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He's Not My Father, But He's My Dad. (Page 2)
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I think dads can do lots of good to his daughters. Or lots of bad. But what is more important is the girl having a good moral standard, which can learn by any "father" or "mommy" figures
"Blood is not love."
An expression I just made up about this sort of thing. Like it?
i do indeed; well said!
You should try to love your blood relatives too, of course, but there's a difference between "relatives" and "family". Especially in adoption. The word "family" is a type of relationship similar to friendship. People who love their friends sometimes say things such as "He's like family to me!" or "She's my Sister at Heart." Plus pets are considered family to their owners unless they're absolutely heartless. (And pets aren't even human!) There are many ways of finding a person to be family, and none of them require close connections in DNA.
of course; other than bio f, my biological family and i are very close as well. and my friends are the family i chose for myself.
love can take many forms, and i consider myself lucky to have such an abundance of it in my life. :)
I don't have any friends, and almost never see family members I don't live with. (Also 3/4 of my grandparents are dead.)
Aww. Thank you so much for this MyTake. It really put a smile on my face :) I needed a bit of a pick me up today and this definitely was it!
I like this John guy. Very respectable ideals. I'd definitely drive those 6hrs though, like I wouldn't ask, I'd just show up.
What a load of bollocks.
Men that raise other men's children are fools. You'll never be more than a wallet. You could be the only dad they've known for 20 years, and if the biological father comes back into the picture, those brats will fuck you right off.
Single mothers are best avoided.
How do you know that?
@Nice_Guy_Last
Talk to men who have been there, you'll find out. Also Google "Don't date single mothers" and read some of the results.
I fucked up, BAD, and wifed up a single mother. So I know firsthand what a shitty experience it is to deal with them. When I say they are best avoided, that's no shit. It's straight from someone who lived it for ten long, miserable years.
Sorry you had a bad experience, but I really think your input is anecdotal: yes, it happened, but it's not really representative of the whole. Your logic is not far off from a guy who feels slighted by a single woman, saying, "Women are evil."
@Nice_Guy_Last
You're assuming that I'm basing this only on my own, personal experience.
Such is not the case.
Do some reading, you'll find tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of men with the same experiences.
Seriously, Google will help you, a lot. You'll never want a single mother after spending some time with Google.
hundreds of thousands? thats a far off exaggeration. yes, there are a lot of posts out there on this topic, but to claim hundreds of thousands of individuals have attested to this is not likely at all. I wonder, what do you have to say to the people who dont fit your story? My dad is not my brothers biological father. My brother never knew his father. When my brother was 2, and before I was born my dad met my mom and 2 years later had me. My dad considers both me and my brother his son and always will. I dont consider my brother a ''half'' brother he's just as close to my father as I am. He raised us both. He has his faults and goes through things, but he understands the concept of being a father and blood has NOTHING to do with it. My brother met his real father and his other brothers from the other side and guess what? he only talked to them twice out of his entire life. you clearly have been hurt by someone. life is not as black and white as you are thinking it is
@applesandbannanas22
It's not far off at all. Do some reading, you'll find many stories from men from around the world that will jive with what I'm saying. So it's not limited to the US, or to a certain state. If you're willing to invest the time, and keep score, it wouldn't surprise me the least for you to find over 100k men whose experiences are similar to mine. Some better, some worse, but none of them great.
You're using your own experience as 'proof' that step-families are somehow good or acceptable or whatnot. My stepdad is a good guy, we get along very well now that I'm an adult, and I don't call my brother and sister "half" anything either. But I'm not going to pretend that our relationship is normal, not when my own eyes have shown me that it's far from it. Of all of the people I've known with step-parents, I probably had the best relationship with my stepdad when I was a teen, and to say it was rocky would be putting it mildly.
And my experiences with BEING a stepdad have taught me well. I won't repeat that mistake again. Single mothers are for fucking, when you're dumpster diving just to get your willie wet, and that's IT.
''Do some reading, you'll find many stories from men from around the world that will jive with what I'm saying. ''
I have, but hundreds of thousands? I find that to be a little exaggerated. im not using my own experience as ''proof'' you called men who dated single mothers ''fools'' when there are many who do just fine. I can also find a lot of men online that have had good experiences with women. I can also find a lot of men that have had manipulative women and call all women evil. Its a overgrossed statement none the less. Like I said before, everything is not as black and white as you are making it seem. It not only depends on the timing such as the age of the kid but also the economic standpoint, the actual mother herself and the step dad that puts himself in the picture. Saying single moms automatically= disaster is not accounting the success stories. You look for the bad, and ignore the good. My story is one of many.
