Why it's NEVER Okay to Spank a Child for Being Naughty (Page 2)
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Not really. I used to get in trouble a lot as a kid, and sometimes my father would be a bit too strict and spank me to the point where I was actually afraid of him sometimes. It stopped around eleven-years-old. He's a loving father and cares. Anyway, that's the only way it effected me when I was younger. I get it teaches the kid respect, discipline, and etc.
I disagree. I think there's an obvious difference between spanking and hitting/abusing. And a few gentle smacks when a child is naughty means they learn the lesson and spanking doesn't become necessary after that.
I was spanked as a child. It taught me to behave. I was never battered, punched, or abused. I also never hit my father or mother or got into needless fights or suddenly loved violence.
All this namby pamby nonsense about what spanking will do to children is bullshit concocted by people who don't know how to discipline a child or were abused themselves and have no idea that you can spank without it being abuse of some sort.
Ask the guys who wound up in jail or are scumbags in life if they were spanked and taught to obey rules and respect authority when they were young. Ask people who were spanked if they think it's fine.
You'll find there's a reason why the phrase "I was spanked - never did me any harm" is a truism and a stereotype.
If you have these problems, you're spanking the wrong way. No one except my husband and I have the right to touch and spank my kids. Children have to learn manners. If you only spank your kids but never give them affection, if course they will lie and hide things from you.
My parents spanked me a lot and they still slap me at times. But they are still the coolest parents ever cause last time I did well in my exams, dad bought TWO BIG PIZZAS for me.
I see other kids like me whose parents never spank them, and I cringe at their lack of manners. People are losing discipline and morality.
My father used to kick my ass (liteerally, not beating me up) and I feel like he was right to do so. It taught me to stay in line as he would do this when I wouldn't listen. In my opinion, it's a solution to make children listen when they don't want to and reminds them of their place. This reminds them that they should respect the older ones too. And, of course, it encourages them not to do bad things again.
However, the hits must be well timed. Only hit when necessary and the children is "out of control" and not listening to you.
media.giphy.com/media/WJF8CU5VvXDlm/giphy.gif
Ain't no brown kids shooting up schools.
LMAOO
that's an excellent point
You always know a parent doesn't discipline their child by the way the kid answers back, makes demands, disrespect, screams abuse and uses foul language in public.
wow just wow
@troychapman yeah I know.. unreal
Why do many of you think you have to spank/hit to discipline?
You know you can discipline without corporal punishment?
"uses foul language in public." Like Scaramucci?
Agree.
Don't forget to also treat your slaves accordingly.
https://i.imgur.com/cuL7hs6.jpg
what retard wrote thar
that
@Vesuvius87 of course corporal discipline shouldn't be the ONLY or the primary way of discipline. in my opinion spankings are done best when use at a high level of disobedience (such as shoplifting), or repeated offenses.
@Vesuvius I agree fully. Disciplining doesn't need to hurt physically.
@jacquesvol I think as was the case in my youth that disobedience and bad behaviour is best nipped in the bud before it grows into something worse.
Bad behaviour really should only need corrected a handful of times
@DonkeyRick69 Spanking godly? :-o
http://oi68.tinypic.com/1tms05.jpg
@jacquesvol no parent says either of those things to their children.
2 downvoters were badly raised lol
Troll...
Trolls are anonymous... oh wait lol
quite clearly not
Clearly I wanted to get a point out there. I can be anonymous if I want
@troychapman quite clearly yes. 13 up votes vs 2 down
ok its just thumbs up just means more people dont have the decency to realize its not ok to hit some especially not innocent children
@troychapman Scary but it explains why society here is so violent.
@troychapman if they get smacked they are not innocent.
@jacquesvol soceity has so much violence because of a lack of discipline in violent people's youth
innocence is lack of pain you have caused someone how much pain can a child cause someone the worst they can do is worry their parents which still makes them innocent
@troychapman so thrives should be freed from prison?
