Why can't I be friends with my bestfriend even if he has a girlfriend?

[ChelseaMarie2011]

I've been friends with this guy for over 6 years. We were bestfriends, I told him everything and I trusted him soo much. I did have feelings for him but he never knew or returned the feelings so I got over it. About 2 years ago he started dating this girl who wasn't a good friend of mine but I knew her and we didn't hate each other. But for some reason our relationship changed, he stopped hanging out with me or he'd make plans with me and then ditch me, we stopped talking, and then we started fighting. I remember one time in particular I called him because he had ditched me and he starting saying some horrible things to me about how I didn't care about him, which was the biggest lie ever, and I started crying and told him that I hated his girlfriend. It had slipped out but I didn't really regret it because at least he knew how I felt. After that our relationship got a little better. He made the effort to hang out with me, and his girlfriend wamred up too, telling me that she never wanted him to stop talking or hanging out with me. That was about a year ago, and in the past year we barely talked, I didn't even consider him my friend, and I made the mistake of telling our mutual friend that and she went and told him. So his girlfriend confronted me asking me why I didn't want to be friends with him anymore and I told her and she had the nerve of accusing me of having feelings for him simply because I cared about him and his life. I got pissed and we kind of got into a fight but we got over it, and me and him became sort of friends again. But over the past weekend I found out that his girlfriend has always had a problem with me and him hanging out and being friends which made me really really mad because I never did ANYTHING to make her not trust me. ANd I guess that she never trusted me but she lied to me face telling me that she told him to still be my friend which caused fights between me and him . I just don't get why she couldn't be up front with me. But my biggest question is why can't I be friends with him if he has a girlfriend? I just don't get it.

[fashion89]

Maybe because you use of begin the only one with him. meaning that, when it's just you two you guys can have fun talk about things without drama. I was in the same situation, my guy friend and I been close for years but when he dated this girl she would tell him that its alright for us to be cool but when she not around him and it's just me and her she gave me the f*** you look. then one of our mutual friend ask her why she always look at me like she want to hurt me but when she with my best friend she act like we the coolest two of the bunch, but she told her nothing.

what I realize when your best friend girl friend kept telling him that she is cool with you guys friendship.she was really lying. if you notice no girl want they boyfriend to have a girl as they friend because if they get into a fight you be the first one she blame. she think you making them break up to get with him. it's just retarted if you ask me. you should confront her in front of him and see what she really think of.

[thatssotera]

It's good for a relationship if the guy has a girl friend or the girl has a guy friend, because they can ask the friend questions about girls, like what to surprise her with or something. It makes you a better boyfriend or girlfriend. So you should be able to be friends with him.

I was jealous of a girl in my relationship once. She was a whore, and flirted with my boyfriend all the time because she knew she could. She liked to get naked in front of me and stuff. What the f***? Some people are bitches. I assume you're not like that.

Maybe you can try to be her friend? Just a thought.

[peace-splash16]

Wow. That's almost similar to what happened to me and my best friend. He's been my best friend since the 6th grade (its been 5 years now) and he finally got a girlfriend about 1 year ago. she wasn't that respectful to me, and I remember her threatening me to just stay away from them. I sorta put his feelings up before mine and I stayed clear of him most of the year... until about 3 weeks ago. we were in the gym and he randomly told me he broke up with her because she told him to stay away from me as well. now, we are a lot closer than we used to be. all because of one break-up :D.

[lovemeno]

Just let him go,if she doesn't want you to be friends with him then you have to get used to it,if he was really your friend and you care about him don't make him unhappy,it's really not nice to him being in the situation where he decides between a friend and his girlfriend .let him live his life as he likes don't ruin his life ,friends don't do that.just step away it's better because sooner or later he WILL choose his girlfriend,it's natural.

[nicholai21]

i kinda went threw the same thing just with my friend being a girl and she was dating a guy.he ended up to be the jelouse type like your friends girl seems to be.and even though me and my friend had never done anything sexually her boyfriend was threatened by me.i guess its just how some people react to close relationships that are not sexual. you just have to give the guy space and he will make a decision