Would you consider this an unsupportive family?

[s10sleeper]

My brother and I used to be close. He’s a year younger than me, and we used to go everywhere together in high school, hang out with the same crowd. We even got a place together in college. I introduced him to his now wife. When he went back to college for auto tech, he would call me with questions on cars he was working on. When needing help with something he will still call me for help. If he buys something new, he always texts me a picture of it.

I started taking care of my dad for 8 years when his health went bad. Same time my epilepsy came back and had to go on disability. I would beg my siblings for some kind of help, whether it was just a small financial, or to come help give me rides to get my dad’s errands done so I didn’t have to walk the city on foot. No help.

after years of trying new meds and recovering 2 brain surgeries alone, the seizures stopped and so I went back to school to find a career I could do with a disability. During that time, all I would hear when talking about my goals or dreams was that I shouldn’t try for this job, I can’t build a career with this company, or I shouldn’t even be thinking about wanting to buy this or that, things that I used as motivation. Another thing was I found a job listing at a company my brother worked for, but in a different department and he told me not to try because I have a family member working there so they won’t hire me.

When I come up with ideas of projects I’d like to pursue, he will talk only pessimistically, like I’m unable to accomplish it. What gets me is that the things that he’s negative about are things he’s never done, or in the case of finishing college and pursuing a career, what I’m pursuing has a huge potential of being very successful, with a much higher income than what he is making at his job.

would you call this unsupportive? And why would a family member be this bad towards someone they used to be so close with that is part of the reason they have a family?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Maybe you should just tell them how you feel. You’d be surprised how much someone can change their tone when they hear you say “Hey, I know you probably didn’t mean it like this but that’s how it made me feel. There are things I need from you that you’re not giving and that hurts me too.”

[Changiis07]

Sounds a bit negative to me. I feel like if you want to do something and you put your mind to do it than you can. Sometimes family is the one that brings you down but you just have to stick to what you know you can do, people change and family do too. They get busy with their family and such.

[MacDaddyRico]

Very unsupportive. Shame on them, that's their father too!

I know how you feel, as I have been treated similarly by my brothers.

Stay strong and follow your heart!

[DishLady]

Maybe he’s negative because the stuff is unknown to him and so he worries he won’t be able to help you. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Siblings can be weird like that sometimes.