@DonkeyRick69 Violent because these kids got an 'education' showing them violence is OK, since their parents use it.
@troychapman The Bible itself says the Bible is God breathed.
@jacquesvol mocking the bible is antisemitic, antichirstian and islamaphobic.
Atheist here lol
@Vesuvius87 exactly
@DonkeyRick69 2Tim3:16
http://biblehub.com/2_timothy/3-16.htm
never think atheists don't know your religion
@jacquesvol so you admit your antisemitic, antichirstian and islamaphobic?
i do not mock the bible merly both disagree and realize that its written by men then so therefore dont believe god would condone what it says like throwing rocks at a child until death for disobeying their parents you call that godly i call that evil lets face it we are in the 21st century we need more than some words written on a page from some book written by primitive men over a thousand years ago i do not trust in a book i trust in actions such as kindness the ability to turn the other cheek. hitting children is not godly anyone or anything who thinks thats ok is cruel the only time its ever not as bad is if the child hurt another child still not ok but understandable.
@troychapman if you mock the bible then you are indeed being antisemitic, antichirstian and islamaphobic
@DonkeyRick69 I just mention tthe verse I refer to.
That doesn't make me antisemitic, antichirstian and islamaphobic. :D
@jacquesvol actually it does
I agree but sometimes you have to think of one possibility. That the parent already knows that spanking is not good but it's just a parental instinct that tells them you have to do it... so they do it on impulse. Otherwise I don't think people will even still consider doing it still even though they know the consequences. That or they are simply uneducated and had a rough background. Though if the latter is applicable then at the same time two things can happen. They will keep doing it because their parents did it to them and they turned ok or in fear of what they felt when they were spanked they try to avoid it at all costs. Last but not least, parents who keep spanking their children, they believe if they don't do it, their kids will be spoiled.
Spanking is good if it's done right and under the right circumstances. My dad never spanked me unless I deserved it, which was less than 5 times my whole life. The other times he just talked me through what I did wrong and how I could have avoided it. I love my dad because he made me better, even with the sparingly spankings.
As I said, spankings are ok under the right circumstance but should never be used as the single means of discipline. That doesn't teach anything. Kids need discipline, not a friend from their parents.
Dude no. Im not a child of spankings because i didn't live with my dad but my brother and sister did. They seem to be stand up people to me. No sign of mental illness, they still trust our dad to keep their best interests in mind, they are some of the most confident people i have ever met. And all children try to avoid their parents when they do wrong.
There are rules to spanking your children.
You warn them first so they understand why what theyre doing is wrong.
You only spank them if it warrants spanking.
Like you tell you 4yr old not to play in the grass and not run out into the street. They do it once you remind them amd tell them not to and why. If they do it again you spank them.
Spankings should stop around pubescent age. By then they no better about most things and the mistakes they make will probably not be as detrimental as running into the road. Those mistakes will also reinforce the fact that you care about them because you tried to warn them.
Soooo true. 100%
I agree you can teach your child respect and discipline in normal ways.
My child has respect from me and that's because I could show her without spanking her, that it's important and she should listen to me and if she does something wrong with talk about it.
She is not a bad girl and she behaves good, she is raised right.
Always when we meet to play with others I see it, she tries to communicate when she has a problem and don't start to scream and cry like every other one or just takes it away, she can make her way through and gets what she wants but on good ways
by the way I became a mom with 16, I'm 21 now and my baby is going to be 5 in January
It depends on how his/her mind works.
Some people need to be made to feel beaten down in order to respect you. It's with these people that spanking is effective.
But others need to logically understand why they shouldn't do something aside from simply "you'll get punished if you do this." Spanking does not work with these people, and only teaches them to not get caught next time.
"Some people need to be made to feel beaten down in order to respect you. "
Persons who were physically abused by their parents.
@jacquesvol Or just a lot of persons in general.
A lot of people were physically abused by their parents.
