Would you date someone who has overbearing family members?

[beebella]

Have you ever dated someone who has overbearing family members? What was/would be the last straw for you? If there is a "last straw", of course.

I would date someone who has overbearing family members

I wouldn't date someone who has overbearing family members

Been there, done that

Something else

[LesterJester]

Their family members are not the person I am dating and their opinions and /or demands are irrelevant, especially if I'm considering long term.

Maybe the person I am dating hates it just as much and if we get along great otherwise, then they have the option to piss off with me and get away from that shit.

Or not. But if their family wants to be dicks about something, I tell shit as it is. Either we clear the air then and there and move on, or I just won't interact with them... And I won't hide why to anyone.

They want to be a grown up, then I'll talk, but my hypothetical partner (and real) are grown fk'n adults to fuck up our lives as much as we damn well please. Or prove you wrong. Either way, butt the fk out, sit back, eat some popcorn and watch the train wreck that may or may not happen.

Either way, I don't tell others how to run their lives or judge them for who they are. You do you. But get into my fk'n biz, and things won't go well.

[Leonharted]

Of course. My wife's family was like that. But here's the thing: they only have power over you if you give it to them.

When I first started dating my wife, at one point my mother in law snapped at her for being late to pick her up, saying (pardon my french): "You plan your shit around my shit," to her.

I asked her how she would like to walk home. She said, "You wouldn't dare." I responded that I was driving MY car (my wife didn't have one), and that I didn't owe her anything. I was doing this as a favor to my girlfriend, and I wouldn't tolerate that kind of talk towards her. Told her to apologize to her daughter right now, or she'd be walking.

It was a very quiet drive home after that.

[FlutteringFeelings]

I honestly don’t care much for in-laws or family members of my significant other. I’m a reserved woman and whether I’m loved or not I rather keep my distance. If my man is visiting his family and asks me to tag along then I will to keep him company. I grew up keeping family at arms length because there is always tension and someone who randomly despises you. Keep it at a ‘Hi and bye’. If they like me then great for them and if not then great for them as well.


As long as my man and I are happy then that’s all that matters. Forget the outsiders.

[nice-girl]

It's not that easy unfortunately. There will be times in which he has to be there for them and you have to support him even when you don't agree that there is a legitimate reason for him to go to them. For example, my fiance takes his mom from work every day and takes her home so he goes to their house every single day. And on weekends meets them too. He goes to them when they fight with each other. Every single time his mom calls him. We live together and I don't always think that the reason is legitimate. Or sometimes I think that his brother should sometimes deal with his parents too, not only my fiance. If they were sick or if I thought that there was a legitimate reason, I mean if they really needed him, I would support him and encourage him to go to them. So, sometimes it leaves hurt feelings in your heart when he has other priorities. I I think I am like your described yourself as I am originally a distant and cold person.

[FlutteringFeelings]

Oh trust me, he would have my support 100%. When I mentioned being distant from in-laws it’s a way of saying I’m not seeking their validation. If a life circumstances comes about then I have a soft-heart for that. Always.

[WonderBell99]

Yes, i would.

I have an overbearing family, but i dont let them influence my relationships. Because my relationships are my own, and its my life. I dont get along with most of my family members and i honestly dont mind it. However, i would not date a man who lets his family interfere in our relationship, then hell to the fucking no. I have a thick skin, so i try to put up with a lot of shit

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

It depends on the extent of overbearing. I wouldn’t really mind it, but of course, I don’t really want them in every bit of our business or always wanting to watch over us or be with us when we do things.

[ManOnFire]

Have done it before. It was her father. One of the reasons we broke up.

[The_sweet_brat]

I suppose every situation is different, and it's important to remember that while you are dating that person, you are also practically dating their family too. So they will have strong opinions about you and sometimes it will be loving but other times they might actually dislike you for whatever reason. It's not fun to be in a relationship with someone you love only to be hated by the family, but sometimes if you really love the person you might continue the relationship anyways but it's just going to hurt you more in the future.

[nice-girl]

I don't think I would, but I could consider it if I liked his family and wanted to be close to them. This stuff can ruin a relationship and I am currently in that situation.
When I knew my fiance he wasn't so close to his family, but when we started living together he got closer and as the parents get older he sees no wrong in them. He would constantly fight with his father when I met my fiance, to the point I couldn't understand why. But now 6 years later he is extremely close to his parents. So how a guy is in his 20s might not be what he will be in his later years.

[CuriousJC]

Oh please. You're going to have to try better than that, because I dated women with family members that was still discriminated against people's colors to the point where I just became dull to it and just focus on the person I love. I also have a family member that's part of this post, it seems no matter who I date my family keeps calling her a scam instead of just letting it go that I got scammed a few times and she thinking it's going to happen again with the next girl and the next and the next and the next and the next and the next and the next. So yeah it's kind of hard to fall in love with someone if they're just going to fall in love for your money.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

My in-laws used to be overbearing. My husband's dad has FOMO (fear of missing out) issues while his mom always stuck her nose into everyone else's (not just their children's) business. Meanwhile, my sister-in-law is a chatterbox. And then there's my brother-in-law who has a crush on me and still tries to be cute with me. He thinks admitting to fantasize about me when he jerks off is endearing. Yuck.

