Am I wrong for not wanting to celebrate my friend's undeserved promotion?

[Anonymous]

I have known my friend Rich since 3rd grade. We grew up together but took different career paths. I went to college and got a degree in business. I got an alright job, but nothing to get excited about. Rich screwed around. He took the first job that was offered to him as a favor from a friend. He hated it and complained every day. By his own admission, he was terrible and close to being fired a few times. He did the bare minimum and cut corners whenever possible. He was also one foot out the door always. Then a different company was in desperate need of a logistics manager, and they did not know his work ethic. All they knew was he had enough experience, and he knew all the lingo to ace the job interview. By his own admission, he conned them into believing he was something he isn't.
I was happy 4 him. I believed he would straighten up, and it would be good for him. He didn't change and was a terrible manager, his words. He would talk badly about his employees to me and curse them for doing things he would do himself. He would hide and sleep on the job or get caught up on Netflix, or take an hour of work and turn it into his whole day. Still, he complained constantly and talked about how bad the company is. He felt justified because they were terrible in his eyes. He also constantly complained about leaving.
Now, he has lucked into the same opportunity. A new company is looking for a senior logistics manager, and he fits their needs based on his experience and his LinkedIn profile, which is made entirely of lies. He was just talking about quitting and, and now he is acting like he is a prestigious senior manager. He admits that this is undeserving, but he will still expect me to make a big deal of it and take him out for a drink. I don't think he at all deserves this, and I am kind of disgusted that he keeps lucking into these promotions. But what are my options? Do I have to just pretend to be happy for him, or can I get away with just a congratulations and drop it?

You're not at all wrong

A friend should support a friend, even if its undeserving.

Updates

9 mo

I guess people are choosing to ignore part where I was happy for him, at first job. Him behaving like this for 15+ years but he somehow needs to be given a chance. Are you following the story?

It's also not my opinion of him. He told me he behaves exactly like this. So it's confusing why I'm the bad guy for thinking his actions are terrible.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

A friend is a friend & as for your friend I think you should be more understanding & supportive instead of being jealous. As for having a college degree, Woopdefuckingdoo & good for you bro. As for your alright job that you said is nothing to get excited about I think you should start looking for a job that you can get excited about.

As for jobs when it comes to companies those companies need to fill jobs & when it comes to promotions what some people may call underserving may be the truth however everyone deserves a chance. As for your friend he deserves a change & his company is giving him a chance & believe me down the road if he isn’t doing a good job or meeting the needs of the company they will bounce him & he’ll be out like a fat kid in dodgeball. Tell your friend don’t let the power go to his head & congratulate him.

[Asker]

More understanding of what exactly? His desire to catch up on stranger things instead of working? I only mentioned my degree to show we have been on separate paths since highschool. I was happy for him but it's hard to be now when all he does is take his job for granted. You're right. He does deserve a chance. 20 years to not take a company for granted really isn't that long of a time.

[Ninania]

Why are you even friends with him if you dislike him so much? Either you support your friend's luck or you stop pretending to be his friend.

[Asker]

Because I've known him for 35 years. I try to be loyal to him because we have known each other so long. Another post that implies I'm the problem because of my opinion of him and not him for his actions. It's not my fault he seems shitty, these are things he has told me straight up.

[Ninania]

Just because you've known him that long doesn't excuse your resentment. Be a friend or get lost. It's that simple. Doesn't matter if he's a shitty person, you're choosing to be a shitty friend. Whether his actions are terrible or not, you're the one pretending to be his friend, so how about you learn to take accountability for your own choices instead of blaming other people for your actions? "He made me do it" is not a thing. You chose to do it and blamed the other person. Grow up.

[Asker]

You're literally insane. "it doesn't matter if he's a shitty person". So pointing out him being shitty, things he's literally told me makes me the bad person for trying to stay loyal to him. What are my actions? Agreeing with him that he lucked into his position and doesn't deserve it? So he can think that about himself but if I see his bad actions and form an opinion on it I'm in the wrong and blaming others for my actions? Like, what even is this? Like he says that about himself but I should lie and tell him it's ok to sleep at work? Or I'm a bad friend? I'm so lost on your lack of comprehension.

[Abbycado]

Why is he considered a friend if you view him as such a piece of shit?

[Asker]

Every description of him here has been exactly how he has described his situation to me. Many, many times over the years. This isn't me giving an opinion on him. This is exactly what he has told me from his own mouth. So, If you think he comes off like a POS then that is the impression you would get from him if you hung out with him.

[AI Opinion]

It's understandable to feel conflicted over your friend's situation. While it's natural to want fairness, it's also important to maintain your boundaries. You have the option to offer a simple congratulations without over-committing to a celebration. Doing so allows you to acknowledge his achievement, while also staying true to your values. It's okay to feel differently about how someone else pursues their career. Focus on your own path and values, as that will ultimately lead to your personal growth and satisfaction. Consider discussing your feelings with him openly if you believe it could enhance your friendship and mutual understanding.

[Nikki1989]

Damn, I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.

[Asker]

Me or him? I like how I. Somehow responsible for his actions. People dislike the way I describe him. My description isn't an opinion of him, he's literally told me all of this from his own mouth. I also like how I'm being called jealous when he himself is the one that said he lucked into things.

[Anonymous]

You should support your friend.