At age 13, I asked myself why is life so hard? I know this sounds ridiculous, I disliked speaking Mandarin a lot even though I’m a Chinese. What I hated the most is writing them as I always messed up and when the teacher reads my essay she couldn’t understand what I was writing about. In high school, whenever there’s a mandarin lesson I spent all of my time using my cellphone or skipping classes. All of the time I failed the exam very badly but I couldn’t fail because I will never be able to go to college if I fail the final exam. So I forced myself to improve, I managed to pass but still it’s not that good. When my mom was watching the Chinese news, I sat there like an idiot not understanding a single thing about what is happening. My mandarin is like a 3/10, I would rather improve my French language than improving my mandarin. Why should I be forced to learn a language I hate?
For now my French is like a 1/10 because I just started learning. My goal is to get it to a 4/10. As for my grandma she was very disappointed in me because I chose my own path but that doesn’t mean I hate my grandma. After all my grandma saved me when I was bleeding non stop as a child. My cousins all had degrees and they were bilinguals, I know it’s not easy to be like them. Honestly I had mixed feelings about my race I would be way happier if it’s not a must to learn mandarin. There were people who think poorly of me when they found out I couldn’t speak proper mandarin. I remembered a few of them saying “you are not white” something like that.
For now my French is like a 1/10 because I just started learning. My goal is to get it to a 4/10. As for my grandma she was very disappointed in me because I chose my own path but that doesn’t mean I hate my grandma. After all my grandma saved me when I was bleeding non stop as a child. My cousins all had degrees and they were bilinguals, I know it’s not easy to be like them. Honestly I had mixed feelings about my race I would be way happier if it’s not a must to learn mandarin. There were people who think poorly of me when they found out I couldn’t speak proper mandarin. I remembered a few of them saying “you are not white” something like that.
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