Would you date someone who has overbearing family members?

Question

Have you ever dated someone who has overbearing family members? What was/would be the last straw for you? If there is a "last straw", of course.

LesterJester · Accepted Answer

Their family members are not the person I am dating and their opinions and /or demands are irrelevant, especially if I'm considering long term.

Maybe the person I am dating hates it just as much and if we get along great otherwise, then they have the option to piss off with me and get away from that shit.

Or not. But if their family wants to be dicks about something, I tell shit as it is. Either we clear the air then and there and move on, or I just won't interact with them... And I won't hide why to anyone.

They want to be a grown up, then I'll talk, but my hypothetical partner (and real) are grown fk'n adults to fuck up our lives as much as we damn well please. Or prove you wrong. Either way, butt the fk out, sit back, eat some popcorn and watch the train wreck that may or may not happen.

Either way, I don't tell others how to run their lives or judge them for who they are. You do you. But get into my fk'n biz, and things won't go well.

Leonharted · Accepted Answer

Of course. My wife's family was like that. But here's the thing: they only have power over you if you give it to them.

When I first started dating my wife, at one point my mother in law snapped at her for being late to pick her up, saying (pardon my french): "You plan your shit around my shit," to her.

I asked her how she would like to walk home. She said, "You wouldn't dare." I responded that I was driving MY car (my wife didn't have one), and that I didn't owe her anything. I was doing this as a favor to my girlfriend, and I wouldn't tolerate that kind of talk towards her. Told her to apologize to her daughter right now, or she'd be walking.

It was a very quiet drive home after that.

FlutteringFeelings · Accepted Answer

I honestly don’t care much for in-laws or family members of my significant other. I’m a reserved woman and whether I’m loved or not I rather keep my distance. If my man is visiting his family and asks me to tag along then I will to keep him company. I grew up keeping family at arms length because there is always tension and someone who randomly despises you. Keep it at a ‘Hi and bye’. If they like me then great for them and if not then great for them as well.

As long as my man and I are happy then that’s all that matters. Forget the outsiders.

WonderBell99 · Accepted Answer

Yes, i would.

I have an overbearing family, but i dont let them influence my relationships. Because my relationships are my own, and its my life. I dont get along with most of my family members and i honestly dont mind it. However, i would not date a man who lets his family interfere in our relationship, then hell to the fucking no. I have a thick skin, so i try to put up with a lot of shit

WhatTheHeckkkk · Answer

It depends on the extent of overbearing. I wouldn’t really mind it, but of course, I don’t really want them in every bit of our business or always wanting to watch over us or be with us when we do things.

ManOnFire · Answer

Have done it before. It was her father. One of the reasons we broke up.

The_sweet_brat · Answer

I suppose every situation is different, and it's important to remember that while you are dating that person, you are also practically dating their family too. So they will have strong opinions about you and sometimes it will be loving but other times they might actually dislike you for whatever reason. It's not fun to be in a relationship with someone you love only to be hated by the family, but sometimes if you really love the person you might continue the relationship anyways but it's just going to hurt you more in the future.

nice-girl · Answer

I don't think I would, but I could consider it if I liked his family and wanted to be close to them. This stuff can ruin a relationship and I am currently in that situation.
When I knew my fiance he wasn't so close to his family, but when we started living together he got closer and as the parents get older he sees no wrong in them. He would constantly fight with his father when I met my fiance, to the point I couldn't understand why. But now 6 years later he is extremely close to his parents. So how a guy is in his 20s might not be what he will be in his later years.

CuriousJC · Answer

Oh please. You're going to have to try better than that, because I dated women with family members that was still discriminated against people's colors to the point where I just became dull to it and just focus on the person I love. I also have a family member that's part of this post, it seems no matter who I date my family keeps calling her a scam instead of just letting it go that I got scammed a few times and she thinking it's going to happen again with the next girl and the next and the next and the next and the next and the next and the next. So yeah it's kind of hard to fall in love with someone if they're just going to fall in love for your money.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

My in-laws used to be overbearing. My husband's dad has FOMO (fear of missing out) issues while his mom always stuck her nose into everyone else's (not just their children's) business. Meanwhile, my sister-in-law is a chatterbox. And then there's my brother-in-law who has a crush on me and still tries to be cute with me. He thinks admitting to fantasize about me when he jerks off is endearing. Yuck.