@jacquesvol Yes... more then people realize, or abused any which way.
@jacquesvol And a lot of people who weren't abused also don't listen to reason and only respond to being forced to piss themselves.
Do you REALLY think that being abused makes people listen to reason?
@jacquesvol I won't MAKE them do anything. They'd be doing it themselves.
A lot of people CHOOSE to ignore reason either to go with the grain, justify their self-righteous sense of morality, or just to see how much they can get away with. If these people need to be "abused" in order to realise how important it is to use sense, well I guess people are gonna cry.
i agree that in this day in age spanking should not be used. i was spanked as a child and don't really feel like it taught me any bad lessons (damaged self-esteem, violence is ok, might makes right, etc) i also don't feel like it was a good behavior modifier.
i can understand why people felt for a time like spanking was ok but we know better now and have far better resources for behavior modification than spanking
So what about kids who were destined to be bad but ended up successful grounded people thanks to harsh discipline? Or are you saying they dont exist?
I would be in jail if my parents didn't beat me.
I just feel the ones who speak out strongly against it, are the ones who have had negative experiences with it. Please don't speak for everyone, you do you.
I agree, it must be awful to have been abused, but like I said in my answer, corporal punishment WITH STRUCTURE, is always a good thing.
If you tell your son or daughter "you better not shoplift again or you're getting a severe ass beating" after they got caught stealing candy at a convenience store... and your son/daughter get caught shoplifting again and you give a spanking... that's not abuse.
@Prof_Don okay with an example i see your point, especially in this scenario
@Prof_Don Indeed. I have the fairly unique position to witness it's affects on different kids too. My elder sister and I were spanked because we deserved it, my younger sister has never been spanked in her life... because she has never done anything to deserve it.
People assume their own experience equates to everyone else's. There is a time and place for spanking and a time and place for less harsh punishment. OP goes on about bad parenting, i'd say bad parenting is NOT being able to determine when and to whom to apply varying degrees of punishment.
I agree. Many people say "I was spanked and I turned out ok" but that really means nothing. You can turn out ok in spite of being spanked, not because of it. Spanking is totally unnecessary. So many people think no spanking = no discipline, but that's not the case.
Seems like most people here disagree with you... but I'm totally on board. I don't think spanking children is okay. (It's illegal in my country, as a matter of fact -- any parent who spanks their child here is breaking the law and in a worst-case-scenario risks having them taken away by the Child Services..)
This doesn't mean that children should be raised with extreme permissiveness or anything... but there's a huge world between "spanking" and "spoiling."
Smh. Spanking is fine. Abuse isn't. People like you are the ones that raised the most spoiled and bad attitude little morons our society has to offer.
Because they were taught from a young age I'm to good to be treated like everyone else.
Actually is your point a poor generalization of a narrowminded person.
not being hit=/= spoiled
I got my ass beat plenty when I was little and I'm perfectly fine. There are biological reasons for a lot of those, for instance, strength does decide what's "right" because strength helps us enforce that and human history could easily tell you that it's in our nature to resort to violence to solve problems.
Great MyTake.
I was beaten by mom in childhood and I don't want my kids to experience same.
How can a normal healthy grown up person violate on kids? Someone who can't even defend himself/herself.
It made me kinda aggressive person and definitely didn't make me a better child. Actually It made me more rebellious and... unhappy.
But thankfully I'm not aggressive to the weak people. It's the most awful thing to do, oppress the weak as a strong one.
In my country spanking is normal and kids don't grow up disrespectful and spoiled like kids in the US.
If you did something wrong and you got spanked, trust me , you'll never do it again.
Where are you from? The same where I'm from.
lol, I guarantee OP isn't a parent and has no idea on what she saying.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwbc_v1xBAUWhen you have a bratty 6 year old, calling you names, shouting and threatening to humiliate you in public and cause a scene because you won't buy their fave breakfast cereal, get back to us.
