How Does One Feel After Becoming a Mother?

[ElinaJin]

Becoming a mother makes you feel joyful, elated, empowered, and invincible. You've just pushed another human being out of your body, and you're unprepared for all the things that come so quickly. While you're in the hospital, you've got plenty of help, but when you go home, it's all up to you.

It's an exciting time because of the newness of the experience, but it is also a time of great uncertainty.

It's the first time we realize that it's possible to love someone so much. Becoming a mother expands the parameters of what love looks like to you by opening up a part of your heart that you didn't know existed. This kind of love is entirely different than the love you have for your parents, spouse, etc.

Motherhood is a unique time in your life - you are on the threshold between being a child and a mother. You experience not just the birth of a baby, but your own rebirth as well - of your identity as a woman, rather than a girl. Having a baby makes you grow up quickly. You are no longer free to pursue whatever you want - even if all you want is to sleep through the night.

Becoming a mother allows you to be able to love from a different part of who you are. Being a new mom can come with feelings of inadequacy because there is a learning curve involved. It's important to be realistic about the transition to motherhood because the more realistic you are about it, the easier it is to get through those difficult things.

Suddenly you have experiences like having to stay awake all night to care for your baby, crying, colic, loss of prior freedoms, lack of help, and other adjustments. Your life is entirely different, and you're learning how to adapt and figure out everything during a time when you are so tired that you can't see straight.

The important thing to realize is that you're not alone. All mothers experience the same process, and you will get through it. You don't have to be perfect, but you do have to understand that it's OK to make mistakes in motherhood. All mothers make mistakes, and you will too. Just don't be judgmental with yourself.

[DinaM]

I've never been a mother, but my sister has, She managed pretty well, even if she was constantly exhausted the first few years.

A friend of mine had a different experience. She had a son and initially didn't like motherhood very much; she dutifully took care of her son but didn't really see the big deal with him; she called him "little piglet" because he was always hungry, and she'd complain to me that she didn't GET what people were talking about when they said how wonderful it was to be a mother.

Then, one day, her son smiled at her for the first time. And she immediately went "Oh. I get it now."

[zagor]

Sore, I would imagine.

[PunkinPie]

I was terrified, depressed, and crying all the time. The responsibility was overwhelming and he was in the hospital. I coudln't breastfeed, my milk wouldn't come and he had to have surgery. I was recovering from a c-section and other problems. It was the most awful time of my life.

Once my son was home, it was worse because I was on my own. My ex-husband worked nights so I spent the days trying to keep the baby quiet so he could sleep. One day an older woman came up to me in the grocery store and said something like, "Enjoy this time with your baby. This is the best time ever." I wanted to cry, "It gets WORSE?"

I'll never forget my son's first birthday. I spent the whole day alone with him, watching him play, because my husband was working and I have no family here, and the few friends I'd made since moving to NJ were busy. They were paving our street so I took him outside and we watched the big machines. That was our day.

[dipta]

How old is he now?

[PunkinPie]

@dipta Fifteen! :D

[dipta]

Oh, time passed fast!
Maybe you agree with the old lady now, that was the best time ever, hehe

[PunkinPie]

@dipta no, he had medical problems and we were in and out of the hospital and I had postpartum depression and my own medical problems. It was not the best time ever. I think the best time was when he was about two or three and I stayed home full time with him. That was fun. But there's age is fun too because we can talk about movies and videos and stuff like that and he is sarcastic and funny.

[Twinkles88]

You mentioned all the wonderful things about motherhood. The downsides are feeling overwhelmed, a constant fear, dread, sadness that they grow up too fast, irritation because you want them to grow up and do things for themselves, guilty because you just thought that, and emotional because your baby you think you just held for the first time last week is going to school next week.

It's a rollercoaster.

[lovelyhoneybones]

I still have some time before coming a mother, but I already know it's going to be the best feeling in the world. The moment my child comes into this world is the moment I've been waiting for.

[Anonymous]

I'm at that age when everyone says I should have a baby - or two - but the more I think about it, the scarier I get.

I mean, I already have the experience of staying up all night for college or work. That seems like the easy part.

[Max_winner1]

Maybe you just created the next Hitler, you never know lol

[ArabianPwincess197]

I think it is one of life's best experience, looking at your child can make your forget the worries you have. The feeling must be indescribable.

[redeyemindtricks]

... hm? It's more typical for both mothers and fathers to worry MORE -- much, much more -- once they've become parents.

[sovetskii13]

Very sweet. Save this so you can show it to your kids when they grow up.

[sedrftvgyhujik]

Id be very very freaked out.
thinking how the... did this even happen?

[Anonymous]

I'm going to be a Mom in a few months. Ahhhh of nervois

[Anonymous]

Most women don't care. After all so many women have abortions so they obviously don't care about their babies.

[John_Doesnt]

My mother hated being a mom.

[Anonymous]

Interesting, but it's different for everyone

[disgustingweebtrash]

I'll tell you how I feel when it happens

[Anonymous]

I think I got a good mother in this lifetime...

[Anonymous]

You become more caring

[404filenotfound]

Thanks for sharing!

[CT_CD]

Thank you

[HeatNation1]

yikes!!!

[KaranSharma55]

One word "Special"