Good think my husband is the eldest child and can easily tell off his parents & siblings to behave in my presence. Another good thing is that his entire family is afraid of my dad and my brothers.

Aerissa_Jade · Answer

Those mommy boys, run home to cry and try to turn them against me.

No thanks, I understand being close to family but not running back to them for each fight or problem to ask for advice.

I have learned to pay attention to how his family is, because chances are that is how he'll be.

NathanDavis · Answer

if she has a shitty family... I don't mind it because I would not be dating them but if they're shitty and she allows them to interfere in our relationship, then no... I do not date entire families

kyleelyn199723 · Answer

I have before and it got to the point where they knew when me and him were having sex. I did end up enjoy his parents more than him in the end, but his father also insinuated that my now ex tried to get me pregnant purposely ( I was only 18). His parents did offer me to still come over when I dumped their son, which was a nice gesture but I didn’t take them up on it because I wanted to leave that chapter of my life behind

__cassiexxx · Answer

yeah if really liked him. I’m very patient with stuff like that but I guess it would get annoying. If that was the case though I’d just fry and keep my distance from the family members or when I go round to family events I’d just get drunk to forget about it lol. I definitely would

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

No right after when I graduate high school I was 18 at that time I was dating this guy his mom was always in between our relationship. It gets annoying and frustrated. He is 27 now I wonder if his still single because of his annoying mom always coming across. His mom hated my guts for no reason she ask him to break up with me. Which I don't mind anymore. Bit yeah Everytime we plan a date his mom would come across and ruin our dates.

England4eva · Answer

It honestly depends on the person. If I’m always feeling overwhelmed by his family I’ll leave. But usually there’s a space between me and them so it’s ok. I only judge the person that I’m with at the time on their actions. Nobody else’s. But if his family are putting a strain on us I’d reconsider definitely. But it’s rare this has happened in my experience.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

I married someone with overbearing family, specifically her parents. Her mom was literally 'mommy dearest' (go watch the movie preview), and her step-dad was a pushy creep with a low IQ (he bows to mommy dearest).

It got ugly to the point that we cut off all contact with them 10 years ago, and neither of us feel one ounce of remorse over it. They are horrible people and my take on life is to remove toxic influences from mine.

AndrewMG · Answer

I say yes, but I'm nervous enough when they have overbearing friends let alone family members. I'm English so if I'm introduced to Strangers in an environment where Alcohol is involved I can make a positive impression regardless of who I'm talking to , anything outside that environment then I'm not so effective lol

Prettygurl12 · Answer

My husband's family is made up of 100% Type A people lol

Obviously we got married. His family can be... a lot.

Us moving across the country for the first 3 years of marriage was the best thing that ever happened to us 😂

t-8900 · Answer

only if she was willing to ignore their BS and not expose me to it either. I watched in laws be the reason for many a divorce. They need to back off and the girl needs to put them in check if they try to overstep.

Anonymous · Answer

Sure.
Keep in mind, if they date me and then willingly introduce me to their family and their family is like that... They know damn well that I'ma say sum shit. And piss people off and probably fight.

I don't put up with shit, idc if I'm dating you or gonna marry you. If your family disrespects me then they are going to get a response. And it ain't gonna be friendly.

iseekpinetrees · Answer

Doing it right now lemme tell you pain in the ass. I should have left years ago honestly but now I have a baby and gota deal with different type of his family bs.

RHK36 · Answer

Yeah, imma try to not do it again. It usually bites me in the ass. I think if someone is close to their family and they're trash or seem like they won't get along with me then that's a no for me from now on.

melanieeeB · Answer

Never had that but still no, I learned from my ex stepfather... his family was awful and my momma should have known to stay away from this asshole, based on his family alone

HawkPerception · Answer

I am dating the person, not their family. So yes. My only issue is if my partner os affected by their overbearing family and lets them make decisions for them.

