Would you date/marry someone that is NOT family-oriented?

[Anonymous]

I know a lot of people list "family-oriented" as a desirable trait for a mate. What about people who aren't? I love & care about my family obviously, but I don't really give them special treatment over anyone else.

Just curious.

[gray_sailor]

My understanding of "family oriented" refers to the intent to have children - the desire to be a mother or a father. The family you are oriented to is one of your own making.

When a man says he is "family oriented" that implies that any woman he would be willing to commit to MUST be interested herself in becoming both a wife and a mother. If she is not so inclined, then she is NOT family oriented. In that case, the incompatible goals of the two individuals would make them poor candidates for being in a relationship. They would be better off going their separate ways.

[SunDevil11]

I like it when girls are family oriented however it is not a make or break. Although the do have to realize that my family and relatives are all very close and we do quite a lot together throughout the year so they would have to be able to handle all that comes with that

[GirlsLie]

I would, i've learned first hand that sometimes family isn't the best thing for your life. It doesn't say anything about them as a person, they could want a good family but maybe they're just stuck with one that isn't.

If you mean family oriented as far as children go then I would love if a guy didn't want kids because I don't either lol

[emmabee11]

For me no... if they don't care about family and don't treat them with respect (like non of my family members do), then i'm not interested, already got a terrible family and i don't want another one, i think most people feel the same way lol we want what we never had, that's good family.

[TheFangirl]

Yes I would, because it can seem like they aren't family- oriented, when their family is just crappy. My family can be really mean, and crappy, so it might seem like I am not family oriented, but when I have my own I will be very family oriented.

[Asker]

Yeah I think that's the problem with me, as far as my non-household relatives go.

[TheFangirl]

I know what you mean.

[MaskedSanity]

I'm not family oriented and neither is my boyfriend and I find it to be perfect.

No shitty family dinners to go to, no Christmas or other gatherings to arrange, not having to worry about countless birthdays and not having to tell anyone why our relationship is x, y or z to any nosey relatives.

We only keep in touch with immediate family i. e. mom, dad and siblings every few weeks. Maybe grandma and aunt every few months.

[CHARismatic110]

Bring family oriented is a good thing and I like when guys have that trait. That said, I understand that not everyone has a good relationship with their family which is why I don't consider it a deal-breaker if they aren't.

[Mesonfielde]

Well it's kinda odd to me that someone would just not care about their family even though they're blood related, so while that is not a red flag, it's more a "question mark".

[Asker]

What if they care about their family but not more than anyone else?

[hellionthesage]

Well what is your definition of family oriented? Its probably diffrent then others definition.

[Asker]

I feel like when people say they're family-oriented, it means they spend large amounts of time with them, put their family over everything else, "blood is thicker than water" type stuff.

[hellionthesage]

I would date them, now if they did not want a family then that would be a diffrent story. Kids are the greatest and I would very much like to have them, many of them if possible.

[Asker]

I feel like family-oriented people will give their family members a pass at doing wrong things just because they're family.

[hellionthesage]

Oh absolutely not. Loyalty is very important, however that also pertains to loyalty to self, and more specificly to ones character. If you believe it is wrong then you need to stick by that, I would lose respect for a person who can not stick by there own morals and codes. If they aren't loyal to who they are how could they ever be loyal to me?

[TheDevilInside]

As long as it's balanced. I like a guy who loves and won't abandon his family, but I don't want a mommy's boy.

[singlebee]

Yes I would date a girl like that... even i don't spend that much time with my family members...

But if not being family oriented means she doesn't want kids in future then no... I won't

[Prof_Don]

I wouldn't be compatible value wise with a woman who is not family oriented. To me family means a lot.

[Drooogie4]

I prefer that to someone who wants their family 24/7

[DontDropIt]

I wouldn't mind it. Would love hearing the story behind the "why?" also.

[GOOSEBOY78]

i could love them but my whole heart wouldn't be into it

[bubbletrouble]

No, it gives off a vibe that he doesn't want the wife and the kids and the home and all that traditional stuff. I prefer to have that in life.

[R3d_Anonymous]

Not necessarily. Some people aren't close to their families, but still want to start one.

[Goldie757]

Its not a dealbreaker.

[idkwtftoputhere]

Yes, actually that would be ideal.

[Tarvold]

Date yes. Marry? probably not.

[Asker]

Why not?

[Tarvold]

Because building a family is the whole point of getting married. Otherwise, I'd happily stay single.

[Asker]

I see. I guess I see marriage & family as separate things but I get what you're saying.

[soccergirlks]

no never. that would never be good

[Pink2000]

No I wouldn't.