Bad Mistake? I made out with my best friend?

[Anonymous]

I've been best friends with this guy for about a year. He originally asked me out and I said no because at the time I wasn't attracted to him. Throughout the whole year I've been very confused about this friendship, because I sometimes feel like I like him and sometimes he really just feels like a friend or a brother.

Anyway we got a bit drunk the other night and he kissed me, I kissed him back and we made out for about 1/2 an hour. He drove me home and we made out again (I started it this time). Then I invited him over yesterday and the same thing happened.

Now I find myself wondering whether this is a good idea, but I don't actually feel guilty about it? I don't know whether I actually like him cause it doesn't actually feel anything like other guys I've liked and I'm not crazy about him. He's alright looking but I don't even find him all that physically attractive.

I guess a relationship with this guy is probably where I don't want to go but I'm not even sure about that? And is it fair to start or continue something I'm not sure of? I mean it's hardly fair to him, who actually knows what he wants, and I really don't want to hurt him. But then, one drunken kiss can be shrugged off, but a fully sober follow up? What's going on here? Can anyone explain? And is this going to f**** up the friendship? Advice please?

Updates

+1 y

Just reviewed this answer from a few months ago...thought I'd update. DJMicDaddy was right, there's something really awesome about having your best mate as a boyfriend. As least, that's how it's turned out for me :) Thanks heaps.

[DJMicDaddy]

My girlfriend and I started out as best friends. Like BEST friends. Eventually, we got to that point where we started kissing and making out. She knew I'd been wanting to be in a relationship with her for months before that, but I was still waiting to see if she was at all interested. but we talked about the making out. She told me she didn't want to hurt me, or lead me on, nor did she want this affecting our friendship, since it was so important to us. So basically, we made out, but it didn't originally mean anything to her. Well, we've been dating for almost 10 months now, so obviously something changed somewhere along the way.

I think it's important that you talk with him and tell him that you're not fully having those feelings for him. Ask him how he feels about it. After all, you're best friends, and best friends talk, right? So talk to him about it. That's extremely important.

You also need to figure out what your feelings really are. You certainly don't want to lead him on, because if you do, and then drop him after you realize you don't really feel anything for him at all, then that will most certainly affect your friendship in a negative way.

I'll tell you what, though. The fact that she and I were best friends before we started dating is what really makes our relationship so special. We know everything about each other, and nothing, NOTHING is awkward. We can talk about literally anything with each other. It's so important for you and the person to date to actually be FRIENDS too. And if you can have your best friends as a best friend... then that's something really, really special.

I wish you two the best of luck, no matter which direction your relationship with each other goes.

=]

[Wassup]

Wow.There's not a lot of guys that have had that happened to them. That's really rare. Its like you pulled yourself out of the friend zone hole. But I guess that girl liked you anyways so you had some help. You're pretty lucky.

[DJMicDaddy]

Thanks. =] I feel so too. Let me know how that goes for you. I'd like to know.

[DJMicDaddy]

I'm super glad that worked out for you! I haven't been on here in ages, but I saw your update and it made me smile! Hope all is going well! =]

[Asker]

Thanks! Hope all is going well for you too! So far, so awesome :)

[Stormygirl87]

I have been in this same situation. It's tough because it makes you wonder how things got so complicated when you never intended for it to go so far. If you want this guy to still just be your friend you need to put a stop to it right away, otherwise you are going to risk hurting your friendship. If you want to be his girlfriend that's one thing, but if not then you need to talk to him and be completely honest. Tell him that you don't want to hurt your friendship and let him know how much his friendship means to you. Just be honest with him, but don't tell him you aren't attracted to him because that will just hurt him. Tell him that he is your best friend and you don't want to complicate things. Explain that you have feelings for him in that way and you were drunk and didn't mean for things to go so far. And trust me, if you aren't sure that you want a relationship with him then you probably aren't ready for it at the very least. You could even tell him that you just need time to sort things out because you are really confused. If you have any other questions just ask.

[kiolomey]

It's much more fun and loving when your boyfriend/girlfriend is your best friend. Don't let people tell you otherwise, they're just bitter it didn't work out for them and blame it on the fact they were best friends.

[DJMicDaddy]

best friend as a boyfriend* =]