How would you resolve this situation?

[Anonymous]

My sister had big dreams in high school of going to a highly highly selective college. She was accepted into three and then her world fell apart due to her mental health, and she’s never fully recovered. She managed to finish college while living at home. She still lives with my parents, and she struggles.


I’m married, and we have a high school 10th-grader with a natural talent for school. She loves learning. Her dream school list mirrors my sister’s and my parents are asking me to ask my daughter to NOT apply to three to which my sister got accepted.


My wife is livid and doesn’t want our daughter’s wings to be clipped because of my sister. I think there are a lot of schools and it isn’t a big deal to remove these three if it helps preserve my sister’s mental health.

We are several months off from taking our daughter on college tours, and I’m interested in your thinking.

[Agape93]

Id let my kid decide where she wants to go. She shouldn't have her future and opportunities stolen because a relative might not like it. Shit, you can even phrase it that she wants to go to those 3 schools BECAUSE she's so inspired by your sister.

[Asker]

Good point

[Zionne]

I’d prioritize your daughter’s dreams and opportunities while finding ways to support your sister’s mental health without limiting your child’s options.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Your daughter is not your sister, unless you have some reason to believe there’s something similar going on aside from their choices in schools, respect your daughter’s wishes

[Hagar88]

I just would ommitt telling them and wait to see if she gets in to those schools or intends to go to one of them.

You can't hold your daughter back because your sister might feel bad if she succeeds

Personally I would push my children to attend college close to home. When you go to college and are older you realise the cost, anything you can do to lower the cost should be done.

[Staximus]

The college your daughter goes to has nothing to do with your sister's mental health. Your daughter should go to the best school you can afford to send her to, whether your sister or parents like it or not.

[DryGermanGuy]

Your parents are nuts. What a silly request! As @Agape93 wrote, let your daughter decide.

[Agape93]

Hell tell them even someone as mentally fucked as I am can see how shitty their ideas are

[slatyb]

Your parents request is ridiculous. She should go to her top choice.

[exitseven]

just because your sister is crazy should not affect where you're kid goes to school.

[In_Trance]

This is retarded

Let your daughter apply to the schools that she potentially wants to go to. End of story