@applesandbannanas22
It's still a (mostly) free Interwebz, so you can think whatever helps you sleep at night.
I'll stick with what my experience, and the experience of an untold number of other men, has taught me, and continue to regard single mothers much the same as I would radioactive waste like spent reactor fuel rods or leaky warheads.
@Barrabus_the-Free i'm sorry to hear that your experience has made you feel that way. but, for every story like yours, there's one like mine.
the only things best avoided are bitter, butthurt people like you.
No, for every story like yours, there are ten like mine.
You need some new material, cupcake. If you're going to try to shame men, words like bitter, virgin, neckbeard, or loser don't work any more. They've been overused and have lost their power.
lol, someone's triggered.
you don't represent your gender. if you'd even read the take you're so adamantly opposed to, you'd get that i'm not shaming men; i'm laughing at your sad attempts to bully me, because my 6-year-old nephew is more creative with his insults than you.
go cry in a corner, snowflake. :) <3
Not the Take, genius. Your reply right up above.
FFS, women are dense. This is why they're no good for conversation, just fucking.
And 'bully you'? Puh-leez. Disagreeing with and/or being critical of something you wrote isn't 'bullying'. Only the worst of the Tender Butt crowd would think so.
Beautiful but not all women date men who are like their dads.. My dad is a creep and I wouldn't want to date someone like him
John must have been special to you and your family and meant a lot to you.
is he dead?
My Step Kids Refused To Accept Me As Their Stepdad (18 & 14), They Were Constantly Rude, Disrespectful Towards Me, They Made Up Lies In Hopes My Wife Would Divorce Me And Remarry Their Dad.
My Wife Refused To Say Anything To Them About Their Behavior, She Believes They Are Entitled To Express All Feelings, Regardless Of How Rude They Are Towards Me.
But Of Course When They Wanted Something I Became Their Best Friend, And They Would Kiss My Ass.
Rude, Obnoxious, Self Centered Assholes.
You fucked up BAD by wifing up a single mother. Ask me how I know...
Single mothers should be treated like uncontained plutonium: dangerous to a large area, and avoided at all costs.
i'm sorry to hear that.
divorce always affects the kids involved, and i'm sure that it would be even worse for an older child or a teenager than it was for a little kid like me. at their ages, it's possible that your wife's daughters are old enough to know exactly why they divorced. and, because they're older, they're having a harder time accepting change.
how soon after the divorce did you enter their lives? if their parents split, like, a month ago and mom (before she met you) had a contentious relationship with their bio father or a history of bringing home tons of different men, only for them to leave like their father did, i'm a bit more understanding than if it's been more than a year and this is still happening.
that said, your wife's attitude in this scenario is all wrong. she should be encouraging the children to respect you. if she can't do that, you may want suggest family counselling or reevaluate your relationship with her.
your ages says you are 18-24...
The step kids are 18 & 14? But you're 18-24?
@Jaye234 exactly what im thinking
@applesandbannanas22
Hense "Step Kids"
I wish I had a dad like that. Great mytake :) I'm happy for you.
Great Take, I love my dad because of everything he does.
I know of so many men like John who are more than happy to take over the role of being a dad.
Nice to hear that men like john exist in today's society! :) nice take.
yes; he's been so good to us over the years, and it gives me hope because it means that there are other men out there like him. :) thank you for your kind words!
Great Take, I love my dad because of everything he does.
I wouldn't raise another's kids because I don't even want kids of my own
I personally find it somewhat noble that people are willing to admit that. Some people just blindly jump into parenthood and don't do what needs to be done to be a good parent. Better to say, "Nah, no thank you," before rather than after you have kids.
@Nice_Guy_Last Thank you
@Nice_Guy_Last
i agree with you; as someone who doesn't want kids, biological or otherwise, i wouldn't be able to do what my dad did. i agree with nice_guy_last that it takes a lot of courage to admit that to yourself and accept it.
@vonasaurus that is nice wow thank you
you are most welcome, and thank you for your kind words. :)
@vonasaurus you're welcome :)
That's EXACTLY RIGHT! Any guy can be a father... few can be a dad!!!
I love this and can say every man can be a father but not a dad. Kids give out the title of dad 😁
Thank you for sharing your story. I think that it's woderful that you have a good dad now. Shame on your biological father. You are so blessed.
That was a riveting story and I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you for sharing this! It was very touching <3
I think this is a good take
but your dad has no right to beat the 'crap' out of a guy for breaking his daughter's heart
if he does however then the ex boyfriend should get some friends and cripple your daddy.
i agree, and i'm glad he didn't; but, looking back, i think he said it because he wanted to protect me, as any father should his children.
''cripple your daddy'' lol