TadCurious · Answer

I think I would be able to date someone like that Bella if my girlfriend understood that I would need to minimize my contact with those people.  🙋‍♂️😊🌲

DarkCarousel · Answer

Yeah, I would, if he was ok with me speaking up to them when needed. I’m pretty easy going but will speak up if necessary.

hhadeshatesme · Answer

both parents of my ex were overbearing and it really made our relationship hell. Wouldn’t want to do that again

drdank518 · Answer

The trick is to avoid them and never invite them over for fun events.

jshm2 · Answer

You're only dating them, not the family. Obviously if you decide to marry, then you'll be going no contact with most of the family.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Not really since mine are enough. Although it would be nice to date someone with a full family so I can hang out with them rather than have no choice but to hang out with mine.

Shiningtempest · Answer

@beebella I would never date a woman who has overbearing family members. I consider overbearing family members as a sign of a dysfunctional household. Thus, I don't date a woman with overbearing family members even if she's smart & mature.

Msputiton · Answer

Yeah, they ruined our relationship. We were both in hs and her parents forbid us to date

exitseven · Answer

I guess I would. I have a very thick skin and can put up with a lot of crap.

I-C3_ME · Answer

It's not about the parents, it's about the person. If I feel like she's worth it then yes, otherwise no

mona_jin · Answer

Yeah, but I might be biased, since I have overbearing parents myself.

worldscolide · Answer

Been there, done that, married her, and politely made it clear to her parents, that that kind of behavior would not be tolerated while I'm around.

Fuentes · Answer

I have done that & im not going to judge a girlfriend for parents unless they're racist i don't want my future kids to even deal with that

dolemite89 · Answer

i don’t care if a girl doesn’t get along with her family but if it consumes a lot of her time or her family is literally showing up at her place to cause drama then i’m out

sheikalana · Answer

Of course. At the end of the day I'm dating him not his family.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I would date someone who has overbearing family members

Staximus · Answer

It was stupid, couldn't take the girl anywhere and keep her out late without her dad tripping out, and she was like 23

AydenHazor · Answer

Been there, done that. I would be saying her and but get family, despite having to deal with them for her sake

G5TWA1 · Answer

yeah no problem, I'm very good at ignoring people without seeming rude

Anonymous · Answer

I can do that. Since my family is also overbearing. I simply cut them off and don't talk to them pretty much at all. It's nothing but sweet silence in my realm.

Snakeyes7 · Answer

At the end of the day, that kind of thing isn't something they can control. Maybe you can help your partner stand up to them.

A_Nihilist · Answer

My first girlfriend's parents were part of the reason we broke up. They hated me, despite me being nothing but respectful to them.

HighValue · Answer

They can go to their parents' house to visit them. I don't like ery many visitors at my house and not very often either.

Anonymous · Answer

I don’t think I’d have the strength to deal with such parents…my parents drain me all the time. Props to those who do though 🙏🏻

dudeinohio · Answer

No way. I'd only date someone who pushes back if family gets too intrusive.

ewok737 · Answer

Why walk into a situation that you don't like, or can change?

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Not unless she demonstrated that she could stand up to them when necessary.

Lisa0203 · Answer

I would as long as they were friendly and not unkind or mean.

Nerdvana · Answer

I guess If I really loved her, then I would have to. But I rather not.

loveslongnails · Answer

I wouldn't know that for a while, I presume, until I meet them?

Anonymous · Answer

Depends how that person handles and deals with them.

Sugar100 · Answer

I never met bfs parents yet not as he met mine yet so we don’t need go though that. Family destroy relationships cause drama I don’t like it

Joshua0213 · Answer

Yes defintely there are always ways around stuff like that

Anonymous · Answer

Currently in that situation. Nightmare MIL but ehhhh

clairfrasier · Answer

Not ever again. They impact the relationship too much

Anonymous · Answer

I have done that, and after being physically threatened by her family members, I decided she was not worth it.

OddBeMe · Answer

Oh yeah…that’s where you find the freakiest chicks.

BCA6010 · Answer

Sure, and I'd probably joke about it afterwards.

katiesmuff · Answer

Yes as I am not dating the family members!

Would you date someone who has overbearing family members?

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