Why am I not my boyfriend's "best friend", when we have plans to be together forever?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over two years. We love each other unconditionally and plan to get engaged when we finish college. When he brings up his friend, Mike, in conversation he usually makes a point to add in that Mike is his best friend. They are "best friends", but why do you think he rarely tells me I'm his best friend when we plan to spend the rest of our lives together? He has told me before that me & Mike are the two most important people in his life. I want my boyfriend to be my lover and my best friend, but I don't think its the case. That is so important to me. I don't want to take the place of Mike, nor do I wish to be the only person in my boyfriend's life. I want him to be happy, but I feel that we are not as close as him & Mike. Is this normal?

Updates

+1 y

anyone?

[releberh]

If you ask me who my best friend is, I will tell you Becca, a girl that has been a friend of mine since 2nd grade. I think my husband has somewhat felt your feelings. Becca is my best-friend and it would seem kind of a betrayal to her to say otherwise and she is my best female friend period. I am more comfortable with my husband than I use to be (I am rather shy) and now I would definately call him my best friend, although I haven't really told him that. I also have two dogs at home (my husband and I are currently in Iraq and have been four the past 7 months) that I love to death. Sometimes I think he feels a little hurt that I care about them as much as I do.

I think it depends on how your boyfriend acts with other people. Does he talk about you a lot to other people? My husband talks about me a lot to his friends, and I do the same. I don't talk about Becca to other people, but I do about him because he is my husband and I love him. As long as he makes you feel cherished when out with others, I think I would let it be. Maybe you haven't made that best friend connection. My husband has his male friends who love to play Call of Duty with him, but I don't doubt that he loves me.

I find it a tad odd that he says you and Mike are his best friends, but I guess I can understand. Maybe he and Mike have been friends since Elementary. If it really bothers you, you could bring it up with your boyfriend. Just simply mention that it kind of irks/hurts you when he says that you and Mike are the most important people in his life. Explain to him basically what you told us.

Best of luck.

[answerman18]

Stay safe

[answerman18]

I wouldn't worry about it. You will put to much pressure on him. Let him hang out with his pal and you can be his girl.