Men vs. Women: Who is Friendlier?

[Flatmanlewis]

This topic came up recently, at my work.

Within their own sex which are more welcoming and friendly to a newcomer? Are men more welcoming to a new guy or are women more welcoming to the new girl?

If you have a group ( perhaps a classroom, sports team, work group, school club, social circle, etc.) of two dozen men (or women) ALL of the same sex and a newcomer of the same sex arrives and tries to integrate within that group - who would have it easier? The new guy or new girl?

[sheenagwapa]

bith but men are the ones who are more willing to help. i studied law befote where the class comprise more of men than eimen. i was asked by the teacher to go in front and recite sone general rules and exceptions but i have a hard time remembering the men there helped me gave me hints i don't even know them. and i reallu have shitty memory so it looks like we are on a charade game. girls would also help if you are friends eith them but with men i don't know them but they helped me. i was actually touched by their gesture and felt camaraderie like they are my friends for so long. one time we had group projects and i have no group because i was absent so the teacher asked where i can join they're very quick to offer i ended up being the one who choose which group i wanna join. i actually wanna have male friends i just enjoy their jokes better, they just seem to be more enjoyable.


when i was in high school from all girls school we had a transition to accept male and we didn't treated the males special they wven sort of bullied. inlike when an all boys school in my place had a transition to accept females the females were treated special.

[blueonblack22]

“ we didn't treated the males special they wven sort of bullied. inlike when an all boys school in my place had a transition to accept females the females were treated special.”

You hit on a deeper issue then you realize there. Very deep issue (and problem).

The thing is men are conditioned to NOT demanding to being treated “special” just for existing. We are taught that it’s on us to earn respect via agency (what we can do and what we can accomplish).

But sometimes do need support regardless of our abilities. And every once in a blue moon someone does give it to us but we resist out of fear of looking helpless/weak.

But I believe a lot of women have no idea just how much their femininity is valued in ITSELF in society. Have no idea how special they are treated Jaír for existing compared to their male counterparts (when all else is equal).

[blueonblack22]

*just for existing

[Rosexøxø]

I think it’s about the same for both and it varies amongst individual people and groups. Not everyone is mature or hospitality-oriented. Or team-player/ build camaraderie or welcoming geared. It depends, truly.

[Rosexøxø]

Update: after reading what others said. I have to add just cause someone is calm or neutral with another person doesn’t make them friendly it makes them like neutral lol. Or at least how I see it. There’s few people who are outright jerks. Just because they aren’t jerks doesn’t mean they’re automatically by a default as friendly. Maybe courteous or doing the bare minimum. Very FEW go out of their way to be friendly to new-comers. A lot of people just let them be, I feel.

I’ve met rude men and women before. It depends on their personality and who has a stick further up the butt lol

[Rosexøxø]

Thanks for mho on my original comment! Appreciate the agreement. 👍

[Flatmanlewis]

Welcome. Thank you for a great answer.

[Anonymous]

Should have made it a poll.

Women are often friendly out of social optics. But they can be more two faced.

Men are less apt to act friendly or not caring about what other people think of them. But if they are friendly they are usually more genuine about it.

Although there is a young woman who works at a fitness gym front desk who always look down when I see her. She’s changing her hair color every week. That’s actually indicative of a depression problem in my opinion.

I tried being friendly one day telling her the blond hair color she did looked good. I did see a hint of smile on the corner of her lips. But I also saw her struggling with getting defensive about it. A part of her was suspicious that I was hitting on her. Admittedly I do think she is a bit cute but I wasn’t being rude about it.

I went to the gym again this evening and I didn’t plan to say a word. To my surprise she smiled at me briefly and said “hi” when I checked in. I smiled back briefly and went on my business.

[Flatmanlewis]

It’s interesting you offer that example. I think many women are conditioned to believe every nice word by a man is a hit on them and have a nearly instinctive response to not react well. Then, as you went on your way, it probably puzzled her and she realized she actually liked why you said.

[Opinion Owner]

Women have a natural fear of men and YET they crave attention from us. But has to be the right person and the right moment and exactly the “right” compliment.

I’m not going to initiate any more conversation with her. I already took a moment to be friendly. My compliment was genuine too. But she changed her hair color again.

It’s just ironic that she’s changing her hair color out of image issues and a perplexed desire to get attention. But when she gets it she doesn’t know how to handle it.

[Chazmatazz269]

Probably men. I’ve heard and read so many testimonials by women describing other women as “catty”. In addition, Norah Vincent lived as a man for nearly a year and journaled her experiences in a book called “Self Made Man”. She writes about that experience in great detail. How she was literally so scared of joining the men’s group that she almost bailed. Then she got there and describes being so welcomed and accepted that she had to slip away because she got choked up. It’s really beautiful the way she writes it, despite being overwhelmingly frank.
I highly recommend the book. It’s worth reading at least twice.

[Flatmanlewis]

I love a good book recommendation. I’m on it!!

[Chazmatazz269]

There are some video docs available too. She shows how she saw a professional makeup artist to get real looking facial hair and clothes that fit her to look more masculine. I recommend you take it all in if the subject matter interests you. She was on Oprah, i think.

[Nikki1989]

Men are generally friendlier, but that is usually because they are after something. There are very few genuine nice guys out there.

[Flatmanlewis]

What would a man be “after” from a new guy starting on his team?

