Guys, how would you feel if your girlfriend worked at your job?

[Bethany22]

How would you feel if your girlfriend or wife started working in the same office as you at work? My boyfriend told me there was a job opening at his office that I could apply to, but he didn't say it in an encouraging way. It sounded almost like he was even saying it reluctantly. What would you be worried about if your lady worked with you? That she'd be critical or too mushy or something?

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

The problem with sharing a workplace with your partner is that it can introduce a whole bunch of subtle shifts in power dynamics. Men prefer to keep our work life and love life separate because we don't want our partner to see how the sausage gets made. It kinda spoils the image of your man as this strong stoic provider when you see him getting dumped on by his superiors and constantly challenged by his colleagues. Then there's the very real possibility of his superiors secretly wishing they could fuck you, and thus undermining your boyfriend's social standing even further to try and make him seem "beneath you". This may sound dramatic, but I've seen these dynamics play out in a couple different workplaces. Any time the borders between our home life and work life become blurred, there's someone on the work side who's likely aiming to capitalise on those blurring dynamics. So your boyfriend has potentially everything to lose by opening up his work life to your presence, and nothing to gain in the best case scenario, since it's not like you'll really get a chance to spend quality time together until after the workday is done.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

I should add that these issues may possibly be mitigated if your relationship is airtight and there's nothing you could learn about your boyfriend's work life that could change your opinion of him, and you're quick to shut down any of his colleagues who get a bit "too friendly". I guess working together just exposes any cracks that are already there in the relationship, so you've really gotta be sure that you're solid enough as a couple to survive the transition to working In the same workplace. I would lean towards avoiding such a situation altogether, but some couples may be able to make it work. Not something to be taken on naively though, you have to understand how men's psyche operates and WHY we perceive such risks to mixing love life with work life. The women reading this may think I sound paranoid, but I promise you, every man here with any common sense knows exactly what I'm getting at.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

P. P. S. there's probably certain types of work where aforementioned issues are negligible. Ie: jobs without a lot of answering to superiors; a high degree of autonomy; and not a lot of colleagues to "compete" with. If your boyfriend is, for example, a park ranger who spends his workdays walking nature trails, then having his girlfriend for company on those walks could only be a plus. But in the corporate world, its a whole different reality, and not necessarily one that he'd want his girlfriend to be made to witness.

[Anonymous]

Bethany,

Don't do it!! In my humble opinion, couples need to have a healthy life of their own. Let's say you do get the job, are you prepared for the information you will learn (wrong or right) about your boyfriend. Or as you are extremely good at your jib and very professional, any promotion or recognition you get could be perceived incorrectly.

I have worked in a Corporate environment for over 30 years, and I have never seen a relationship survive all of the caddy, stab in the back and the cut throat world of "the office".

KIK

[petitedollbabee]

My boyfriend helped me to get a job at his workplace a few months ago, and we love working together. I only work 1 day a week as I’m still getting into the routine after not working for a couple years, so he still has 4 days a week that he works without me there and he gets his own space, but that 1 day a week is nice to work together.

[jennifer_bloom]

A lot of marriages happened at my old job cause these guys were desperate and these girls were old. I liked a guy and rejected a guy who showed interest cause I believed God told me to reject him.

[OlderAndWiser]

Actually, my girlfriend started working in my office last October. I am not her direct supervisor but she must do anything that I request her to do. I avoid assigning tasks to her whenever posible to minimize the chance for conflict. There are times when she questions my judgment and that is aggravating since I have been practicing law for 37 years and she doesn't have a law degree. However, I have learned to ignore that conflict.

It is very convenient because we live together. We ride together to work, we go out to lunch together about three days per week, we ride home together every afternoon, and we both do social activities with one of the other attorneys in the office. However, it is coming to an end as she is not happy with the job and is now interviewing for other positions. I will miss working together with her.

[ArrowheadSW]

Personally I would NOT like it at all. I think there needs to be some sort of buffer zone and not be around each other that much. And there could be work related conflicts that could interfere with the relationship, etc. I know one guy who got divorced after he started working with his wife.

