Why does my boyfriend spend more time with his best friend rather than me?

[Anonymous]

For example he will invite his friend to stay over for a week. and I will come over and he acts like he doesn't want me there. he will make up excuses for me to leave, like I haven't hung out with my dad in awhile. I will stay the night but he doesn't want me to stay the whole day with him. but his friend is always over there. I don't understand why he doesn't want to hang out with me. its like he only invites me over just to have sex. we will hang out but not for very long. he tells me he loves me but its seems as if he gets annoyed by me when we hang out.

[shybutcrazy]

Sounds to me like he only wants you when he's horny. Otherwise, he wants you to get lost until he's ready to get some. Not trying to be harsh but it sounds like a FWB relationship just where you have the title of his girlfriend.

It's normal for guys to want time away from their girlfriends where they can hang out with their own friends and just be a guy. It's not normal for him to be happy to have you over all night for sex just to try to make up reasons to get rid of you in the morning. Sounds like he doesn't want you around for more than just the sex. As long as you keep quiet about the arrangement, he'll keep up the behavior. If you don't like it (as you obviously don't), speak up.

Before launching into a conversation about it with him try this:

1: Do not contact him. No calls/texts/showing up at his place etc. See how long it takes for him to come looking for you. If it takes him too long, that will give you an idea of how much he's thinking of you.

2: When you do spend time together, DO NOT have sex.

3: Don't be willing to just spend time at his place. Make him take you out. Not to just spend up his money but make him actually put forth some effort.

4: Start spending time with other people instead of him. Make plans with friends/family and DO NOT cancel them should he decide at the last second he wants to see you.

Essentially: demand in a non-verbal way that he must put forth the effort. If he's not willing to do it, dump him as he's not worth it. If he's just in there for the sex, he'll think you're too difficult and dump you.

[sunshine2]

This is the best response.

[kimu11]

Oh doggone it, now that you have mentioned it.. I feel the same way too! :'( I don't know why he's like that too, perhaps you should stop giving him the pleasure for a change like how the others have said. That's really sad, but if he is really just using you, get outta there! You do not deserve to be disrespected.

*hugs*

[scnbabe89]

Well sometimes guys like guys nights and I'm sorry tell you but he doesn't always want you there guys are turned off by clingy girls. Some people also put there friends before there bfs or gfs because they feel like if the relationship doesn't work out then they will always have there friends.

[shybutcrazy]

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that she's being clingy. It's normal to want to spend time with the person you're with beyond just having sex. It's not normal to expect them to constantly hang out with you and only you; there is a difference between the two.

[palek]

Boy howdy.

[wanacot]

You may have answered your own question: "its like he only invites me over just to have sex."

There is a simple solution. Stop having sex with him. I don't mean permanently, but I mean stop going over and giving him sex only to have him kick you out when you're done.

If a guy loves you, he will love spending time with you, regardless of what you may be doing. If all he wants to do is have sex and not hang out, then he doesn't love you, sorry to say.

Ask him to take you out and do things. Ask him to hang out WITHOUT his other friend. If he doesn't want to do that then, if I were you, I would be re-evaluating why I was with this person in the first place.

[Asker]

Well I have stopped for a while and he is ok with it but it still seems as if he doesn't want me around and he doesn't care about the sex anywayz. he is a flirty guy you don't think there could be another girl?

[wanacot]

That is a possibility I suppose. To me it sounds like you simply like him way more than he likes you. There are guys out there who will treat you better.

[Dela1111]

Well for many guys, without the desire for sex, they would much rather spend time with their friends, than their girlfriends, or any girls for that matter. Its not that his bestfriend is going to take your place, but he just likes spending time with him more than he does you, probably because he's more comfortable and fun.

[Asker]

Yea that's probably true I don't understand his humor some times and his friend does. thanks!

[Anonymous]

There was an episode on Tyra today about Bromances. I think the problem is that he disrespects you and you allow it. He only wants sex, his actions could not be any clearer. I don't think he wants the committment of a relationship and just wants sex from you. A man who really loves you wants to spend time with you and would love to hang out with you and not just when he can get sex. Stop having sex with him, he doesn't deserve your body.

[palek]

He's using you for sex. Tell him you've decided to save sex for marriage and see what happens.

[blufrenzy93]

I don't know why someone would disagree.

that sounds like it might actually work