Matched with a coworker on a dating app and now it’s awkward at work?

[Anonymous]

I tried the dating apps again (sigh) and saw a guy works at the same company as me on there. We don’t work together as we’re in different departments but our departments interact often so we see each other often. We don’t talk much unless in a group setting - I found his personality to be attractive so I took note of that but that’s pretty much it.

He popped up on my shuffle and I contemplated what to do - whether say screw it and swipe right or swipe left and call it a day. I was really nervous but eventually swiped right because I thought why not, let’s see what happens. And we ended up matching and I was shocked - maybe this interest wasn’t one sided after all? The app gives us 24hrs to send a message and the other to reply - I was gonna wait for him but then said why not and I answered his ice breaker question. I kept checking all day and no response - eventually it ended up expiring. I was so bummed out and confused - why did he let it expire or was it in an honest mistake?

Did something change or did he never mean to wanna talk? We matched so I assume he had an interest as much as I did but now I’m left super lost and embarrassed because now I have to see him at work. Any insight would be appreciated!

[HawkPerception]

Don't overthink it. The 24 hour thing is really stupid. Was that Bumble? That's the only one I'm aware of that does that. If you're curious what his thoughts are, have some courage and approach him. It really doesn't hurt.

Just be like "Hey, I saw that we matched on (dating app's name). I was looking forward to your response. What happened?" If he responds positively, just ask him if he wants to grab coffee or something later and set up a date. If not, move on and fuhget about it.

[Master_Debator]

Have you considered that he probably jumped on that app during a bore fest weekend and silenced it because it kept notifying him about fake chicks that are interested. A lot of us has gotten on that app and then never looked at it again.

What if he also figured out you're real... like a real person and feels scared?

Just hit him up IRL and in person... ask him out. Grab a lunch or something with him.

Don't assume people take those apps as seriously as you do. At worst, he was interested and then he got an ear full about you from people at work. I know that's happened to me... crush gets destroyed interest wise because my guy tells me how she juggled his balls in her mouth last week.

[SueShe]

You broke the first rule of dating and that is never to date a co-worker. There are simply too many risks involved, even if you work in different departments. Never mix business and pleasure.

Apparently, he knows better not to date a co-worker and that is why he did not respond on time.

Mingling with each other at work can lead to favoritism and jealousy among other co-workers. This is the worst that can happen because the work atmosphere will take a beating and it will feel odd to have to face those that will obviously know and find out.

Just let it go and forget about that person. Nothing good will emerge from it.

[bobalife]

Although many opposes the idea of office romance… you both did matched after all. There’s a high chance he may not have seen your message or he was hesitant. I don’t think it hurts to just talk to him in-person about it. You won’t be stuck always wondering and asking what ifs. Whatever his response may be, don’t be reluctant and be proud at least you tried. Then, you just move forward with life.

Despite the risk at work, it doesn’t mean it’s always gonna be a bad idea because there’s people I know who ended up happily married from office romance.

[Levin]

Just got to suck it up.

There is some possibility that he just didn't see it anyway with that stupid 24h thing.

People will berate you for trying to date co-workers. But I actually don't give a shit about those stupid rules. If you like someone, you like someone. But yes, unfortunately part of it, is that it can blow up in your face. But I'd rather that than wondering.

Just embrace the awkwardness, honestly. Least you had the balls to try.

[ManOnFire]

Lol. I remember when I was on Tinder ages ago and saw a co-worker's mom on there, who I always wanted to smash and I think she did too. I literally spent about 15 minutes staring at her profile thinking "should I do it?" and ultimately didn't, I just swiped right.

Probably for the best that it didn't work out for you, workplace dating is almost never a good idea anyway.

[AviatorTom]

Office romance can be risky, and most companies have policies against it. He may have realized that and didn't respond to you.

There are plenty of other guys out there. Best of luck finding one.

As an afterthought, since you often see each other, you could ask him what happened, making sure it's not confrontational, just that you are wondering.

[Texaskid1]

Who knows why he did not respond but...

You dodged a bullet as dating a coworker is just bad ju-ju. Go ahead and date but do it off the clock with guys you don't work with. That way if things get heated between you ( or if it goes south) you will not have to deal with that person at work. Like others here have said messing around on the job is too risky and it can get bad really fast.

Good luck.

[HighValue]

If you matched, you both showed interest. He probably just doesn't check it every day and it expired. I didn't know they had dating sites where that stuff expires. That's kind of odd to me.

[foxsquirrell]

I think he was in the same exact position as you. He was hesitant to text you. There is a similar situation in computing I once heard. When one part of the computer is waiting for information from a second part of the computer and this second part is waiting for information from the first part of the computer and they end up waiting indefinelty and the computer crashed. It stops working. And you fucked it up.

[MrChinaski]

How is this embarrassing? You expressed interest in someone... well done. It didn't pan out this time. Neither of you have done anything wrong. No drama is necessary.

[jamesgoldman]

Hf might have not checked it, not everyone is obsessed with the system (but that coming from someone who quit the notion of dating almost a decade ago could be a flawed premise)

[Finchie40]

He probably realized you were a co worker and decided not to pursue you any further

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

I say go all in. Make him regret not pulling the trigger.

[Anonymous]

Some people just match but never talk. I get that a lot.

These people have an evil heart and no consideration for others. You dodged a bullet

[Staff2002]

I don't date coworkers. But that's just my preference.

[Twalli]

I think he probably realized that coworker relationships are not a good idea.

[Jeff51]

Don't date co workers. Co workers are only that.

[blackeagle007]

Workplace dating never works. Just a total no go

[LC75LC71]

Well that was stupid. Might as well messed it up at the jobsite and cut out the dating app!

[cutieMommy]

Play dumb and be near him. Make a dumb look and space out. Then drip all over his lovely stiff ego.

[DryGermanGuy]

If that’s someone from the USA, perfect advice for the chance of both losing their job. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Aw what does you learn? How bout stay off of the fucking apps.. Smh

[Summeroflove]

Go for it you never know if you don’t try

[In_Trance]

Don't date coworkers

[Anonymous]

You don't mess with coworkers.

[msc545]

Just ignore him and move on.

[Bklynbadboy12]

If your in different departments whats the problem

[Hulk30]

as awkward as ya make it

[Anonymous]

It's not that awkward at all.

[Tungi]

Oooh that’s not good