If your kid acts that way, clearly YOU are doing something wrong as a parent. It's not the child's fault and he shouldn't have to pay for your frustration with physical pain and endure humilliation.
@CurLyF I agree with you
are you serious? I'm guessing you guys have never seen a temper tantrum from a kid all because mom said no to that toy or candy bar they wanted. How oblivious are you guys? So it's my brother's fault when my nephew gets into one of those sour moods cause he wants to see mommy when he's spending time with us?
@BrittBratt2416 I have, actually. We are super close to my uncle and her 8 year old daughter and spend a lot of time with them, ever since she was a baby. I know all of those stages, and yet he has never spanked her and her tantrums are like 70% less annoying and hysterical than those of other kids. You and your brother are adults. If you can't handle a kid in a sour mood, I don't know how you are handling life. Iif you tried to teach your kids more values, they shouldn't throw that many tantrums over not getting a toy. Look at kids that come from poor families. They sure know how to behave because they KNOW toys or candies are not the most important things in life. And about your nephew, you clearly have family issues and need to work on them. And yes, if your brother is spanking him, it is his fault his son doesn't want to spend time with you guys, it's a pretty obvious reason. I wouldn't either.
@CurLyF okay so it's your fault when your boyfriend gets mad and beats you because clearly he is a child and out of control but you're not taking care of him right. if you would only be a better partner he would have no reason to be upset and lash out. no... when people are children they need to be taught what behavior is acceptable and what is not. and if a child will not respond to one set of discipline you raise the notch to the next level until they submit and learn they can't get away with bad behavior. otherwise they grow up and become abusive assholes! every man who beats a woman has a mother who spoiled him
@jennyPuss On the contrary, you are showing your kid physical abuse is acceptable, because YOU (the parent) are bigger and stroger, so you have the right to hurt them. Psicologically, how bad do you think it affects your kid that the one person that was supossed to love them firs, unconditionally, hurt them phisically and humilliated him? And you are comparing a grown up attacking another person with a child that's learning what life is all about. Every violent adult had a parent that abused them physically when they were younger, and that's exactly what they taught them, and the cycle keeps repeating. And if you want your kid to "submit", well, you are not his parent, you are his army general and, sorry, but chances are he is *never* gonna consider you his friend and love you as much as he could, and probably wanted to before the physical violence.
@CurLyF well that just shows that you're an idiot because your job as a parent is not to be your kid's friend! it's to raise them and teach them right from wrong and be successful in the world. you teach kids hitting is wrong- when they hit another kid at school or on the playground you beat their ass. you teach children there is order to the world and they don't run things the parents do- because if they disobey they get their ass beat. they don't have to like it but if you do it correctly they will love you for it. i got my ass beat as a kid until i learned to obey the rules and then i realized that obeying the rules is good and i don't get my ass beat. abuse takes place when you punish a child arbitrarily for personal satisfaction. you draw wrong conclusions. you correlate punishment and bad behavior when you should correlate unjust punishment with bad behavior. when the kid has it coming he knows it. when you don't give it to him he disrespects and hates you for it.
@CurLyF CLEARLY you've never seen little brats bitching and moaning and making their parents miserable as well as everyone else in earshot. the stupid parents run around trying to please their kids and the kids walk all over them and in return for their efforts they get hate and disgruntlement. sometimes might does make right because if the child gets it in their head that they can challenge your authority- even with violence, THEY WILL DO IT. i have seen little 9 year old boys casing their mothers around and HITTING them and the mother does NOTHING. you don't have to teach a kid to do that they already know how to do it from the moment they are born. god some people are so STUPID.