Good think my husband is the eldest child and can easily tell off his parents & siblings to behave in my presence. Another good thing is that his entire family is afraid of my dad and my brothers.

[Aerissa_Jade]

Those mommy boys, run home to cry and try to turn them against me.

No thanks, I understand being close to family but not running back to them for each fight or problem to ask for advice.

I have learned to pay attention to how his family is, because chances are that is how he'll be.

[NathanDavis]

if she has a shitty family... I don't mind it because I would not be dating them

but if they're shitty and she allows them to interfere in our relationship, then no... I do not date entire families

[kyleelyn199723]

I have before and it got to the point where they knew when me and him were having sex. I did end up enjoy his parents more than him in the end, but his father also insinuated that my now ex tried to get me pregnant purposely ( I was only 18). His parents did offer me to still come over when I dumped their son, which was a nice gesture but I didn’t take them up on it because I wanted to leave that chapter of my life behind

[kyleelyn199723]

18***

[__cassiexxx]

yeah if really liked him. I’m very patient with stuff like that but I guess it would get annoying. If that was the case though I’d just fry and keep my distance from the family members or when I go round to family events I’d just get drunk to forget about it lol. I definitely would

[Alwayreckles93]

No right after when I graduate high school I was 18 at that time I was dating this guy his mom was always in between our relationship. It gets annoying and frustrated. He is 27 now I wonder if his still single because of his annoying mom always coming across. His mom hated my guts for no reason she ask him to break up with me. Which I don't mind anymore. Bit yeah Everytime we plan a date his mom would come across and ruin our dates.

[nice-girl]

If a guy is that young I think it is justifiable, but how they act later is the key. I had known my fiance when he was 26 and he would fight with his father all the time and was very distant to him. But now that he's 32 he's the opposite, too close. So, don't confuse teen years or the 20s with a man who is all the time extremely close to his parents.

[Alwayreckles93]

@nice-girl I'm not confusing anything here. He is actually 27 now about to turn 28 and still a momma's boy it has created an issue with his recent relationships. Some man never change. You can't judge unless you know how the situation is.

[nice-girl]

In my situation, mine changed for worse. He was not so close to his parents at the beginning, but getting older is becoming closer. My experience is that as he and them get older he sees no wrong in them whatever they say or do. Like she's just being a loving mom, or my dad has sacrificed so much for me. So they can do or say about anything.

[Alwayreckles93]

@nice-girl Okay I see what you are saying but at the end they're grown adults. So if do they need momma approval then that means they don't know what they want in life.

[Alwayreckles93]

@nice-girl I would say it's about time to cut the umbilical cord don't you think?

[England4eva]

It honestly depends on the person. If I’m always feeling overwhelmed by his family I’ll leave. But usually there’s a space between me and them so it’s ok. I only judge the person that I’m with at the time on their actions. Nobody else’s. But if his family are putting a strain on us I’d reconsider definitely. But it’s rare this has happened in my experience.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

I married someone with overbearing family, specifically her parents. Her mom was literally 'mommy dearest' (go watch the movie preview), and her step-dad was a pushy creep with a low IQ (he bows to mommy dearest).

It got ugly to the point that we cut off all contact with them 10 years ago, and neither of us feel one ounce of remorse over it. They are horrible people and my take on life is to remove toxic influences from mine.

[AndrewMG]

I say yes, but I'm nervous enough when they have overbearing friends let alone family members. I'm English so if I'm introduced to Strangers in an environment where Alcohol is involved I can make a positive impression regardless of who I'm talking to , anything outside that environment then I'm not so effective lol

[Prettygurl12]

My husband's family is made up of 100% Type A people lol

Obviously we got married. His family can be... a lot.

Us moving across the country for the first 3 years of marriage was the best thing that ever happened to us 😂

[nice-girl]

I envy you girl, I hope I moved far far away from my in laws too. That would be the best thing that could happen to me.

[t-8900]

only if she was willing to ignore their BS and not expose me to it either. I watched in laws be the reason for many a divorce. They need to back off and the girl needs to put them in check if they try to overstep.

[Anonymous]

Sure.
Keep in mind, if they date me and then willingly introduce me to their family and their family is like that... They know damn well that I'ma say sum shit. And piss people off and probably fight.

I don't put up with shit, idc if I'm dating you or gonna marry you. If your family disrespects me then they are going to get a response. And it ain't gonna be friendly.

[iseekpinetrees]

Doing it right now lemme tell you pain in the ass. I should have left years ago honestly but now I have a baby and gota deal with different type of his family bs.

[RHK36]

Yeah, imma try to not do it again. It usually bites me in the ass. I think if someone is close to their family and they're trash or seem like they won't get along with me then that's a no for me from now on.

[melanieeeB]

Never had that but still no, I learned from my ex stepfather... his family was awful and my momma should have known to stay away from this asshole, based on his family alone