How do you deal with a manager that would sooner blame you for their problems than the actual source (themselves)?

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

[Bolt1104]

Dealing with a manager who constantly shifts blame is incredibly frustrating, especially when you know the real issue comes from their own decisions or lack of communication. The best approach is to stay professional and protect yourself.

Document everything: tasks, instructions, deadlines, and messages. Ask for clarification in writing when they delegate something, and confirm expectations before you begin a task. Keep records of what you completed and when.

If they try to blame you for something, you can calmly refer back to the facts without getting emotional.

Most of the time, blame-shifting comes from insecurity or poor leadership. They’d rather protect their ego than take responsibility. You can’t change that, but you can protect your reputation and make sure their behavior doesn’t affect your work or credibility.

Staying professional, setting boundaries, and keeping everything documented is the smartest way to handle someone like that.

[OneViewpoint]

This is a story as old as humanity. Shitty people should never be put in a position where they have power over other people. And yet they are, all the time. Why? because other incompetent assholes are making that hiring / promotion decision.

What you end up with is people with the wrong personalities in leadership roles.

• Selfish.
• No empathy.
• Zero ability for introspective thought.
• Desperate to point the finger at anyone but themselves. Insecure.
• Poor morality and ethics.
• They will lie to save their ass.
• They will take credit for other people's ideas and work.
• They would rather bully people than lead people.
• Stupid. All of the above describes someone who is just stupid at the end of the day. And you can't fix stupid.

So how do you deal with them? This isn't a game for cowards. You're gonna have to put your job at risk, document, and confront leadership with the evidence of their own bad judgement and the morale / turnover problem it is causing in their organization. HR is not your friend. HR is there to protect the company from labor lawsuits, not defend employees.

Or you simply find another job and drop the bomb on your way out the door leaving the problem to those who remain.

[RedTiefling]

If this is repeated behavior, and you're seeing a pattern then save your sanity and find another job. A manager will always win in a battle of attrition and it will always be your word against there's regardless of whatever evidence you show.

Please, save yourself the grief and just start looking for another job if you can. There is no negotiating with someone who has power over you.


This is probably about 80% of all managers. If you've already tried to communicate with them and they're being fickle or answering you like a politician than fucking run.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

I’ve dealt with people like that before.

When a manager deflects blame, it’s usually because they can’t handle accountability, not because you’re actually at fault.

The only thing you can control is your professionalism document your work,
stay clear on what you’re responsible for, and don’t take their projections personally.

People like that don’t change just because you reason with them.

You just learn how to navigate them without letting their behavior define your confidence.

[Account]

Based on my experience and my observations that cannot be changed.
People don't usually reflect on their wrongdoings/mistakes, instead they try to give excuses for their toxic behavior and they avoid reflecting within them.
I would look for another job like I have done so in the past, I would give my 15 days notice and leave.
I can't adapt to a toxic environment, it is one of the things I am unable to compromise.

[snowboarder720]

I’ve had many managers like that. They were all micromanagers that looked over my shoulder and critiqued everything I did. I really didn’t take anything they said seriously. Sure, they were my managers so I took their words in a business kind of context but inside I knew they were dead ☠️ lol

[zagor]

Bad managers are unfortunately a fact of life. If they aren't terrible in all respects you can usually deal with them by finding out their weak areas and compensating for them, or anticipating their moves. I had a manager who was very technically astute but was terrible at handling people, so I just made sure I could justify my work decisions and he begrudgingly accepted them.

[emeraldsaphire]

That's human nature, we will do anything to protect our ego. You gotta find a way to show them how to fix their problem well protecting their ego, and making the solution seem like something they want.

[YasinTR]

When a manager keeps blaming others instead of taking responsibility, the problem is already bigger than the situation itself. The best thing you can do is stay calm document everything and protect your own boundaries.

[molonski2]

Your question highlights how ridiculous the entire system is , your individual progress is being blocked by this person , I'd consider looking for another job.

[abbyjgriffin98]

I'd be very careful with that. The last thing you need in a workplace is a power struggle. Trust me, I know. I would try to stay away from them as much as possible.

[ProbablyClueless]

You ask them, very specifically what they want you to do, and you do that. And you document everything.

[AGirlNameZoi]

Because they can’t admit they're incompetent, they blame everyone else.

[BEANGENOS]

all i can think of is HR or upper management

[Northstar84]

If you can, look for another job.

[888theGreat]

I would look for another job

[NakedFunNsun]

Find another job

[In_Trance]

Stand up to them