@jennyPuss Ok, first of all I never offended you, which shows how immature you are. Following the rules isn't always good, that's why you should be teaching your kids to think for themselves, teaching them right and wrong with LOVE, otherwhise they will end up like you, and people like you, defending violence, are the exact reason the whole planet's going to hell. "He hates you for it" lol. Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but your kids probably hate you now and only try to please you out fear, and they are gonna dump your ass as soon as you get old in a home and don't give a shit wether you are happy or not. You are completly mistaking being a push over with being a violent person and obviously you are the one who has no clue. I'm sorry for you and your sad life full of hate, and I sincerly hope your kids can find it in their hearts to forgive you, even if you don't desserve it. I'm done talking to you because of your insults.
@CurLyF Your better off putting her on your block list... I left this awhile ago because of all the bad comments! Your better off so you can stay away from her drama
@CurLyF that's a kids job- to hate their parents. parents are mean, unfair, unkind, intolerant, misunderstanding, unreasonable, and won't let them play or do anything they want to when they want to do it. and if you didn't think that about your parents when you were a kid then they were spoiling you. kids don't know the value of mom and dad until they grow up. i scratched the word "die" into my headboard when i was a kid because i wanted them to die. but now i love my parents and i always did- i just didn't like not getting my way. and my parents beat my ass when i had it coming. looking back as an adult i can see how i deserved more than what i got. there's a difference between abuse and discipline. to someone who doesn't know the difference they seem the same.
What a coincidence, I saw a 5-6 year old girl in the grocery store throwing a tantrum over not being able to have a package of candy she took off the shelf herself.
The mom told her to put the candy back. The girl said "no!". The mom said, "put it back now or I will spank you".
The girl looked at her mom in the eye and said "No I want the candy!".
The mom took off her sandal and starting spanking the girl on the butt with it, she of course started to cry. The mom said "put it back now, hurry up"
The girl, in surrender, put the candy back on the shelf.
--------
in my opinion that is discipline, not abuse.
@Prof_Don the simpler and easier thing to do FOR THE PARENT would just be to take the candy away and put it back on the shelf and wait for the kid to stop crying. but several lessons were learned here.
1) compliance with parental directive 2) don't take things that don't belong to you 3) disobedience will not be tolerated 4) crying gets you nowhere 5) denial of compulsiveness/instant gratification/patience
@CurLyF Actually some children are perfectly good until they see their friends do it to their own parents.
For example my cousins (I was five at the time) told me to break my toys so I did and they told me that my parents would buy me new ones I threw a tantrum as did my cousins but my parents never spanked me nor did they give in to my tantrum before I did that I treated my toys with great care and respected them after the incident I never broke my toys again.
@WildStarMagic Like you, if I broke a toy or something just to get more or a new one, they simply didn't buy me new ones. They taught me to fix them and told me it was my fault because I broke something that was perfectly fine. And I never threw tantrums. And I leart to love my toys no matter what condition they were in. And when they bought me new ones on my birthday, it really felt like a treat and felt really greatful.
@WildStarMagic your story is appropriate. breaking your toys is it's own punishment. just because i believe in spankings doesn't mean i would use it every time. i have a gun, too. i've never had to shoot anyone. and our government has nuclear weapons. spankings if done properly are effective and become more rare as the child grows and learns and becomes more responsible. most children past 10 should never need a spanking or once in a while for something really bad. but taking away an xbox or grounding can be much more effective as they get older.
@jennyPuss Yeah, but the what CurLyF implied was that it was the only the parents fault if their child acted out of line rather than it also being because of the type of people the child is around.
@WildStarMagic yeah well defiant narcissists always blame others for their own bad behavior. at first they reject the idea that their behavior is unacceptable- until it can no longer be denied. then they blame others. so it makes sense that they would think themselves the perfect parent. if the child behaves well, then it's credit to the parent. but if the child behaves badly, then the parent gets blamed as well on the parents. and that is not true- because people by nature are not good. they are selfish egotistical brats who have to be TAUGHT good manners. anyone with common sense knows that when a child is well behaved its because of the parents, but a kid misbehaving is just being a kid. and kids don't enjoy being corrected. sometimes they comply peacefully but other times they need more 'motivation'