Okay this is a very embarrassing question and post to make but I would really like some advice because this has somewhat taken over my life.
So, I have been listening to kpop music for about 3 years now. At first, it was very harmless and fun but now it has made me what to change myself. I would consider myself a Koreaboo, but not an extreme one. I don't randomly say Korean words whenever I want or blurt out "Oppa" whenever I see a guy I like. To me, that kind of stuff is super cringy. I also don't own any CDs or merch from groups. Of course, I have favorites but I don't go super fangirl whenever I see them.
The thing that I would consider a problem based on my koreaboo habits would be the kpop influence slowly affecting my want to "be Asian". This is a very embarrassing thing to say and slightly racist but there have been times when I wished I looked Asian (physically). And I am not just saying to look Korean... but Japanese, Chinese, etc, literally to look east Asian. Like I said, I know this sounds very cringy and racist but I would very much like to change this mindset. I wasn't born in America and happened to be adopted at a young age. I lost my "ethnic" culture growing up and I am slightly embarrassed about it at times. I am not super confident of my background and I guess because of this, I used Asian people and their culture as something I wish i was...
This is another sad thing to say but I have sometimes convinced myself that i "look Asian". I do have blonde hair but I also have very dark eyes. They are small and have an almond shape to them. Other than my nose and chin, my face is somewhat flat. I also have researched the dna mixing of my ethnic background to see if Asians have ever mixed in, convincing myself that I have Asian in me. I also took a DNA test and found out that I was 1% Mongolian which made me happy but also sadly, I was I had more...
So, I have been listening to kpop music for about 3 years now. At first, it was very harmless and fun but now it has made me what to change myself. I would consider myself a Koreaboo, but not an extreme one. I don't randomly say Korean words whenever I want or blurt out "Oppa" whenever I see a guy I like. To me, that kind of stuff is super cringy. I also don't own any CDs or merch from groups. Of course, I have favorites but I don't go super fangirl whenever I see them.
The thing that I would consider a problem based on my koreaboo habits would be the kpop influence slowly affecting my want to "be Asian". This is a very embarrassing thing to say and slightly racist but there have been times when I wished I looked Asian (physically). And I am not just saying to look Korean... but Japanese, Chinese, etc, literally to look east Asian. Like I said, I know this sounds very cringy and racist but I would very much like to change this mindset. I wasn't born in America and happened to be adopted at a young age. I lost my "ethnic" culture growing up and I am slightly embarrassed about it at times. I am not super confident of my background and I guess because of this, I used Asian people and their culture as something I wish i was...
This is another sad thing to say but I have sometimes convinced myself that i "look Asian". I do have blonde hair but I also have very dark eyes. They are small and have an almond shape to them. Other than my nose and chin, my face is somewhat flat. I also have researched the dna mixing of my ethnic background to see if Asians have ever mixed in, convincing myself that I have Asian in me. I also took a DNA test and found out that I was 1% Mongolian which made me happy but also sadly, I was I had more...
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I know to a lot of Asians, this kind of mindset is very toxic and racist. I am very sorry if this kind of mindset offends Asians in any way. I really wish I could change it but I don't know how. It would be very nice if anyone could give me some tips on how I could make my want to be "Asian" and my koreaboo habits decrease.
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