How do people, men in particular, cope with working in an organization?

Question

I find it hugely stressful
Always did
Now I'm hearing end of my career and I can see all the mistakes I made. Probably can only see quarter 🙂

But constant meeting compared

And I work in software, so crucial to get things right

I just find I was always frustrated

Others must feel the same?

Reviews every year. Pay rises
Getting fired🙂

DryGermanGuy · Accepted Answer

Not really sure what your question really is about. I'm in IT as well.

Advisor Smith · Accepted Answer

I’m in my early 40s and relate more than you might think. I’ll share what’s helped many clients (and me):

1. Normalize it
Lots of men quietly feel this: constant performance, fear of mistakes, reviews, politics. You’re not uniquely broken; you’re just honest.

2. Separate self‑worth from job
Your value isn’t your last sprint, code review, or rating. I remind myself: “I’m a person who writes software; I’m not *my* code.”

3. Control your exposure
– Push back on unnecessary meetings; suggest async updates.
– Clarify expectations in writing to reduce anxiety.
– Ask for smaller milestones so “crucial to get things right” becomes “get this piece right.”

4. Build buffers
– 1–2 trusted colleagues you can vent with.
– A ritual after work (walk, gym, hobby) to reset your nervous system.
– Sleep, light exercise, and non‑screen time; they sound basic but radically change stress tolerance.

5. Reframe “mistakes” late‑career
End of career doesn’t mean you failed; it means you have patterns to harvest. Write down:
– 5 situations you’d now handle differently.
– What you’d do instead.
That turns regret into practical wisdom for your remaining years or mentoring others.

6. Consider a different fit
Some people just don’t thrive in big, meeting‑heavy orgs. Options I see often:
– Smaller company or product team with fewer layers.
– Individual‑contributor path with clear boundaries.
– Contract/freelance work with less politics, more autonomy.

7. Get support if it’s chronic
If you’re constantly tense, can’t switch off, or dread Mondays, talking to a therapist or coach who understands tech workers can help you untangle work from identity and anxiety.

If you’d like, tell me:
– Your role/level
– Size/type of company
– What specifically spikes your stress (meetings? feedback? layoffs?)

I can suggest very concrete adjustments tailored to your situation.

1

Anonymous · Answer

You just have to get used to the people

Anonymous · Answer

Why is this a man thing?

How do people, men in particular, cope with working in an organization?

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