[itsclearlynicholas]

Thats exactly right that men are ♂️👞

[Anonymous]

This is a hard choice. Men are only friendly to women who they deem attractive or pretty. If not, then they will not be overly friendly with you or treat you like a ghost. I have experienced not being treated nice by men because they don't find me attractive. There are some guys who are good guys and will be nice to everyone, even the unattractive girls, and they are genuinely friendly. Women, I would say, are superficially friendly but deep down inside they might not like you or some woman are more blunt and show that they don't like you. I feel like I can trust my frienships with men but not so much my female friendships. I personally prefer my friendships with males more than females.

[Flatmanlewis]

So, do you think you would be more welcomed by a group of all women OR do you think a male colleague would be better received by a group of all men?

[Opinion Owner]

I think a male colleague would be better received by a group of all men. Women are always finding reasons to hate on each other.

[Flatmanlewis]

Interesting. I wish I understood why that was.

[Anonymous]

I travel the country a LOT... and these are my experiences. Immigrants treat you based on work ethic and morals... regardless of gender. Women that aren't immigrants? If they're under 40, you better be hot, or you'll get ignored/bristled at and brushed off. Men are fairly even in treatment... not to overly social usually, but not going to play hoity toity with you either. Pretty level. Women over 40 are *mostly* closer to men. They want you to work and not be full of shit. They don't give a fk about your social media status or if you're Zac Efron. Basically, White and Black American women under 40 are only even superficially friendly if you're hot or show some overt type of status.

[CriticalCatDad]

Men are more welcoming to other men compared to women to other women. My female coworkers especially the younger ones tend to make up ridiculous drama to get upset at each other on purpose. Men don’t do that.

[Flatmanlewis]

Why do you think women do that?

[CriticalCatDad]

Because they’re women? I guess that’s how they test each other? I don’t know I’m not a woman.

[Flatmanlewis]

Fair enough.

[red324]

A woman will compete for a man she doesn't even like just to show her co workers she's wanted by others.

[CriticalCatDad]

To show how easy it is for her to enslave a man

[Katebfun]

Unpopular opinion. MEN. most women are petty, catty and super completive. Some are cruel, think of "mean girls" not all... Men seemed to be less emotional, chill and laid back.

[Puppystarfish23]

Men because they are used to having to distrust people and put a guard up just incase they have bad intentions

[Puppystarfish23]

Not*

[Hammywillsalot]

Intereresting question that would necessatily lead to other deeper questions. This would be a fascinating rabbit hole.


(I have no reason NOT to assume good faith on the part of the questioner, but since this is the internet, regardless of what the results are, there are compounding factors that would then need to be examine before drawing any sort of broad conclusions. I have seen questions like this weaponized by incels, so a bit of caution seems wise.)

[Xia1994]

Women are friendlier I think it’s cause we generally associate women with motherhood and with being less stronger than men in a physical sense.

[CrabCakes11]

Men are usually nice to women they want to fuck. Women are usually nice to other women and men because it’s their disposition

[DishLady]

It depends on the person -- not their gender. Some people are outgoing and some are not.

[katiesmuff]

I can't say that I have noticed much difference between the men or women when it comes to this.

[handsomelad70]

Depends on the person, but women, usually, as men are taught to be more guarded about their feelings, while women much more easily bond with other women than men do with other men.

[LiamJHayden]

I am. People are individuals and some are, others aren't. Around here, there are more women who are but my personal experience does not make it a universal.

[Anonymous]

Men are friendlier on average. Some girls will give you a bitch stare for no reason

[Flatmanlewis]

So, as a woman do you have any insight as to why that is? Not saying you would do that, but it definitely seems to be part of the female experience.

[Opinion Owner]

I feel like it's their way of saying "I'm better than you" or so they think. That's how it comes across. Sometimes it's jealousy, or sometimes it's just their way of saying we can't be friends

[Meropatrick]

My sister goes through the same thing it boiles down to women feeling threatned of a girl who is prettier or better than them. its innate and been that way since the dawn of time

[Flatmanlewis]

I can see that. Seems to me pretty girls aren’t as threatened by the presence of another pretty girl. In fact, they start trading notes on their routines and products they like. A girl who is NOT pretty, or is insecure, seems to be more unwelcoming.

[WhitneySnow]

That would never happen. We don’t have any single gender clubs or classes at my school.

[itsclearlynicholas]

Believe it or not, some straight men like myself out women to shame with how kind and considerate ♂️

[itsclearlynicholas]

Put women out to shame because I as a man am smiley, friendly and that's counter service for ya training

[itsclearlynicholas]

Even if I'm not smoking to the left ◀️

[itsclearlynicholas]

Or above 🛗

[Meropatrick]

Well compare to australian women australian men are much kinder

[Anonymous]

I think men are friendlier in general. They are definitely friendlier to women than other women are. Women can be pretty mean to each other.

[Staximus]

I'd say the the women are less friendly and welcoming around here

[Meropatrick]

Where r u from so i never go to ur country if thats the case

[EndlessVoid20]

I don't think it depends on gender I think it depends on the person.

[Kingofkings1992]

Overall I’d probably say men, but both genders have friendly people and unkind people

[Anonymous]

Stereotypically women are made friendlier than men, because women are nicer and don't get angry as much as men.

[Meropatrick]

Men are much more friendly

[sirderpsalot123]

Men by far

[whistlingwh0res]

They both scammer