I started a job and got misgendered (called "he") by a manager I was working with today and I was going to quit but my manager didn't want me to she let me come home early and said she'll talk to people about it but I'm pretty sure that won't make anything better do you think I should just never go back?
This is the first time I can remember being misgendered by someone who isn't family in forever. I tried to not let it bother me but I couldn't help it. I feel hideous and awkward. I hate how they make everyone wear the same guys t shirt. The cis women all have bigger hips and breasts so it's not a problem for them. I just wish I could make it not bother me. I feel hideous. This is how I'm supposed to dress for work and yeah it does kinda make me look like a man.
Yes you need to go back I look at it like this guy wouldn't go back because he doesn't want to work anyway. So he's looking for any excuse a woman I guess she's going to go back because she's going to stand up and make a point and they don't run from anything how to make a choice. If you had a kid right now what would you do would you teach that kid if somebody calls you a name you quit fuck no teach a kid who you are how to be tough that you strong independent it's your choice you have to figure out the right reasons to go back or not go back
If we are all created equal being called the wrong gender should not bother you. The only “respect” I expect at my job is getting that paycheck. I don’t care what people think of me at work. I just care about doing me best and getting paid for it. My respect is earned outside of work. What I have earned, what I have accomplished, and what I do for my community.
Depends if you want a job or not. The thing you'll need to realize in life is, you cannot make others call you what you want to be called. If we had that kind of power, no one would ever be able to insult or degrade others with words.
Don't even try to make others change. Change yourself instead to be okay with it and don't let it bother you. It is going to happen time and time again.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
If it’s making you feel bad I don’t think it’s a good idea. You can try to have a professional and polite discussion with the supervisor about how it’s making you feel. If nothing changes after about a week, try finding another job. Hope things work out. <3
An easy enough mistake to make, for at first glance you do look like a man... Sorry.
Try doing your hair differently, and if there's no work code regarding makeup then apply a little.
If you were only to start putting more effort into your appearance and stop all this ridiculous self pity, your life might just start getting a little easier.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
If this is enough to make you quit, life is going to shit down your neck and make you cry like a baby.
Grow up or else when real problems, actual REAL problems come along, you simply won't know how to deal with them.
at my age I know about a little something called empathy, I recommend putting that into practice. I also know the devaluing someone else's struggle is shitty thing to do. That wasn't advice, nothing you said was helpful. Her problems are real to her and something that effect her. Just because they aren't YOUR problems don't make them any less valid. If you want to shit on people who are obviously struggling, that speaks more about you and your character than the people you shit on.
@Subarugirl one generally doesn't need to disguise themselves if giving "good advice", and he knew the negativity and harsh tone wasn't something he wants associated with his actual account.
That said, while harshly delivered, I agree with the basic premise that you can't just run away from adversity, or you will continue to be increasingly stressed out by this world. @ElizaPam I think you should go back to the job and give it an honest effort and maybe even struggle a bit. Not everyone is going to be kind, no matter your gender or cis or trans status. There are many cis and trans-females who don't look as feminine as you; my advice would be not to put too much emphasis or allow how you are perceived or judged to affect your emotional well being if you can help it.
Oh lands. Mistakes happen. The number of times I've been called "sir" at work. It's fine. Take a breath, and move on. If you let this get to you you're going to have a very difficult time at this job and in life in general.
Sounds like you need the money. Keep the job and politely remind them of your pronouns sounds like your manager is willing to go to bat for you which is huge.
You will never be a woman. Everyone who supports you does so only because it makes them feel virtuous. But deep down they are disgusted and will never truly think of you as a woman.
@JohnMarston no it's not lol nobody is born president, half the population is born female and it's not crazy to think something could happen to a male fetus to feminize it
Tbh I'd rather have this than my racist coworkers I dont think this should stop you from going to work. at least keep going and look for another job if you can't stand it.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Wtf. Are you serious? If you are you’re the definition of a ”snowflake”. Seriously thoughen up. Life’s gonna be hell for you if you get offended, and to that extent, for shit like that. Ridiculous.
sorry honey, when I was young I was mistaken as a girl, and I am all male, it isn't personal, some people are just dense... in the future... just say, I'm a Miss, not a Mr.
You are kinda ugly. I'm ugly too but I live in reality and know it. Just accept you aren't attractive to most and move on. It's not that big of a deal.
If how you look determines how you I feel sorry for you. You can feel good about yourself while admitting your flaws. It's important to recognize your flaws.
So that is no reason to quit your job. Just talk to HR about it and see if they will resolve the situation. If they don't I would file a lawsuit against the company.
Like I keep saying, get thicker skin. Instead of bitching or letting things get to you, be quiet, do your work and come home. Let them do what they want to be petty. Be better than them.
If you're complaining constantly about something, it's bitching. You have a high tendency to repeatedly complain about people being mean or teasing you. This time included.
Just suck it up. You're there to get paid, not to feel good or to get validation on yourself
Calm your fucking ass down. I'm giving advice that you apparently don't want. The world isn't going to cater to you. People are assholes. Want money? Learn to fucking deal with it. Make your money, then go do what you want afterwards. If you won't go to those people for life advice, then don't value or listen to their bullshit.
Don't want my advice? Ok, no problem. But I'll be damned if you jump down my throat for trying to help you. If you want to get coddled, called special and treated like a worriless princess, fine, go somewhere that will or pay someone to do it, because that'd not how reality works hon. You'll be better off the sooner you realize this
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