After knowing each other for years, my best friend and I never would have thought we would fall for each other. We were like family. That's why we were both surprised when one day, we realized we had feelings for each other. We were both a little afraid to admit it, so for over a year, we simply teased each other in a flirty way, thinking our crushes would pass. However, we finally decided to give a relationship a try.
Over the last year, we had gotten to know each other so well that we could communicate just by making faces at each other. Just sitting next to him made me feel incredible. I was on top of the world when he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. However, after less than a month, we realized the relationship wouldn't work (we were in our early teens) we lived in separate towns, with no way to see each other frequently enough to support a relationship. So, we broke up. We still had feelings for each other, and our friendship grew stronger without the pressure of "What if we dated?". After another year passed, we loved each other. But a relationship still wouldn't work because of our circumstances. So, we spent nearly every weekend together and every day that we spent together was amazing.
However, he started to become a different person, and was no longer the wonderful guy I had known.
Unfortunately, I couldn't see it, and I loved him more every day. He knew this, and took advantage of my love and used me as a "side girl". Since we lived in different towns, I didn't know he had girlfriends. We would go out together, I would have a wonderful time, and then not hear from him for over a week. It would always hurt my feelings, and get me down. But the next time I saw him, he would always act like nothing was wrong and that I was the light of his life. This made me so happy. So I forgave him. Every time. On and off for over a year.
Last summer was the end of our friendship. We had spent an amazing weekend together, and I was so in love with him. Monday came, and I never heard from him. I told myself that we had just spent three days together, give him some time. By Thursday, I gave up. The next weekend, his brother told me he'd had a girlfriend for over a month. I was heartbroken, realizing it had happened again, and that he had used me. My heart literally hurt in my chest. I went home and cried for hours. I decided then that we were done forever. The weekend after that, my best friend showed up, assuming I knew nothing about his relationship status, and proceeded to flirt with me. I walked away without saying a word.
I don't know if he ever realized I knew what he was doing or not, but I do know that cutting contact with him improved my emotional and mental health. When your heart is physically hurting, then the relationship can't possibly be good for you. The night it happened, I was afraid I'd have to go to the hospital.
Looking back lack on this a year later, I realize that he was my first love. Maybe he knew, and that's why he thought he could use me. Maybe he was just an awful person.
It took me over two years after our breakup to get over him. I loved him, but he no longer loved me, and I lost the best friend I had ever had.
(On the plus side, he's the reason I created an account with GaG. 🙂)
I know that a lot of friendships turn into successful relationships, but not all of them do. For example, a boy in the grade below me at my high school is going through a similar situation with his first love, so I'm writing this for him, in the hopes that he finds it.
Thank you readers for checking out this myTake. I wish you success with your best friend (if you're thinking about dating them, or even just as friends) and a long and happy friendship.
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