[Phoenix98]

If any partner of mine started working at my job I guess I'd be surprised I suppose and I wouldn't be surprised if their employment there was short term as our turnout rate is pretty high we've had some people quit after working there a few days one left after an hour.

But I'd treat her the same way I treat the other employee's if she refuses to do the work assigned to her or couldn't do it just like with anyone else we'd suggest she find alternate employment or tell her to go home. That's just how our field works if you can't keep up you'll get pushed out or left behind.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't have an issue but I feel like its something you would need to discuss so to have some boundaries. As you may work in different areas so maybe it would be a nice thing to get lunch together or something but maybe not everyday. Stuff like that.

I feel like with a good relationship and good communication it would be nice to be able to see them more often depending on the work as they may end up at a different site or department.

It just seems to me. it would be important that you stay professional and such things.

I hope I'm making sense with what I've said.

[FunkyMonkee]

Fine with me! In fact, my last girlfriend DID work at my job! Or, rather, I worked at hers! She was a waitress and they eventually hired me as a clean-up guy, running the sweeper, getting the place ready for the next day's business. After a short break from this, they hired me back as food prep for the new dinner theatre they were opening and I worked at that with her for the next year or two. I was also working at the 7-11 at the same time.

[Twalli]

I would prefer for it not to happen. Maybe my wife, but not my girlfriend. The thing is that a job is very unbalanced if there is a chance for advancement. Therefore the one who has been there longer or who is a harder worker may be put in a situation where they are their SO's superior. Then the power balance of the relationship is unequal as the lower person is dependent on the higher one to remain employed. Also if you are having trouble in your relationship, having different jobs can help it by not having to be in contact with each other 24-7. You have some time apart to clear your head and calm down. if you work at the same place, you don't have that option.

[libsaretards]

I work in Corrections for a county that has 4 jails. I would not mind us both being COs for my county, but I would want to work in a different jail than her. There needs to be some time away from your SO for a healthy relationship to thrive.

[HighValue]

I'd want an agreement that discussions about our relationship with co-workers is off limits, and we can't be friends with any co-workers outside of work time or add them on social media, then it would be fine with me.

[lightbulb27]

I could do it, but never have. I tried dating at work and didn't go. I avoided it in general due to the risk of mixing job with personal life.

there's benefits and drawbacks. as long as it doesn't create more stress and improves communications ok. If puts you at odds at work and home, then bad.

[Anonymous]

If it's a close relationship, it should be kinda cool. It just depends! I would be working and still making sure he has his jacket when it's cold, his hand sanitizer and his lunch. But, not in a way that's smothering. In a way that makes the Co-workers secretly jealous; not on purpose. It's just me.

[Summeroflove]

Hey if you wanna take it take it. You won’t have to miss each other all day. Just don’t let your fights and personal drama effect your work life.

but. I would do it.

[Charlesbrandonf]

It depends on how well both manage it.


So many people couple are doing that, working together. I’d be so happy to work around my girl.


It’s not going to be a fairy tale day everyday but at least we are in the same page of how we are working together, understanding together, learning together, patching up things together, and manage space, respect each other.


But there will be definitely greater joy in working with someone i love.

[RavVid]

Better if it is not so. When you leave work you should leave work but invariably I think you would take it home if yu both are in the same workplace.

[Havthrills]

I would be fine with it as long as we get along. I lived and worked with a girlfriend for 2 years before I quit the job.

[exitseven]

I worked for the same place my wife did for about 3 years. It was actually pretty cool.

[Jamie05rhs]

That would be awkward; NGL.

However, if it was just us and we were running our own company together, then I would be okay with that.

[slatyb]

Been there. It was pretty cool. I would see an attractive woman in my peripheral vision and think "Wow, who's that?" Then I realized "Oh, that's my girlfriend."

[Koalamate]

When I was in high school 2 of my teachers were married.

They had such a beautiful relationship even worked in the same class room never over the top with affection or arguments but always communicating, asking permission, always a team.

[24_7_Amazing]

Happy and Sad. I would be so happy we get to spend every day working together but also sad because I love the fact she is a nurse.

[Lucifer_666]

I would love that because then we could see each other more often.