Mother, You Have Kids, So Please ACT LIKE IT

[Hasaboyfriend]

My mother has 5 kids and is only 36 years old. She doesn't act like it though. In fact, she pretends like she's never had kids, then puts it on me.

I'm a teenage mom, who never got pregnant. My sisters are treated like my daughters, while my mom goes out with her boyfriend and parties until she passes out in a bush drunk. Her boyfriend always takes her to these classic and expensive places, but she just ends up acting trashy and gets flat out drunk. She is a party animal who acts like she's still young.

WOMAN, YOU ARE STILL A MOM! ACT LIKE IT!!! You are leaving these kids on ME, a 17 year old girl who is looking for a job and has a social life that is faltering. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND WHO LOVES ME BUT YOUR STUPID KIDS GET IN THE WAY! They're not my kids, they're yours! Stop getting mad at me for messing up with YOUR children. I'm not a mom, I do not have a maternal instinct nor do I even have the know-how to take care of kids. I just want to run away at this point.

Anyone else have stupid parents that act like they don't have kids and get smashed-face drunk every weekend, or am I the only case? Should I still watch her kids even though I have a social life and go out with my boyfriend sometimes? Does anyone know how to get out of these situations?

[Somewhat_Normal]

I honestly feel bad for you. I once had to look after my cousin for a weekend and that was hell, I can't imagine what you're going through. I mean, they are your siblings and you are the oldest, so I would think that you have some degree of control over the others. These kids, and you, in the future will look back on their childhood and think of it as a time when their emotional needs were not met, feeling dismissed and having to take on adult levels of responsibility, such as yourself. I suggest you face-off with your mother when she's sober and explain to her the situation at hand. Leave things up to her for a few days and come back and see how thing's have played out. Other than that, I'm not sure what else you CAN do.

[Hasaboyfriend]

I'm actually not the oldest, my brother is 20 now but he lives with us and does nothing since he can't get his birth certificate (his birth was not registered, so we'd have to go two provinces away just to register it) and he hates kids so he refuses to babysit. I still babysit though because I don't want them left alone at home like I was when I was a child.. My mom left me alone as soon as I could speak sentences and call 911.

[zombiebabe]

sorry to hear that... i hope your mom will become mature
great take

[PiscesEyes]

I dont have younger siblings. But my mom was a teenage mom. And now I feel like I'm the parent and she's the child. Its really difficult... i feel like im missing out a lot in life because of her even though i am an adult now (its conplicated), anyway... I do feel like I can relate. And I do know other people that have been in your shoes.

My best friend had to raise three of her siblings while her mom got high etc... and she couldnt call cps out of fear of spliting them hurt or getting abused when her mom lied her way out of the charges

Its sad how often older siblings get stuck in these enviornments. I like the one persons advice of aeeking teen support sites/groups they be able to help you better.

I'm sorry i can't be of much help myself, but I hope the best for you.

[Brokenheartedx]

And that there lays the problem.. your 17 she's 36, she was a teenage mum and brought you up.. now because your old enough she's making up for lost time which isn't fair on you.. And it isn't fair on you.. you need to tell her and out your foot down and tell her that you can't babysit your siblings anymore.. your not an unpaid sitter...
Remember the stupid kids your on about are still your brothers and sisters, you have to feel bad for them.. so what do u think u should do? Where's your dad... why isn't he involved in your lives? he should take responsibility... don't u think?

[Hasaboyfriend]

Well my mom slept with a lot of guys so we all have different dad's except my younger brother and I, were the only blood siblings. And all the "dad's" either have tons of kids of their own or they break my little sister's heart and say that it's not his kid...

[Brokenheartedx]

This isn't fair on you... you are not your sisters mum.. have u tried speaking to someone to help u?

[Brokenheartedx]

Ur Not from UK so I can't give u numbers for support groups...
Try mumsnet for advice from people in your area or go to UK childline Website and put a notice in for Canadian help... I'm thinking social services need to be involved if the situation is bad for u...

[Hasaboyfriend]

I refuse to get cps involved because the last time they were involved in my life I was sexuallly assaulted and had to go through months of questions and police and years of therapy that ended up doing nothing good. The cps system is corrupt, and I do not want my little sisters going through that.

