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Dealing With An Overly Defensive Person

Dealing with someone who has a defensive personality tends to be very irritating. You can't tell them they did something rue or disrespectful without them turning it around on you and acting like the victim. They took something from you that they knew wasn't there's to take, but confrontation quickly turns into accusations that you did something wrong to them first, such as you taking that things from them first, although you have no recollection of that happening (because it didn't). They'll make up a story, true or untrue, about how you deserved what they did because you do it to them "all the time". I absolutely hate people who do this, but they should still be handled in as respectful of a way as possible.


1.) Don't be afraid to confront them.


If someone is being rude or disrespectful, don't be afraid to confront them simply because you know they'll turn it around on you. You know what grounds have been tread upon, and you need to set down some standard rules. If you don't, the person will walk all over you. It may seem as if any confrontation will lead to you being forced into the spotlight of blame, but you can't let that stop you from setting down some ground rules for the way this person can and cannot treat you.


2.) Be respectful.


These people will be complete jerks to you once confronted. They'll blame you for their mistakes, and some times even resort to yelling or catching attitudes over some random small thing later on in order to reassert their dominance over you. You may want to resort to violence once feeling so utterly disrespected while someone else is yelling at you or acting "sassy" over their own mistakes, but violence is never the answer (even when you really, reallly want it to be.) You can do a variety of things from wait until the person stops speaking to make your next point, or even simply walk away from them and cut off communication from them. If cutting them out completely isn't possible, try to just avoid them, but don't bow down to their will by "staying out of their way". You can live life as normal, simply ignore them if they try to start something that doesn't need to be started.


3.) Stand your ground.


It's very emotionally taxing to be walked over and then blamed for that happening to you. Argument may seem futile, but you need to make sure that the defensive person understands what upsets you so that they can try to avoid doing it again in te future and the whole mess of accusations can be avoided. If the person continues doing the thing they know upsets you, ten perhaps you should simply get away from them. If escape is impossible, just stop te arguments but hold fast to your right to speak up. Tell them when they upset you, and if they argue then you need to repeat that they've upset you and ask that they avoid that in thhe future. If they argue more, ignore them (which may start a physical fight, be careful) or walk out of the room so both parties have a chance to cool off.


4.) Keep the prayers for their demise in your head.


By getting rude with the defensive person, you're unleashing more hell on yourself. They'll lie to try and worm their way out of blame, and there's a good chance that the lies will be thrown around about you specifically as the person who is putting blame on them. The defensive person will argue you even when proven wrong in several instances, and they'll just keep coming up with points to try and make themselves either a victim or a higher power than yourself. Even if this were an argument with someone non-defensive, rude behavior isn't tolerable. Try to be polite, and if all else fails and they persist in their rude behavior, ignore them. It really pisses them off, but there's not much that can be said about it since you aren't being outwardly mean to them.



Best of luck to those of you dealing with an overly defensive person. It can be hard to remain calm when treated so badly, but just remember these tips and things should be a bit smoother when confronted with your next spout of accusation and blame. Good luck my friends.


Dealing With An Overly Defensive Person


Dealing With An Overly Defensive Person
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