get a hug from me, chances are that I care for them one way or another.

[kaskas19]

That's really interesting actually. Thank you for sharing. :)

[jennifer_bloom]

I would say Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts and Acts of Service are all equally my love languages.

[Whatthefluff]

Physical touch and quality time

[ShortCircuit]

Your Scores
10 Physical Touch
10 Words of Affirmation
6 Quality Time
3 Acts of Service
1 Receiving Gifts

Physical Touch
"A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches communicate warmth, safety, and love to you."

That's the thing, my primary love language really doesn't apply to me outside of romantic relationships. I'm not a "touchy" person. In fact, I never touch my friends or family. It's probably been 5+ years since I've been meaningfully touched by another person. The whole notion of being physically affectionate with anyone besides a romantic partner is just weird to me. It's something I reserve exclusively for relationships, but when in a relationship it is the single most important thing to me.

... If that makes any sense lol

[kaskas19]

That makes perfect sense :) Thanks for sharing !

[ShortCircuit]

Sure, no prob

[AlienChickk]

I'm very similar, though physical touch isn't my #1. With friends and family I'm not very touchy, I have a pretty strict personal bubble. When I'm in a romantic relationship though, I always like to sit right next to them and generally a lot more touchy.

[ShortCircuit]

@AlienChickk Glad to see I'm not the only one lol

[Adam_INTJ]

I knew about this a while ago. I give love primarily through acts of service, words of affirmation, then quality time (and I'm trying to learn physical touch)

I recieve primarily through words of affirmation, then quality time, then acts of service, then infrequently touch and gifts (physical touch gets me kind of nervous - could be because I'm an introvert, and could be because I'm a guy and people take things way too seriously nowadays.

[kaskas19]

Nice! Thanks for sharing! :)

Physical touch makes me nervous too, but the only time I really use it is in a relationship if I start feeling comfortable with them.

[CallMeDave]

@Adam_INTJ, I'm not sure that the nervousness about physical touch and being an introvert are related. I used to be very introverted (and still am to some extent), but have always like physical touch. It's good to learn it though, especially if you get into a relationship with someone that has a high score on it.

@kaskas19 I think it's interesting that physical touch makes you nervous when it's your #2 love language. I would think you would crave it. Do you know why it makes you nervous? Is it because you're afraid that your partner would want you only for sex if you had a lot of physical contact?

[kaskas19]

@CallMeDave I'm not a physical person unless I'm finally comfortable in my relationship. Sometimes I am afraid I will come off as too touchy and clingy if that makes sense. I also don't like being touched until I am comfortable with them. (Hope this isn't confusing.)

[CallMeDave]

No, that's fine. I just thought it was interesting that your #2 language was something that made you nervous early in a relationship. I've always liked physical contact even in the early stages of a relationship. Not sex right away, but other forms of affectionate touch.

[kaskas19]

Ah I see. I can do it, and it does mean something to me, it just still makes me a bit nervous.

[name_is_eric]

11 Words of Affirmation
8 Quality Time
6 Acts of Service
3 Physical Touch
2 Receiving Gifts

Words of Affirmation:
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important— hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. You thrive on hearing kind and encouraging words that build you up.

I don't really get hurt from words, but sure.

[DanielOfTheNorth]

10 Quality Time

9 Words of Affirmation

6 Acts of Service

5 Physical Touch

0 Receiving Gifts

[KAF87]

Not signing up for one more contact info grabbing profile. I tend to give compliments and gifts. I'm not rich though. I don't mind service or helping people but I don't consider that intimate. I like receiving compliments, don't care all that much to receive gifts. I'm fickle on the having someone do a service, sometimes it means the world to me, sometimes I may forget to thank you. As for quality time, well I like us time best.

[Udbhav_Bantwal]

This is my score and I agree with it, my primary languages are quality time and words of affirmation, physical touch comes second and acts of service come third... I don't really care much for receiving gifts unless they have a deep, thoughtful meaning...

[TuMeManques]

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Basically I want everything except for gifts. There are many ways to my heart lol

[SweedyPie]

10 Quality Time
9 Words of Affirmation
6 Acts of Service
3 Physical Touch
2 Receiving Gifts
Yes, these results ring true to making me feel loved either familial, friendship or relationship wise.

[kaskas19]

Thank you for sharing :)

[SweedyPie]

You're welcome, glad to participate 😊

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have tried to guess each others love languages before. He guessed my top 2 were acts of service and gifts. I sent the link to him and I'm guessing his top 2 will be physical touch and quality time or words of affirmation

[HOAAH]

Mine is similar to yours

[Juxtapose]

9 Quality Time
8 Physical Touch
8 Words of Affirmation
3 Receiving Gifts
2 Acts of Service

I prefer my partners to be able to chill and express affection to me without having to spend money or do my dirty work.

I would much rather have someone who is very expressive with affection but lazy and cheap rather than someone who busts their ass and gives me a lot of things but never showed me affection in other ways.

[Juxtapose]

*shows

[sawno]

Not going to do a Quizz that wants me to expose private information for something i already know. For me its word of affirmation, physical touch, a mental bond and a bit of acts of service.

[curiousscorpio89]

I took this a while back. If I remember right my score were

10 Words of affirmation
8 Quality time
7 physical touch
4 acts of service
1 gifts

[curiousscorpio89]

May not be exact, but I know it was in that order

[kaskas19]

Ah, that's nice. Thanks for sharing!

[Smegskull]

How typically masculine lol I just want to hang out and get physical, I don't want help with MY stuff because it's MY stuff and I don't need your gifts.

[PeterB1517]

I thought it was a repetitive and not very good quiz. The 2 options weren't clearly related. And I don't trust answers I gave.
Your Scores

9Quality Time
7Acts of Service
7Words of Affirmation
4Receiving Gifts
3Physical Touch

[blubblubblub]

i feel physical touch is how i express my love, but acts of service is how i interpret love from someone

[Ledoyen]

Glad someone else il talking about love language, by the way mine is physical touch.

[WeirdoWerdo]

Yep..

[kaskas19]

That's interesting :) Thanks for sharing.

[WeirdoWerdo]

Interesting? How so?

[kaskas19]

It's weird seeing people with such different scores, since we all feel and give love in such different and unique ways. It's really cool to me, I don't know.

[AllThatSweetJazz]

8 Physical Touch
7 Quality Time
6 Receiving Gifts
5 Acts of Service
4 Words of Affirmation

I like being very physically affectionate and just spending comfortable time together. Gift show investment. Service and words don't speak to me.