Should I feel bad for not inviting my friend to my birthday party this year?

Question

Long story but I’ll make it as short as possible, my friend of 17 years since I was 9 years old and I have been friends ever since and we grew up together, we had our ups and downs like any friendship or relationship and we kept in touch after we graduated high school but fast forward 6 years later, she ends up moving since her grandma died she is living family further from me. She works long hours and I work two jobs so our schedules kind of vary but anyways we grew apart, for my 24th birthday I had invited her but she started drama with one of my other friends, she ended up getting jealous and caused a scene so I felt super embarrassed and upset at her for it. Now I’m turning 26, I have a new friend she’s 18. I know people would have a say because she’s a teen and she’s younger but we been friends since May of this year and I really wanna hangout with her more cause we vibed anyways despite the age gap and we live closer to each other. Anyways I’m not inviting my childhood friend because she got jealous last time and I just don’t want my birthday ruined, and for her to act childish. Am I a bad friend for this or doing what’s healthy?

Oliverlogan263 · Answer

Girl, I totally get why you wouldn't want to invite your childhood friend after she acted up on your last birthday. That's super not cool of her.

At the same time, cutting someone off completely who's been such a big part of your life for so long probably isn't the healthiest move either. Maybe try talking to her first before making a final call. See if she's willing to apologize and do better this time around.

If she's not willing to own her behavior, then for sure don't invite her. But if she is remorseful and you feel like you could trust her, it might be worth a second chance - as long as she understands this is it! People do grow up and change sometimes too.

Either way, it's definitely cool you've made a new friend closer to your age and stage of life. And if younger friend makes you happier, go for it! Just don't feel bad about childhood pal - you gotta do what feels right for you and your day. Try a convo first if you're really close otherwise, just do your thing and don't stress! You got this girl, whatever you choose.

Anonymous · Answer

Uhm yes. If you’re really feeling this way and wanna prioritize someone you’ve known for a few months over someone you’ve been friends with since you were kids then you just need to end the friendship all together, which is what this will do anyway. If I was your friend I would never speak to you again if you didn’t invite me. I’d take it as friendship ”break up” and never forgive you for how poorly you handled it. After all those years that’s how you end it. It’s cowardly and disrespectful.

Nikki1989 · Answer

If you feel you have a valid reason, such as a falling out or a change in your relationship, then you may not need to feel guilty.

Should I feel bad for not inviting my friend to my birthday party this year?

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