[Brokenheartedx]

I don't kno how the social works over there for u but here they don't take kids away they work with the family to improve life... I don't know how else to help u but ur mum needs to start putting u kids first.. it's not a healthy environment for any of u

[Zumba_dancing_27]

Write her a letter or an email to tell her how you feel, but don't expect her to change over night, some people just don't know how to handle having children now a days it seems like. Maybe find help at a church or somewhere they can help with the other children, so you can have fun with friends and maybe go do something teenagers like to do. Just let your mom know, how you feel she won't know unless you tell her. Maybe say you want to leave and never come back, if she doesn't get her act together and take care of your kids.

[Zumba_dancing_27]

Maybe set up and meeting with her to tell her how you feel.

[Zumba_dancing_27]

Just her not her boyfriend and tell her she has to listen or I am going to stay somewhere else, so I can be a teenager.

[Spiorad_Aisce]

I hope your rant has cleared your head a bit - That is a very bad situation, the kids have to come first so make sure they are looked after - Is there any relative on your mom's side your grandparents/uncles/aunts who you could ask to give your mom a lecture about responsibility - Apart from that I would look at teen support sites for advice, counselling, stories for you to look at and see would anything from there help you out.

[Hasaboyfriend]

My grandma lives with us, but she is not mentally fit to even take care if herself, and well my aunties don't like her and my grandpa is just as bad as my mom..

[FatherJack]

I'm a single dad , I know parenting is hard , but I willingly sacrificed a lot of my own life to help make my 2 the best they can be. This is totally wrong , your mother is being downright irresponsible , now you resent your younger siblings , this is not fair on any of you. You need to tell your mother to grow up !!

[Hasaboyfriend]

Haha I wish, I'm planning to move out early if I can. It's just so hard finding a job with no job experience except babysitting infer your belt, and employers look at my resume and make a sour face that I'm still going to school, so I doubt I'll get hired :/. My boyfriend has been looking for some job for over a year now and he has lots of job experience and no one will even look at him.

[BiscuitesSwag]

I'm sorry for you. .-.
Can't you go out when she does and let your brothers and sisters for a night alone so she sees that you aren't responsible for them?

[Hasaboyfriend]

I wish I could but my mom would literally cry and yell at me and pull me from the door if I tried to leave without her permission...

[shadowlegend]

So report her or ask for guidance from other adults you know. Bitching and moaning doesn't help anything.

[666threesixes666]

i agree, get cps involved.

[Hasaboyfriend]

@666threesixes666 haha last time cps was involved I went to a terrible foster home and was sexually assaulted there.. I'm not letting my sisters have that experience.

[shadowlegend]

Did you bother to report the abuse? Because that was really silly if you didn't. You can also speak to another adult and seek guidance from them.

[Hasaboyfriend]

I did report my sexual abuse to them and they didn't do much but investigate the foster parents and there was a lot of court stuff but I barely remember the stuff that happened after the abuse all I know is that they could find no evidence so they're still foster parents today..

[shadowlegend]

The best thing you can do is keep speaking up. Keep making a fuss and be assertive if you want to do any good for you and your siblings.

[phil2]

Did you let your mom know this? Maybe you can talk to her about paying you to babysit for your siblings or paying someone else to babysit?

[Hasaboyfriend]

My mom has no money to pay for a babysitter she is taking care of 4 kids because one moved to his dad's and she is the only one working

[666threesixes666]

she has no money from going to the bar, get cps involved. to get me drunk at the bar takes at least 20 dollars. she's doing that daily?

[Hasaboyfriend]

@666threesixes666 she sucks the money from her boyfriend to get drunk

[lazermazer]

Watched Shameless, its so awesome and completely describes you.
Anyhow, i wouldn't take that shit

[Hasaboyfriend]

Shameless? Is that a show?

[lazermazer]

One hell of a show, GoT sucks.

[Anonymous]

Just go out before her so she doesn't get a chance to ask you

[SadlyTrue]

I understand. Nice take

[Anonymous]

Omg sorry.